Does anyone else thinking getting married at 18 is insane?!

[MemorisingHamilton]

My lovely MIL got married when she was 18. I look at my DD (17) now and the thought is beyond preposterous

21 is still so, so young!

I agree with 30

I married at 25 but I was with DH from 18. Lived together early on but with no pressures. Now mid (me!) to late (he) 30's and 2 DC.

In older generations, this was fairly standard - people were adult much sooner and there was more expectation, particularly on women, to find a man and settle down. Teen culture only really started in the 50s, so it's a fairly new concept, really. More people going to university, especially from working class, backgrounds (the people that were expected to finish school - if they were lucky - then get out into work as soon as possible) has extended youth. Expectations are more varied and generally different now.

But yes, it does seem insanely young to me!

YANBU. I got married at 20 and the 'qualities' I appreciated then we're definitely not the ones that made for a happy marriage. It limped on for 7 miserable years. Looking back at what an arrogant, headstrong, yet terribly insecure person I was then it's not surprising that it was a disaster. I think teenagers with the kind of maturity to make it work are few and far between. They just haven't had the time or life experience and there's still a lot of mental & emotional development happening.

I got a real shock on rewatching The Little Mermaid for the first time since my childhood a few years back and realising that the plot revolves around a 16yo marrying, essentially, a total stranger.

I think the stats amply bear out that marriages entered into at 18 these days (in cultures where divorce is an option) are generally not a good idea.

Yes, but love makes us insane doesn't it?! Pretty sure at 18 I thought my boyfriend was the love of my life. Would be equally horrified if my daughter married at 18 (I married at 26 and that was too young too!)

Engaged at 17, married 1 week after my 20th birthday. Will be our 33rd Anniversary in March.
However the first 10 years were ups & downs. You either grow up together or grow apart.

@Curlygirl06 I'm a similar age and out of my friends the youngest to marry was 23. Most were 30+.

I got married at 19. Was divorced by 23. Utter twat.

I was married at 18, divorced at 23. It's insane. I was playing at being a grown up.

If I had married my boyfriend I had around 18/19 that wouldn't have turned out well. Our relationship revolved around going out to nightclubs, drinking, dancing, sex and little else. Couldn't have imagined having a discussion about mortgages with him. He was so easy on the eye though...

I met my DH at 17, married when I was 26 and had our first baby when I was 28.

We had ten years together pre-children. We know each other well, we know that ‘we’ work.

I went to uni at 18, loved abroad for 18 months during that time yet we still came back to each other.

We’re mid 40’s now with teenagers. We have a great relationship.

I got married at 20. Still married 32 years later

My mother married at 19, still married to my father over 50 years later

I would be really sad if dd wanted to marry that young, for myriad reasons I think getting married is a terrible idea.

I got married at 20. I had graduated from university (Cambridge to really break the stereotype of “young wives” for you) by then though.

20 years on we are still married. Ups and downs but more ups I’d say. It is nice to have completely built our life together as a couple.

But on the whole I would encourage Dd to wait a year or two if she wanted to marry at 20.

Both of our parents also married young (19, 20, 21 and 23 between the four of them) and between the two couples now have over 100 years of marriage on the clock.

I got married at 19. Still together now 20 years later. I wouldn't want ds 18 to get married that young tbh.

I once read an interesting perspective that was along the lines of - arguably, true romance is risk; marrying a person you’ve not known long but you love at 18 and accepting the challenge of staying together is romantic and risky, you’re putting your trust in that initial rush of feelings. Or even marrying someone you’ve met twice and fallen head over heels for, it’s very ROMANTIC (read, high risk and possibly higher determination). It’s increasingly common to be together for 5/6 years and then marry, but by then you’ve mitigated your risk levels. It’s not as...’romantic’ because you’ve already hedged your bets a bit. With marrying young theres a strong sense of...Romantic (with a capital R). I say this as someone who did not get married at 18 and hedged my bets waiting for years and years to be sure

My parents met at uni and married at 22 they're still together 55 yrs later. My uncle and aunt met at teacher training college and have been married 51yrs. My Dbro and sil met at uni married at 22 and are still together 23yrs later. I met DH when he was 16 we got together when he was 18 and had just turned 21 we married when I was 24 he was 21 after finishing uni and have been married 20 yrs. Our eldest children are 19 and 18 - I'd have no problem with them marrying or living with a life partner now. Although eldest has no desire to get married or have children ever!!

I got married at 22 and had a baby the following year, altho totally unplanned. We got together at University and knew each other for 3 years before we married. Still together. No regrets.

I was 18 when I met exdh and 21 when I married him, biggest mistake of my life! I was young and thought I knew it all!

I'm a different person to who I was at 16, I'd be divorced several times over by now.

I'm 42, by the way.

I’ve been with my husband since I was 14 years old, never had another boyfriend, married him 10 years ago aged 28, love him more than anything but I think getting married at 18 would have put too much pressure on us as a couple when we were young and immature!

Met my DH when I was 18, married at 21... I'm just about to turn 23