Does anyone else thinking getting married at 18 is insane?!

[MemorisingHamilton]

My lovely MIL got married when she was 18. I look at my DD (17) now and the thought is beyond preposterous

I got married at 18, it was a big mistake, and only lasted just over a year.
My parents got married at 19, and are still together 50 years later.
I wouldn't encourage it, but I don't think we can judge people from other times or cultures, where marrying young is or was the norm.

Data is fun

I am so happy I didn't accept my first boyfriends proposal at 18. I would have missed out on so much life and experience.

I am friends with him on Facebook and I know where my life would have led.

Instead I had my first child at 31 and look back on my life with no regret as I had the best time in my 20's and was so ready to settle down and have a family when I did.

I was raised in a religion cult and a lot of women were marred super young, I was married at 23 and that was considered quite old 😆 we are still together happily so it worked out he was 25. I know some friends who didn't get married until late twenties or thirties and that was really seen as strange. Also really short engagements.

I am not really here to judge if it's healthy or not, no two people are the same and what is right for some isn't right for others. However, I would strongly advise my daughter to wait.

I think it’s insane. My grandmother got married at 16. It wasn’t unusual in her family. All her siblings left home as soon as they could, to escape an abusive environment. My grandmother was happily married, but she never really had any opportunities in life.

Watching The Crown has sparked some interesting discussions with my daughter! Diana was the same age as DD1 is now when she got engaged to Charles.

None of her friends are considering marriage - most are at university and (in normal times) enjoying some freedom. One has had a baby and is engaged, but with this was done to keep her grandma quiet rather than done with the intention of actual marriage.

My MiL married at 19 and gave up work; my own mum was 22 but continued to work until I was born 5 years later.

My parents got married at 19, mainly because my DM was pregnant. They are still together now, but I'm not sure it's the happiest marriage.

As a child I always though I'd get married young too. Then I got to 19 and, although I had a lovely boyfriend, realised I still felt way too young for marriage or babies.

I moved in with my now Dh when I was 19. I'm 52 now. But didn't marry until 9 years ago. So...

My Dm was 17 & my DD was 21.
36 yrs later still married.
They had all 4 kids (last 2 were twins ,by time my Dm was 22!!!)
They eloped on Valentines day and I love their story!

Actually I don’t think it’s insane. People are getting married much later in life these days and I don’t see at all an increase of happiness in families. I don’t see how waiting until later in life helps that much. Experience, people say. Does this experience of multiple attempts of finding the “perfect” partner really that helpful? Lots of families still end up in a divorce. Now, when you ask about having children that young, I would say yes, too young. P.S. I got married in my late 20s, when I found someone I wanted to get married to lol

I got married at 20 (DH a bit older), we're still together and now in our 30's but on reflection it was very young. I think 25+ is best. I definitely wouldn't encourage anyone to marry at 18.

At that age I just think what's the rush? It's not like you're in a hurry to start a family and get on the property ladder like in days gone yonder. If you're 18 and your BF is the man you want to spend your life with, marry him in 5 years' time instead. And still be a young bride!

On a total aside, I have a few friends who married young and I am quite jealous of their fresh faced perfect wedding photos hanging on their walls - I will have a wrinkled and a child in mine!

Married at 19, changed curriculums and completed an OU degree while generally helping out with dh’s career/ parents, began having children 10 yrs later (partly due to pcos). Married 23 yrs. First of my friends to marry, with the youngest kids. I always had a lot of responsibilities growing up, in addition to academic pressures, so marriage was quite liberating.

I was married at 19 and had my first child. 28 years later and we’re doing ok! Ups and downs over the years but three almost grown up kids. We have both said recently actually that we’ve grown up together. Would I do anything differently now? Maybe - but the world is a much different place not to what it was almost 30 years ago x

Met at 18, married at 23, still married 41 years on- all good!❤️
Everyone's different though so I wouldn't judge one way or the other

One of my year in 6th form got married at 19. She was about the only person from our year that didn't go to university, but became a civil servant. I used to beat her husband in piano competitions on a regular basis. I have no idea if they are still married.
My mother-in-law married at 19. She had just finished training as a dental nurse. I asked her once why she married so young and she told me that it was after the war (WW2) and there weren't that many men around. Shame as she was really bright.

@MemorisingHamilton Married at 22. Just after graduating from uni. I am now 28. I can't imagine marrying at 18 either.

I think getting married at 21/22 after uni graduation is ok as long as you get your careers settled and buy your home before kids. I am not comfortable with cohabitating long term without marriage as I am from a socially conservative background so I would choose to marry rather than live long term with a partner.

I would probably be 35/36 before i have my child as I want to overpay a significant part of my mortgage (london mortgage).

Met DH at 18 but didn’t get married until I was 32.

Depends on the people tbh. For most people, especially these days, probably isn't wise. But having said that, I know a number of couples who were together at that age and still are now 10+ yrs on, me and DH included. We were engaged at 19 and married at 20. Granted 20 is a lot different to 18 and we were still in school then when we met. But for example BIL and his wife have been together...15+ yrs? Since about 14/15. I don't see what difference it would have made if they had married at 18 as opposed to 25 or whatever to be honest. My grandparents were married at 18 and together until my DGM was left a widow in her early 70s, but I appreciate times were different then as they both left school when they were about 15 iiric.

One thing I notice about the people on here who are already in committed relationships/ married and on fire to have a baby while still very young is that they seem to have an extremely limited view of life and what they might do with it. When other posters say ‘What’s the rush?’, they invariably say ‘But I don’t like clubbing, we’ve gone on holidays, and we bought a house!’ as if no other possibilities exist.

I married at age 18... yes it was bloody insane and I would not want my children to follow in my footsteps.

Remarried at age 27.

My DM married at 18 (DDad was 20) and are still married 53 years later. I can't imagine D's who is 18 getting married now!

I think there is probably an optimal age range to get married. Too young and you might be too immature/drift apart over time etc. Too old and you are set in your ways/too fussy etc.

My parents were married at 19, had me at 20 (this was mid 1970’s) They are still together 46 yrs later.
Both from poor families where the kids left school at 15/16 so by 19 they were much more grown up than I was at the same age.

One of my aunts eloped at 16 & got married in secret, that one didn’t last!

My Dd is 15, the thought of her getting married in a couple of years is nothing short of ludicrous.

Uh, yeah! My DD is 16 1/2 and says “Have you SEEN teenage boys, Mum? (*shudders) I’m sticking with burritos until I’m in my early to mid twenties, at least - and then they’re going to have to be pretty damn good to get my attention!”