I don't want those days to have gone- kids growing up

[AFingerofFudge]

I've just randomly been overcome with sadness and tears when I glanced at DS1's old room where there's a photo montage of photos from him growing up that we made for his 18th (he's 21 now).
I'm totally not a crier and DH gave me the side eye when I appeared in our room crying.
I just don't want those days to have gone. I want him to be 2 again. Even 18 or 20 years ago standing freezing in the park while they went down the slide for the 50th time, even then I knew that I would miss those days and one day would be snivelling over old photos.
Anyone else get sad about their kids growing up or is just me?? I never knew I had the tears in me!!!

Not yet but I know I'll be like this. I feel the same as you now when they're running around and doing my head in. I know I'll
Miss it.

I'm actually wracked with regret about not constantly holding them when they were babies because I already miss that part of it.

Me! I have a big age gap, and tonight I’m knackered with the 2 year old and lost my patience and snapped at them both. And now I feel horrible because they are so forgiving.
I spend half my time wishing the toddler to grow up as I so exhausted and it holds me back from doing things with the older one. And the other half wishing she would stay small forever as I know when they are older I’ll miss them so much!!!

As my wise friend always says:
The days are long but the years are short

Thanks both of you for "getting" it. Yes of course there were times that were tough, DS2 was bloody hard work growing up and there were tricky times but honestly I'd do it all again.

It's our first Christmas without Santa, not sure how I feel about that!

I already find myself wistfully looking back and they're only 9 and 12, I will definitely be a bit of a sap when they both leave home.

I do understand my parents much more now though. I went to Australia when I was 24 and DF was distraught! I completely understand that now.

Yes the time goes so fast. My youngest is now 14 and pulling away from me. It's really sad and I find myself welling up at the littlest things - memories that come up on facebook, an old scooter in the shed, once adored dvds in the cupboard that have been long forgotten, wellies that are long grown out of.
The local playground was given a facelift last year. I felt ridiculously devastated when the old equipment - that my dc spent most of their weekends on when they were little - was removed

Oh yes, I definitely get it. I was talking to my friend about this. I think as a society we don't recognise it but it really is a kind of grieving process that we go through when we "lose" our children to teen/adulthood. There is no name for it; empty nest syndrome doesn't quite cut it. I can hardly bear to watch videos of when they were little as it makes me so sad. I think it's especially hard at Christmas as this was always so exciting. Neither of my kids were even slightly arsed this year about the tree going up. The McDonalds Christmas advert kind of touches on it a bit.

When mine were little, I truly struggled.

Both very poor sleepers. Very little family support. I didn’t enjoy those years at all.

And yet now they are grown, I’d go back in a heartbeat.

I get you. I yearn for the years the four of them still believed. Or still even liked me lol.

Every birthday I howl. I'm so proud of the kid he's turning into but I miss the parts of him that stayed behind. I feel like he's growing up and I've not been paying attention.

A little but I love seeing the strong, clever, independent women they have become. Sadly we can't stop the clock.

This is so sobering to read. I'm currently struggling with the early baby bit, and I already sense that I will regret wishing my baby a bit older so that I have some semblance of a life back (and sleep! Does that ever come back?!?!). I cried my eyes out packing away the newborn stuff he no longer fits into, and already regret the wishing he was 6/12/20 weeks so that I'd be through another difficult stage.

Oh god this hits me right in the stomach.

Mine are 4 and 6. Yesterday I realised that after this Xmas we might only have a couple more before the oldest knows Santa isn’t real (he’s a logical kid already questioning the logistic of Santa so we’ll be lucky to have 3 more).

Also my youngest LOVES spending time with me and wants me to play with her all the time. Highly frustrating now but makes me sad to think that one day she won’t want to spend time with me:

I just hope to maintain some good relationship with them as they grow and keep finding some things they like to do with me.

Yes. I love my old boy (20’s) but I do miss toddler him. It almost seems like he’s a different person completely - he’s got a job which he takes very seriously, when he was a sunny, silly thing before - but then when he laughs you see, oh yes, that’s still the same one after all.
I had tremendous advance nostalgia with my last. Baby massage was particularly bad, I was so sad that that would be the end of baby things. Oddly though I don’t actually miss little her as much. Maybe because I felt it as treasure more at the time? Where the others were more, blimey I’m so tired!

I totally get you OP. My eldest is 18 and looking at unis, I’m absolutely dreading him going. I love him and DD so much, I can’t bear to let them go. The last 18 years have gone so fast.

Mine are currently 8 and 10 and it’s such a nice age that I know I will miss this when it’s gone. They’re kind and funny and hug and kiss me totally unselfconsciously, they tell me they love me and want to talk to me all the time, tell me all the minutiae of their life. They’re also pretty self sufficient, capable of all the self care, don’t tantrum or act unreasonably at all, and are sensible and pretty risk averse.
I was a pretty shitty teen in that I really pulled away from my parents and I’m dreading that as mine are just such good company and fun right now!

My oldest just turned 21 and my youngest 15. When the youngest leaves home I'm going to really miss her. She's my pal and it's going to be really tough. Treasure every moment.

This is my first Christmas without all my DC. The eldest (almost 30) has decided she and fiancee would rather spend it in their own place which is 300 miles away. I understand...but wish they were all still little and living here.

It does feel odd to know this is our first Christmas without all the family here.

Anyone else a blubbering wreck at the McDonald’s Christmas advert?

My daughter is only 4 and I already feel sad that she is growing up

God, yes. I completely feel this. My two are 14 and I weep copiously if I ever stumble on footage of them as babies. It is like those little people have disappeared. I made someone cry the other day when I said that you never know when it's the last time that they will hold your hand.

Yes I get it too. Mine are 12 and 8. The 12 year old is full of attitude although I love her to bits, of course. But I miss little girl her when she didn't have anxieties and worries and hormones.

And the 8 year old is so happy and bonkers and cuddly and I know that any time now she'll change and take on the attitude of pre-teens. I already miss the child that she is now.

@SunshineYello dont beat yourself up. The baby days can be hellish, for lots of us they are just about survival. As @YardleyX says, u look back on it differently

I have a 4 year old and I already feel like this! The days are long, but the years are short- It’s cheesy but true.

Well this has made me ridiculously emotional. I'm struggling a bit with a nearly 3 year old and everything I've read suggests it get easier at 4. Now I feel guilty for looking forward to that

Oh me too. I work full time so get the guilts along with the nostalgia too.

I feel like 0-5yrs went quite slowly, but now we are in 5-10trs it feels like it’s whizzing by.

My eldest is so tall, it’s hard to believe that tiny baby has grown into such a long slender beanpole.

I feel like I didn’t take enough photos or videos. And struggle to remember them any differently to how they are today. They’ve evolved without me even realizing.

I always treasure their little hands in mine, I’ve always been conscious they won’t want to hold hands forever.

💔