So sad

[Elfingbell]

Last year I felt I had it all - loved my job, bought my first home with the man I loved and had dd, then:
We get hit with astronomical fees for 24hr fire watch in our apartment block. My partner left me for another woman when dd was a few months old. Covid saw me working from home and looking after DD I wasn’t performing at my best and have now lost my job.
I’ve spent 90% of my savings and this week will move back to my hometown and move in with my mentally ill mother.
I’m returning the keys to my apartment to the bank which means I’ve lost my deposit money but frees me from the mortgage, repossession wasn’t far off anyway.
I know I’m lucky having somewhere safe to go and some savings but I’m just so sad that It’s come to this.
I’m not looking for sympathy or advice I just needed to write it down.

No-one is laughing at you @SleepingStandingUp

@SleepingStandingUp no one is laughing at you.

God I wish I had enough down time to think up a story like this - I'm rather jealous of the OP!

ex iI'd rather believe in the posters even if it means risking scenarios like this thank you and to all the others for their kindness. There were a few moments when I wondered but I thought don't be judgemental, shit happens, be kind

@SleepingStandingUp I'm relieved they only DM'd about the trolling accusations and didn't end up dragging you down some weird rabbit hole. Still it's odd that a troll would privately seek reassurance against trolling accusations - I guess compulsive liars do believe their own lies.

Don't feel stupid. A fair few of us were duped.

I must be totally gullible because I believed it all ... I actually had tears in my eyes after the hugely eloquent message from the stepsister. I blame lockdown and working from home .... and I wholeheartedly agree that @SleepingStandingUp gave fantastic advice.

@SleepingStandingUp no-one is laughing at you, I read from the start and was totally taken in.

Ok "the big speech" was a bit but I was disappointed when I logged on this morning and saw MNHQs post. I'm rubbish at spotting trolls and really wanted to know how OP got on with "moving day" so you weren't the only one.

Thank you. She did talk a little bit more but it was basically an echo of what was on the thread. I felt so happy when she messaged to say they're done it and were out, leaving BM with a note and washing up

The best stories are those which are built around a kernel of truth.

The truth in this case being that the OP really is a selfish person willing to abuse the kindness of others. Just not entirely in the way she'd fictionalised.

Gutted. This thread really has become its own name now. I never for one moment doubted the truth of the it. I've been a member of mumsnet for about 10 years but only ever drop in from time to time (maybe for a week and then not again for a year or so) so I hadn't really twigged that there were trolls doing this sort of thing. I had even commented that she should turn her story into a book!! I guess thats what he/she was doing, trying to see if it was a decent enough story to work into a novel? It was so much more gripping believing it was real!

Ah well. That'll be me off for another year or so then. I invested in another post last week, read the whole long thing then wrote quite a long post trying to to offer some advice, but when I logged on the next day that had been closed down too and I've no idea if my efforts would have been worth it or not.

Perhaps one eeny weeny good thing came from its. I've been planning a kids story in my head for a few years now and after commenting that she/he might want to turn their story into a book one day I did get inspired to finally put pen to paper myself. Yes, I do know it's a ridiculously difficult industry to break into: my dad was a writer working from home so that was the life I was brought up within. And what I wrote may well be forgotten about whilst life gets on and I continue to work 14hr days. But you never know. And maybe I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for this story.

Wow. OP had time on her hands! Would like to know how she would have ended her story

You know what, as rubbish as this whole thing has been, the good thing is that many people have supported Sleeping who was a good person here, and this shows the positive side of MN.

I think that makes it a good outcome, notwithstanding the batshit troll 😊

@SleepingStandingUp I'd totally echo what @EarringsandLipstick said, it's posters like you that make MN what it is. I hope for one that if I'm ever in the shit, you're the sort of poster who'd show up.
Suppose it's just like life really, isn't it, there's always one idiot and unfortunately they always seem to have the loudest voices or get heard, but for every one of them there's a hundred decent people. Well, that's what I'm clinging to anyway
Also never heard of Flowers in the Attic and just went off to Google. WTF...

@BrassicaBabe

Wow. OP had time on her hands! Would like to know how she would have ended her story

Read Flowers in the attic. It would have no doubt taken several unexpected and bizarre twists

@SleepingStandingUp It's kind-hearted and engaged posters like you that make Mumsnet the brilliant place it is. It would be such a horrible place if we all started from a position of assuming everyone was lying. And it's a rarer thing than it seems.

We also believe in giving the benefit of the doubt; it's always the best way until you're sure, and we couldn't be sure ourselves without some pretty extensive behind-the-scenes work here.

Honestly, you shouldn't feel taken in at all. These people are good at what they do. It's just a shame they don't channel their energies into something useful and positive, the way you do. and

@SleepingStandingUp

Thanks for not taking it down immediately MNHQ. I feel like an idiot and quite upset but at least I didn't just log onto a deletion message

Have just read this and are definitely not an idiot. You are very kind and I hope you are around if I ever find myself in a bad situation

Also thanks to MN for leaving the thread up

Thanks @HebeMumsnet for giving the MNHQ perspective. I've never seen that before, like I haven't seen a troll thread left up. But I think it's the right thing to do, so well done MNHQ.

Hope it's all helped to make you feel a bit better @SleepingStandingUp x

Anyone up for a collective effort to add creatively to the saga?

Maybe I'm being naive, but how would one realise this was a trolling incident? I mean, how would the OP be able to prove (if asked to by MN) that her family dynamic was as she'd described?

@Smallgoon

Maybe I'm being naive, but how would one realise this was a trolling incident? I mean, how would the OP be able to prove (if asked to by MN) that her family dynamic was as she'd described?

I was thinking the same. So the MNHQ post said they had been able to establish it was a trolling exercise. But how do they know for sure?

@SleepingStandingUp please don't be down on yourself, actually feel proud that you were willing to put yourself out to help a stranger in distress. I was taken in too. I actually cried at one point. I did think that step family forgave very quickly but then I like to see the best in people. I have just logged on to see if the OP managed to get away from her mother. Alas, these people walk among us! We just have to hope they get the help they need to come back and live in the real world and stop putting on the kindness of strangers xxx lots of love to you xxx

@EarringsandLipstick

You know what, as rubbish as this whole thing has been, the good thing is that many people have supported Sleeping who was a good person here, and this shows the positive side of MN.

I think that makes it a good outcome, notwithstanding the batshit troll 😊

Absolutely and reassuring to know I'm not the oy one sucked in xx

Thanks for not taking this down yet MNHQ. It’s very frustrating to just get a deletion message when you’ve been following a long thread.

I agree with giving the benefit and that’s what I did. I was half expecting a massive drama today though, in which op had been blackmailed to stay somehow by her ‘bm.’ That was the next Troll red flag I was looking out for and is therefore my prediction for how the thread would’ve gone. Love the step brother arc though!!

@SleepingStandingUp I’ll just echo the others and say I admired your great advice and think you have nothing to feel daft for. I’ve been here for absolutely years now and you get to spot the gripping yarns as they evolve but even then, you can’t always call it either way and, as I say, I’d always give the benefit.

As for the op having a laugh.... Well. I’d just consider what awful shit they have going on in their lives that this type of thread is the outcome and try to be compassionate, not angry.

Maybe I'll write a book and get my revenge. A women, X, makes friends with another mother , Y, at play group (post covid OBVS) and gets sucked into Ys web of make believe. X gets so sucked in she goes round to the Ys mother's house to confront her only to discover another family lives there
Does X seek revenge and to bring about the destruction of Ys life as she'd pretended it to be? Or do Ys own lies tangle her into a dangerous web , that only X can save her from?