I don't want those days to have gone- kids growing up

[AFingerofFudge]

I've just randomly been overcome with sadness and tears when I glanced at DS1's old room where there's a photo montage of photos from him growing up that we made for his 18th (he's 21 now).
I'm totally not a crier and DH gave me the side eye when I appeared in our room crying.
I just don't want those days to have gone. I want him to be 2 again. Even 18 or 20 years ago standing freezing in the park while they went down the slide for the 50th time, even then I knew that I would miss those days and one day would be snivelling over old photos.
Anyone else get sad about their kids growing up or is just me?? I never knew I had the tears in me!!!

Mine are 17 and 18 now and they are such great company. I found it very difficult being the mother of small children and feel that I've really hit my parenting stride in the last 10 years so I wouldn't want to go back.

I wish there was a way that the 'last one' of something could be signposted in some way so you can savour and appreciate every moment though. The last time they sit on your lap for a hug, the last time they need your help at bath time, the last time they come into your room for breakfast in bed on a sunday morning. Suddenly it's gone without warning.

Aw thanks @somethingonce
This morning the boy got angry and tearful because he didnt like the trousers I put out (school uniform, they are all IDENTICAL) making the school run stressful as we were nearly late.

I dont mind the additional housework or physical demands around childraising, but I find young children stresses me mentally no end. It's not at all what I imagined. Maybe it's punishment because I had easy babies/toddlers (good sleepers and eaters).

I know there are some cute slivers of moments like writing to santa and innocent humour etc. But their PMS style mood swings, intense rivalry and general madness (including mini friendship dramas) are foreboding of the teenage years to come... and I wish they could just... calm down

DD went away for 6 months, aged 18. I cried every day for a week.

I must be really hard hearted because I my heart sings when DD is happy whether she is here or away. I am only unhappy when she is unhappy, stressed or ill.

There is an expression that goes "you are only as unhappy as your unhappiest child", and this is so true for me.

Why do some parents find it so hard to let go?

Fear gin

I’m ecstatic when dd isn’t here

@TheVanguardSix beautiful post, and it articulated well how I feel too. Most of the time I'm just happy for them and the lives they are carving for themselves with just the odd moment of looking back wistfully

It's difficult one really. On a site as big as this you will come across people who have had such different life experiences.

I have two sons. My eldest died when he was 18 years old (he would be 25 now). My youngest son is 23 and lives with his girlfriend.

I miss their younger years. When they both needed me.

I miss my eldest in the most crushing way.

I feel melancholy for my youngest as he doesn't need me in the same way as when he was little. But I'm thrilled that he is living, loving and enjoying life as a young adult.

I veer wildly from being the bereaved parent viewpoint of wanting to scream don't be sad your children are growing as this is what they should be doing; to missing that mum role in my youngest son's life; whilst grieving my eldest.

I feel pride in my son, growing up, leaving home, but I still feel melancholy.

Parenting changes as they get older. I actually find this bit harder than when they were younger - I'm still finding my way as a parent of an adult son.

It's ok to feel melancholy.

I'm terrible at this sort of thing. When my toddlers are having a meltdown I always try and think how much I'll miss this. They are 2 and 1 and really are the most perfect age
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