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Original poster

Man taking 7-8 year old daughter into women's changing room

276 replies

bythere · 18/11/2020 23:47

I was reading a reddit thread from the other month about a man at a martial arts studio taking his around 7-8 year old daughter into the women's locker room despite being told several times not to due to making women and girls uncomfortable. If anything, at that age she should be be fine in the woman's room by herself, although, he can maybe still take her into the men's room if necessary.

Has anyone ever had a man come into the women's locker room while you were there with a young daughter? Did you say or do anything if it happened?

OP posts:
GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 22:11

@Sn0tnose

I find it disgusting that children's feelings, safety and sensitivities are dismissed and ignored if they come into conflict with women's discomfort. It's not a competition you have automatically won. Children are actually more important.

Yeah Glummy, you’re being really mean. Never mind the women and girls who won’t be able to use the toilet at all if there’s a man in there due to religious or cultural reasons. Or the women and girls whose safety will be at risk in the ladies because we’ve made it a free for all. Or any of us pesky feminist types who believe in single sex spaces. Sod them. They aren’t important. The only important thing is that we don’t cause any inconvenience for Dave by expecting him to find out where there’s a suitable unisex toilet or family facility before he takes his child out for the day. Remember, telling men ‘no’ is not being kind!

Yes!!

And don't forget - if Dave has a son and not a daughter it isn't an issue because all the bogeymen and traumatising images that lurk in the men's are utterly resistant to the eyes and ears of little boys

Incrediblytired · 19/11/2020 22:13

This whole thread focuses on adult women’s rights.

Nothing on young girls rights, do they not have rights?

It’s not misogynistic for men to feel protective of their daughters emotional safety and comfort. That isn’t the definition of misogyny.

Every example given here is of a man feeling really awkward but trying to do the right thing by his daughter in a situation which frankly, is Sophie’s Choice.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 22:14

According to some posters on here we only protect littles girls until the6 are able to go to the loo by themselves...so not 18 at all

Good point - @96315id if you cate so much about kids, my 8yo goes to the loo alone. Aren't her feelings when a strange man comes into her facility important? It's worse for her as I'm not there to reassure her or protect (though I'd be outside the door or near the door and would promptly drag him out)

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 22:15

Nothing on young girls rights, do they not have rights?

Tell me what rights are young girls losing if their dad takes them to the men's toilets?

They would be losing their rights to safety if they are 8+ so alone on the loo and a strange man comes in. So yes, if men kept out of women's toilets, they would retain their right to safety.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 19/11/2020 22:16

Nothing on young girls rights, do they not have rights?

Yes

My young girl has the right to go to the toilet without a man in there

Highfalutinlootin · 19/11/2020 22:18

@GlummyMcGlummerson

Oh and if you can't see the sexism behind "men are too disgusting to keep their own facilities clean so they can just use the ladies if they want to take their child into a nice toilet" then I can't help you.
This. Why can't men stop being filthy and take more responsibility for their children? If more men took their kids into the men's room, perhaps more men would realize they need to stop behaving like savages and keep it clean.
Coffeeandcocopops · 19/11/2020 22:21

@RufustheSniggeringReindeer

Nothing on young girls rights, do they not have rights?

Yes

My young girl has the right to go to the toilet without a man in there

Exactly. Very young girls rights are protected by their parents but as they get older, the law needs to protect them. So an 8 year old in the ladies toilet has the right to feel safe and not have to put up with Nigel, my brother, or infact any dad / male going into the ladies toilet. Let’s protect all girls And women and keep their toilets safe places.
strollingdown · 19/11/2020 22:23

It's simple, adult men should stay out of the women's room and adult women should stay out of the men's room.

I have a 3 year old DD and DH always takes her into the men's room since he would never as an adult infringe on the privacy of women and girls in the women's room. He's just told her that men and boys stand when they use the potty and she accepts that. Far easier to explain that to an innocent child than for a man to explain himself in the women's.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 22:26

@RufustheSniggeringReindeer

Nothing on young girls rights, do they not have rights?

Yes

My young girl has the right to go to the toilet without a man in there

So does mine - I don't want her using the toilet alone, as she is old enough, and to have a man barge in because Princess can't be exposed to backs and a bit of a bad smell
gottakeeponmovin · 19/11/2020 22:27

I'm amazed this is even a question. No decent man would go into the ladies toilet

Incrediblytired · 19/11/2020 22:39

So your 8 year old girl has the right to go to the women’s toilet without a man there but a five year old girl has to use the men’s?

Coffeeandcocopops · 19/11/2020 22:42

@Incrediblytired

So your 8 year old girl has the right to go to the women’s toilet without a man there but a five year old girl has to use the men’s?
Not sure what you mean? A five year old girl can use the ladies toilet? However if she is with her dad and cannot go to the ladies on her own then yes she goes to the men’s with her dad. What is wrong with that? That’s what dads and girls have been doing for many many years. It’s only now it seems to be a problem. Are you saying it’s not safe for a young girl to be in the men’s toilet with their dad?
GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 22:44

@Incrediblytired

So your 8 year old girl has the right to go to the women’s toilet without a man there but a five year old girl has to use the men’s?
The 5yo's dad is with her. She is safe as can be. My 8yo would have no one there. Can you really not see the difference? One has a parent to reassure and protect them, the other doesn't.

Unless you think "men can go into women's loos with their young daughters - until my daughter hits 8 in which case they must all immediately stop

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 22:46

I really want to know the answer as to what to do when a man has a child of each sex. I know there was a ludicrous answer about "the older child chooses" but let's face it that was a rather embarrassing attempt at trying to stay consistent with her point.

Why are boys completely safe with their dads in the gents, yet little girls in the men's toilets with their dads poses a guaranteed risk?

Whatwouldscullydo · 19/11/2020 22:46

So your 8 year old girl has the right to go to the women’s toilet without a man there but a five year old girl has to use the men’s?

If there's a men in the womens then it's no longer the womens and your kid is in the same boat in any toilet...

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 22:49

I suspect the poor little girls who have an issue of fear of men's toilets are that way because a big fuss has been made that Men's Toilets Are Bad. If your Nigels just take her in without even mentioning that it's a man's toilet or there's no women in - literally go in with dad, do your business, leave with dad - they'll scarcely notice who is and isn't in the loo with them.

Women are different - they notice, because rights of MonF violence is so shockingly high they have a right to be scared. and they have a right to single sex spaces, that women before them fought for.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 22:50

@Whatwouldscullydo

So your 8 year old girl has the right to go to the women’s toilet without a man there but a five year old girl has to use the men’s?

If there's a men in the womens then it's no longer the womens and your kid is in the same boat in any toilet...

Except the 8yo is in the same boat but without the reassurance of a parent there to protect her.
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 19/11/2020 22:50

The 5yo has the right to use the woman's. The father doesn't. So either she goes in the woman's alone (which the majority wouldn't), or goes in the men's with her father. In a couple of years she will be the 8yo needing a woman's only space.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 19/11/2020 22:52

Except the 8yo is in the same boat but without the reassurance of a parent there to protect her

Yep

Cos i sent her to the ladies bogs not realising that men would be in there...

Incrediblytired · 19/11/2020 22:54

Why are 8 year olds in public toilets alone again? Seems odd. Neglectful.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 19/11/2020 22:54

I appreciate that asking husbands is a bit of a twat act on here

But i did ask dh what he’d do with a 6 year old dd (shes much older)

And apparently it would be the ladies by herself or the gents with him

He looked at me like id shat myself when I offered the option that he go in the ladies with her

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 19/11/2020 22:55

@Incrediblytired

Why are 8 year olds in public toilets alone again? Seems odd. Neglectful.
Oh mate 😀😀😀😀😀
GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 23:00

@Incrediblytired

Why are 8 year olds in public toilets alone again? Seems odd. Neglectful.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I always think when people resort to passive aggressive little digs it's because they've realised they've lost the fight and are trying to save face

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 23:01

@RufustheSniggeringReindeer

I appreciate that asking husbands is a bit of a twat act on here

But i did ask dh what he’d do with a 6 year old dd (shes much older)

And apparently it would be the ladies by herself or the gents with him

He looked at me like id shat myself when I offered the option that he go in the ladies with her

Lol. Respect, MrRufus Grin
RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 19/11/2020 23:02

glummy 😀