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Original poster

So sad

372 replies

Elfingbell · 23/11/2020 15:06

Last year I felt I had it all - loved my job, bought my first home with the man I loved and had dd, then:
We get hit with astronomical fees for 24hr fire watch in our apartment block. My partner left me for another woman when dd was a few months old. Covid saw me working from home and looking after DD I wasn’t performing at my best and have now lost my job.
I’ve spent 90% of my savings and this week will move back to my hometown and move in with my mentally ill mother.
I’m returning the keys to my apartment to the bank which means I’ve lost my deposit money but frees me from the mortgage, repossession wasn’t far off anyway.
I know I’m lucky having somewhere safe to go and some savings but I’m just so sad that It’s come to this.
I’m not looking for sympathy or advice I just needed to write it down.

OP posts:
finsorfeathers · 02/12/2020 00:46

I found this thread yesterday and have read all the way through last night and tonight. Will reiterate what another poster said; I've been more hooked on it than some some book i've read and it's clear the story has not yet ended for you Elfing. I'll be honest, when I first started to read I was pretty sure you were only wanting to apologise to get into DF and SM's house as somewhere to live. And I'm one who normally always sees the best in people (DH gets irritated with me forever seeing the other persons point of view when he is struggling/just wanting to rant!). Whilst I have continued to read and am now fully convinced that your appalling BM is to blame for messing with your head, you might want to consider that your df might be thinking the same as I thought to start with. Yes I know that he was offering help and you turned it down but then you admitted to having lied about the photographer and flute so he will now be questioning everything right now. I am also sure that with the support of SM, B & S he will come round, but it's fully understandable that he should need time to process and have a little internal battle with himself. I would say to be patient on that front as he may really be questioning your motives right now. It's such a relief you have tomorrow booked in but yes, you do need a contingency plan if it doesn't work out.

By the way, you write very eloquently, so perhaps you could even write your story into a book one day! If I were you I would print out this whole thread as a reminder of what you told us all. I know that all the comments are property of mumsnet etc, but they are your memories and it would just be a reminder

Original poster
Elfingbell · 02/12/2020 01:04

Once again thank you all for your kindness and the invaluable support and advice.

I haven’t thought of a contingency but unlikely bm will cancel tomorrow or be ill (never on a Wednesday or Friday) because the pub will be open and she’s missed the pub a lot during lockdown, she has plans to go for a late lunch with her Nordic friends so I think I’m safe.

OP posts:
Smallgoon · 02/12/2020 01:24

I agree with PP that you could turn your life story into a book ShockShock - not sure you'd want to relive it, but my god, what a book! I'm hoping there's a happy ending OP! xx

RandomMess · 02/12/2020 07:46

Today is the day!!!

Hope it goes very smoothly Thanks

I feel disturbed by your BM attitude towards your DD and reenacting the whole making you "live" up in the attic.

Cantdoitallperfectly · 02/12/2020 08:21

Good luck today!!

Marmite27 · 02/12/2020 08:35

Good luck today Flowers

Original poster
Elfingbell · 02/12/2020 09:02

Thanks everyone we have just over an hour to go, I have a friend coming to get my boxes out of the garage and I will leave her to lock up and I’m going to catch a bus with dd.
I will message this afternoon when dd is napping.

OP posts:
jotorious · 02/12/2020 09:24

I haven't posted before on this thread but have been reading. I just wanted to wish you good luck for today and for the strength to get some space for the both of you away from your BM. You deserve a new start away from all you have been through this year. Hope the move goes ok, not long to go.

CeibaTree · 02/12/2020 09:28

Good luck today, I hope it all goes smoothly, and you and DD can start getting on with your new lives away from your mother's toxic influence.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2020 11:45

Just stopped work for a moment to wish you luck too @Elfingbell

I've been thinking of you. I think when you're away from your mother you can address the other issues more fully. 💐

MNHQ
HopeMumsnet · 02/12/2020 11:52

Hi everyone,

We're sorry to break in here because we can see how involved and supportive so many of you have been but we have just in the last short while been able to establish to our satisfaction that this has been a trolling exercise. Of course we have banned this poster.

There is some discussion in the office as to what to do next. Of course there's the standard deletion option, but this has been such an exercise in creative writing that we wondered if you'd like to have a bit of time to yourselves to fume/express disappointment/come up with our endings to this absolute fiction - we have rather brought the curtain down before the final act.

We'll check back in on the thread shortly. Sincere apologies to those who feel that their time has been wasted and many thanks to those who reported and kept their powder dry on the thread itself. It does allow us to be unequivocal.

nimbuscloud · 02/12/2020 12:01

I think it was fairly obvious it was a work of fiction. But lots of worthwhile advice was given which may well be useful to other people.

QuentinWinters · 02/12/2020 12:01

SadAngry

Sarahlou63 · 02/12/2020 12:02

Fucking hell!!

Ironingontheceiling · 02/12/2020 12:02

Thank you Hope.

I just want to thank you all so much for listening to my reports and following them up yourselves. It has made me feel more happy to report because I wasn’t treated like I was telling tales.

I’m upset, because I initially believed this poster, but as it went along I had real doubts - I didn’t post any more on the thread but I could seee others getting pulled in. Which makes me feel a bit sick really.

Anyway,, thanks to all at HQ. Flowers (not in the attic)

LaBodDelMed · 02/12/2020 12:04

Well continuing the Flowers in the Attic theme, she’d have fallen in love with her step-brother at the gushing apology meeting with the saintly step-mother, and they’d all live happily ever after, once he’d rescued her and DD from evil BM and the Attic of course.

PuggyMum · 02/12/2020 12:21

Why do people do this though??? I read the thread but didn't post and won't deny it did seem to have it all.

Sharpcattlegridheavyhat · 02/12/2020 12:31

This thread made me cry! Eesh, gotta stop reading mumsnet

Marmite27 · 02/12/2020 12:31

Aww I want to know if the mum cancelled Nordic walking and scuppered the moving plans.

It is very well written. I’m glad it’s not true tbh.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2020 12:34

Oh no! I know, I know, it's the internet, we shouldn't be so invested etc. I'm usually nodding sagely at this ...! I waited a long while before joining in, because a couple of things surprised me; the rapid transformation of OP's situation from a pretty dire one to working out fairly nicely (job opportunities, place to live rent-free, ultra-supportive family) and later, the fact that her family wrote incredibly in-depth, cogent responses quickly to her apologies, and when she asked if she could share them on a forum, they were happy to agree.

BUT ... I did think after a while, it sounded real, and was affecting. Feel pretty daft now.

There was great support given by other posters; and I noted that the OP asked to PM one in particular, who had invested a lot of time.

It's such a shame. I don't really know why people do it either, especially when it requires considerable time and effort on their part to build up a story, reply to posts and keep it all together.

Thanks MNHQ for not taking it down immediately!

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2020 12:35

@LaBodDelMed

Well continuing the Flowers in the Attic theme, she’d have fallen in love with her step-brother at the gushing apology meeting with the saintly step-mother, and they’d all live happily ever after, once he’d rescued her and DD from evil BM and the Attic of course.
Brilliant @LaBodDelMed Grin
CurrentEvents · 02/12/2020 12:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Smallgoon · 02/12/2020 12:40

Oh ffs. I did wonder if this is sounded a bit far-fetched but ultimately, I didn't see why somebody would go to the effort. This is quite sad really, despite it all, there was some good advice in this thread, and it's good to know that Mumsnet can be a good place to come for advice and support, should somebody truly find themselves in a troubling place.

AngelDelightUK · 02/12/2020 12:40

I think I must be gullible, I just can’t see how you can tell for sure it’s a troll!!!

I’m gutted as was rooting for her to get the hell out of there!!

Smallgoon · 02/12/2020 12:42

Be keen to know what tales OP told @SleepingStandingUp yesterday, and how they feel about this thread being a work of fiction?

Also be keen to know how MN know for certain this is indeed a work of fiction?

Gah, so annoying when you extend support without knowing you are entertaining a troll.