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Original poster

Man taking 7-8 year old daughter into women's changing room

276 replies

bythere · 18/11/2020 23:47

I was reading a reddit thread from the other month about a man at a martial arts studio taking his around 7-8 year old daughter into the women's locker room despite being told several times not to due to making women and girls uncomfortable. If anything, at that age she should be be fine in the woman's room by herself, although, he can maybe still take her into the men's room if necessary.

Has anyone ever had a man come into the women's locker room while you were there with a young daughter? Did you say or do anything if it happened?

OP posts:
Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:04

Grumpy, they should go to the toilets the oldest child feels comfortable in. I think we're not talking about the same age though. I think that after 7 y.o a child can go alone. Isn't that what they do at school?
So if the oldest is let's say a 6 yo girl and the youngest is 3, if the 6 yo feels more comfortable in the women's they should go there. 5-6-7 is usually the age they have very strong opinions and it's unfair to force them to do something else. Younger than that, even if they saw something they probably wouldn't realise. But babies shouldn't be changed on the floor ffs, just take them to the car or keep a big changing mat and do it by the sink or somewhere you have space if it's so forbidden to go to the ladies.

Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:07

GOD GLUMMY I'm sorry (I'll never hear the end of this)

HotSince63 · 19/11/2020 21:09

So the comfort of the child who is with the dad takes priority, they get to dictate which toilet they use.

Not the comfort of the 5-6-7 year old girl or indeed any women in the womens toilet with her mum, who no longer feels comfortable when a man walks in.

Yeah ok then Confused.

TeatimeAtCloppa · 19/11/2020 21:12

@Nina9406

GOD GLUMMY I'm sorry (I'll never hear the end of this)

You are horrible. Can you just STOP?

TeatimeAtCloppa · 19/11/2020 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 21:16

@Nina9406

GOD GLUMMY I'm sorry (I'll never hear the end of this)
Oh no, some misogynist online doesn't like what I have to say waaaaaaaah!!! I wait, I don't care.

No attempt to answer which toilet men should go to with a boy and a girl in tow? No. What a surprise. the cognitive dissonance is strong in this one.

Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:17

No I swear it was a mistake, we were watching snow white.
And I was born a female, I have a kid. Is that the best you can come up with though? I don't agree with you so I must be a man? Or is it because I asked about trans women?

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 21:17

@HotSince63

So the comfort of the child who is with the dad takes priority, they get to dictate which toilet they use.

Not the comfort of the 5-6-7 year old girl or indeed any women in the womens toilet with her mum, who no longer feels comfortable when a man walks in.

Yeah ok then Confused.

It's ridiculous isn't it, I love how it's in the name of the children, their darling daughter who must be shielded from pedos and penises - until that is she reaches 18 then fuck her she doesn't need a safe space from men.
Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:18

I literally just answered that, the toilet the oldest of the kids prefers?

Whatwouldscullydo · 19/11/2020 21:19

4 year old twins? One boy one girl with their dad?

MrsJunglelow · 19/11/2020 21:19

glummy I wouldn't be 100% sure darling Nina was a born female. Thanks for fighting the good fight.xxx
Shock
Omg, am I missing something here?
Because i haven’t read the whole thread and unless nina has been making comments prior that is a really fucking awful thing to say.
I’m a born female.
And I consider myself a feminist.

Not agreeing that men with young female children should be banned from ladies toilets doesn’t make you any less of a real woman.
What a hideous, offensive thing to say.

Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:22

Men's. Too young to chose. We do remember the op was for a 7-8 year old girl right?

Whatwouldscullydo · 19/11/2020 21:23

Ok then 7 year old twins ?

Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:23

@MrsJunglelow thank you. Its like, since I don't agree with them I can't be a woman?

BungleandGeorge · 19/11/2020 21:24

Many’s pre-teens/ teens would be mortified to have a man in the ladies, their comfort and safety is the most important as they may well be there without a parent. I honestly don’t think I know any men who would think it’s ok to go in there. My Dad just used to pick me up so there was no chance of seeing anything in the men’s, it’s not difficult. Or just pre-plan and use an individual loo, there’s plenty these days

Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:26

You ask them where they feel comfortable. If they don't agree you ask if one of them wants to go alone. I think at 7 yo they wouldn't want to share so either they use the disability toilets (really fast to not block them for people who need them) or one goes alone, or they go to the one they both agreed on

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 21:27

@Nina9406

I literally just answered that, the toilet the oldest of the kids prefers?
You didn't, but ok.

So if there's a boy and a girl, boy is oldest by a year and wants to use the men's you'd be happy in that instance a girl being made so very uncomfortable as you claim?

How about this - they go in the toilet of the sex of the oldest person there? Like everyone else?

Whatwouldscullydo · 19/11/2020 21:28

So now u advocate the disabled loo...Angry

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 21:30

@Nina9406

You ask them where they feel comfortable. If they don't agree you ask if one of them wants to go alone. I think at 7 yo they wouldn't want to share so either they use the disability toilets (really fast to not block them for people who need them) or one goes alone, or they go to the one they both agreed on
This is complicated and ridiculous AF not to mention pandering to a ridiculous degree. Just ago it the toilet that corresponds with your parent or carer's sex, little girls will live to tell the tale I promise.

Although given how little men are trusted by some posters I'm surprised they slow men to be around their little girls at all!

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 21:31

Come on @Whatwouldscullydo we all know that women and disabled people don't really have rights, especially if men are uncomfortable

Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:32

If there's no choice, obviously it's not ideal if the girl is at an age where she feels uncomfortable, if there are no disability toilets, and if the oldest can't go alone then yes.

And before I get flamed for this. All places should have a small toilet on its own for situations like this. Since there are not, as long as you're fast and don't cause problems to the ones that need them, disability toilets are the safest bet

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/11/2020 21:34

But the point of raising children isn't to pander to their every fear and confirm, in saying "no you don't have to go in there" that there's something to be scared of. That her dad can't protect her in simple tasks like going to the loo. If your child has that little confidence in their parent then you have a bigger problem than which toilet to use.

Whatwouldscullydo · 19/11/2020 21:35

How do you know you don't cause problems ?
You think its ok to use the 1 toilet, the only one disabled people can use, to avoid doing what everyone else does. Why are you so special ?

Nina9406 · 19/11/2020 21:40

How is a kid taking two minutes to wee, with a parent either inside to help them or outside the door, and if someone who needs it comes they have to wait for a minute, such a big problem?
I get it if they have to wait for a while, but If the parent is being sensible they won't.

And its not about pandering, showing kids that they have a choice and their opinion matters just makes them more confident in saying no.

Whatwouldscullydo · 19/11/2020 21:42

But you don't have a choice of which loo to use Confused

And "being sensible" doesn't stop any sudden needs to do more than weenajd take extra time...

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