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Original poster

So sad

372 replies

Elfingbell · 23/11/2020 15:06

Last year I felt I had it all - loved my job, bought my first home with the man I loved and had dd, then:
We get hit with astronomical fees for 24hr fire watch in our apartment block. My partner left me for another woman when dd was a few months old. Covid saw me working from home and looking after DD I wasn’t performing at my best and have now lost my job.
I’ve spent 90% of my savings and this week will move back to my hometown and move in with my mentally ill mother.
I’m returning the keys to my apartment to the bank which means I’ve lost my deposit money but frees me from the mortgage, repossession wasn’t far off anyway.
I know I’m lucky having somewhere safe to go and some savings but I’m just so sad that It’s come to this.
I’m not looking for sympathy or advice I just needed to write it down.

OP posts:
Smallgoon · 02/12/2020 12:48

@LaBodDelMed

Well continuing the Flowers in the Attic theme, she’d have fallen in love with her step-brother at the gushing apology meeting with the saintly step-mother, and they’d all live happily ever after, once he’d rescued her and DD from evil BM and the Attic of course.
And we establish that DF was never her real DF as seems to be the norm in VA novels...
Hobnobswantshernameback · 02/12/2020 12:59

People actually believed this Shock

LaBodDelMed · 02/12/2020 13:05

Ha ha @Smallgoon

NerrSnerr · 02/12/2020 13:39

@PuggyMum

Why do people do this though??? I read the thread but didn't post and won't deny it did seem to have it all.
I think lots of it is attention. Posters on here get massively over involved and the OP gets egged on and adds even more juicy detail.
LadyFelsham · 02/12/2020 13:48

I believed it at first but started to wonder more as the posts went on-all that understanding from a family who could reasonably be expected to have their names sent to the Pope for immediate beatification.

One big hint to me came from a poster who declared that everything was happening so fast, the OP's head must be spinning!

I hope the poster that she said would message privately has not been put through the wringer and is feeling ok.

Scbchl · 02/12/2020 14:11

Just read all ops posts then came back to full thread thinking what a LOAD of bullshit then seen mumsnets post 😂 reaching out to old school friends to see if their parents have houses to rent. The emails from the younger sister where she basically said oh op you weren't that bad never mind you hiding my instrument it was better for me in the end and how it was basically turned to her being the victim. Such nonsense.

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 02/12/2020 14:40

OP jumped the shark once she got to the gushing responses from step-siblings Hmm Good try though.

Smallgoon · 02/12/2020 15:05

It's funny because the thing that was most telling for me wasn't related to the made up family dynamic (I am naive, lol), but rather her mentioning of the fire watch issues with the flat. She said her service charge had tripled and she was paying a monthly ground rent, which made little sense to me. I'm sure ground rent is annual and it's usually a small amount, comparative to service charge (like £250 a year). Anyhow, I'm sure 'management fees' have increased for those in this predicament but her numbers did seem somewhat made up.

The issue I had was £480 per month fire watch fees £1,000 per month management fees, £500 ground rent before I got anywhere near meeting my living costs and I was still paying a retainer to nursery because if I’d found a job I was worried I would have no childcare.

I did also notice that she would misspell 'you are' as 'your' which did surprise me given her posts were quite eloquent, and she appeared to have decent literacy skills. Perhaps a deliberate ploy to throw people off the scent?

saiditbetterthanme · 02/12/2020 15:16

Beautifully written. OP obviously had too much time in their hands. I read the whole thread. I think some of the advice is excellent and shouldn't ge written off. It's wonderful that so many people can show compassion a kindness to a stranger.

Delatron · 02/12/2020 15:20

I’m glad that the poor Step Mum wasn’t subjected to all those years of bad behaviour to be honest!
Though I was sympathetic to the OP!

AnneLovesGilbert · 02/12/2020 15:23

Glad it wasn’t just me suspecting it was a load of total hog wash once your messages apparently started flowing in. Shame some people were so drawn in. And appalling though typical to see the floods of “awww, we all make mistakes” in response to someone outlining tales of such complete malice by a woman in her 30s to her long suffering step mum. As a step child, this character was always going to be considered an innocent victim rather than a nasty piece of work.

Thought provoking and revealing in many ways OP, good job. No idea what your real angle is. I had to google flowers in the attic as I’d never heard of it and felt sick to my stomach. You’ve got quite the imagination.

LadyFelsham · 02/12/2020 15:35

I think the step mum would have welcomed her back but when they were on their own, vowed to get revenge and no-would believe OP, thinking she was up to her old tricks!

She then would have rushed back to her partner, wronged and barefoot and he would have put her up in his parents Air and B, before realising she was a reformed woman, dump his boat dwelling new girlfriend and hasten back to her.

Her mother would fall on her Nordic Walking, break her neck and leave her daughter her house, as an apology for being the cause of it all.

LimitIsUp · 02/12/2020 15:52

I'm not deeply invested in this thread - I've only just read it (and just the OP's posts) until the point that it was announced that it was the work of a troll.

Wasn't obvious to me. Blush at my gullibility. Usually I can sniff them out at twenty paces!

CarrieMoonbeams · 02/12/2020 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Smallgoon · 02/12/2020 16:19

So do you wonder if these trolls find it hilarious when they're found out and just sit back laughing, or do you think there is genuine embarrassment that they were unable to keep up the facade?

SleepingStandingUp · 02/12/2020 16:33

@Smallgoon

Be keen to know what tales OP told *@SleepingStandingUp* yesterday, and how they feel about this thread being a work of fiction?

Also be keen to know how MN know for certain this is indeed a work of fiction?

Gah, so annoying when you extend support without knowing you are entertaining a troll.

She messaged me to say she was upset that she'd been accessed by DM of trolling and I advised her to direct them towards MNHQ so at least now everyone can have a good laugh about how stupid I am
SleepingStandingUp · 02/12/2020 16:34

@LadyFelsham

I believed it at first but started to wonder more as the posts went on-all that understanding from a family who could reasonably be expected to have their names sent to the Pope for immediate beatification.

One big hint to me came from a poster who declared that everything was happening so fast, the OP's head must be spinning!

I hope the poster that she said would message privately has not been put through the wringer and is feeling ok.

Just stupid
SleepingStandingUp · 02/12/2020 16:39

Thanks for not taking it down immediately MNHQ. I feel like an idiot and quite upset but at least I didn't just log onto a deletion message

TheFairyCaravan · 02/12/2020 16:47

It was obvious it was a troll from the post where they said they made a big speech about her stepmother being horrible on the day they left.

It never ceases to amaze me just how many people fall for utter bullshit.

CarrieMoonbeams · 02/12/2020 16:56

You've no reason to feel stupid, SleepingStandingUp. You were generous with your time, and supportive. I felt that the world was a wee bit nicer after seeing the time and care that you and others put in. I never spot trolls anyway, so if I'd had anything useful to add I'd have posted too.

I absolutely hate trolls for exactly this kind of thing. Do you remember a few years ago, people who used to play practical jokes on strangers and then film their reactions? One that stuck in the my mind was a "prankster" (aka wanker) who was pretending to be a young woman, hunched over, sobbing on a bench. When people approached "her" to help, she lifted her head and had the most terrifying mask on. I'm sure it made loads of people feel slightly less likely to help a stranger in case the same thing happened to them.

OP, I hope you're able to read this, and I hope you're ashamed.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2020 16:58

She messaged me to say she was upset that she'd been accessed by DM of trolling and I advised her to direct them towards MNHQ so at least now everyone can have a good laugh about how stupid I am

No way is anyone laughing at you @SleepingStandingUp

You gave excellent advice. I know this time was a troll, but as someone said upthread, it shows how decent MN can be to posters in times of trouble.

Sorry this troll tried to get their claws even further into you via DM. 💐

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2020 17:01

@SleepingStandingUp

Thanks for not taking it down immediately MNHQ. I feel like an idiot and quite upset but at least I didn't just log onto a deletion message
I can imagine that you might feel that way Sleeping. But please don't.

Without decent posters like you, there would be no positive elements of support, good advice & listening, that MN provides.

I'd rather believe in the posters even if it means risking scenarios like this.

I think you're a good person trying to help & I'm very sorry you're upset ❤️

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2020 17:04

It never ceases to amaze me just how many people fall for utter bullshit.

That's really not fair @TheFairyCaravan

There have been many posts where I've thought 'troll', sometimes I've reported. Often they are left up.

The truth about life is that strange & bizarre situations do happen. I don't think it needs to be mocked, that people show compassion to a poster writing about what a mess her life is, and understandable people might not see it as invented.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/12/2020 17:05

Sorry this part of my post should have been in bold - I was quoting from Sleeping

She messaged me to say she was upset that she'd been accessed by DM of trolling and I advised her to direct them towards MNHQ so at least now everyone can have a good laugh about how stupid I am

LadyFelsham · 02/12/2020 17:10

@SleepingStandingUp

You are not stupid. If this thread stays up, many others will benefit from your advice so you have done some good.

Lots of us believed it-we're not stupid either!