Man taking 7-8 year old daughter into women's changing room

[bythere]

I was reading a reddit thread from the other month about a man at a martial arts studio taking his around 7-8 year old daughter into the women's locker room despite being told several times not to due to making women and girls uncomfortable. If anything, at that age she should be be fine in the woman's room by herself, although, he can maybe still take her into the men's room if necessary.

Has anyone ever had a man come into the women's locker room while you were there with a young daughter? Did you say or do anything if it happened?

@Nina9406

And since we are talking about little girls. What if the actual child didn't want to go the men's. Would she have to be forced? Isn't that worse than you getting inconvenienced?

I'd be addressing why that fear was because you wouldn't see a little boy scared to go into the ladies.

It is never ok for men to barge into women-only facilities

I'd it money on 99% of the men who do this getting off on the boundary violation. (Not necessarily sexually, though some will of course; I suspect simply having found a pretext to bully women will be what does it for many).

This, with bells on. And yet there's women queueing to lander and simper to men and hand over their rights because iTs FOr tHe KiDS

I care about women who are women, not just the ones who "look and dress" like women

I'll add the - no one cares about lesbians in the toilets. They are wonen and behave like woman . We just don't want males regardless of sexuality or presentation....

Yes @Whatwouldscullydo It's the man part (literally) not the sexual orientation or gender identity part

Who's hateful.

Sex segregation is lawful and an accepted social norm in certain circumstances.

Men don't want wonen in their spaces either do you consider them hateful?

I think if you're arguing that men should change a baby's nappy on a public toilet floor rather than use the baby changing facilities than you're the one with the problem, not me.

My local swimming pool and gym has two small communal changing rooms, one for each sex, womens have a toilet cubicle in the far corner, I assume the mens are the same. Full nudity, whilst fleeting as everyone is trying to get changed as quick as possible, is usually encountered when you enter. Anyone trying to say that men have a right to enter if they have a daughter with them can get to fuck. I imagine a lot of screaming would ensue along with some very angry women. But people are trying to say that the man has a right to be there 🤷‍♀️

@Whatwouldscullydo

Who's hateful.

Sex segregation is lawful and an accepted social norm in certain circumstances.

Men don't want wonen in their spaces either do you consider them hateful?

Short answer yes. Long answer, I hold them at the same standards. Mum with little boy who doesn't want to go to the ladies? Trans men? Should be able to go to the men's.

So basically anyone who doesn't consent to seeing members of the opposite sex in a state of undress while they are also in a state if undress or vulnerability is hateful?

Men don't consent to that and neither do women.

Its called respecting boundaries those who don't are the very peole who shouldn't be there

The only explanation I can give for my double standards over loos is the difference between men's public loos and women's. In women's all weeing is done in private, while men wee in front of each other. As an adult woman I wouldn't want to be in there while they wee, so I don't see why small girls need to be. I know it's probably ridiculous, but it's the best I can come up with for why I feel the way I do.

@Nina9406

Glummy, with all due respect.

You only see what you want to see.
I'm sorry society made you so hateful (not passive aggressive I swear).
But being constantly on the offence doesn't leave much room for discussion.
I'm sorry that you see an enemy in every man and that you disregard trans women based on their genitals.
You don't fight for women, you fight for cishet women like you.
It must be difficult not being able to let go of this anger and complaint.
Right now anything I say you just use it to make this a bigger deal that it is and I won't entertain this I'm sorry.

Awful, gaslighting passive aggression.

@knittingaddict

The only explanation I can give for my double standards over loos is the difference between men's public loos and women's. In women's all weeing is done in private, while men wee in front of each other. As an adult woman I wouldn't want to be in there while they wee, so I don't see why small girls need to be. I know it's probably ridiculous, but it's the best I can come up with for why I feel the way I do.

Do you also avoid walking in the street, as after all you would also be seeing the back of clothed men.

Anyone over the age of, lets say, about 10, who has a penis should not be in a women's toilet or women's changing room, no matter how they wish to dress up the reason for being in there.

96315id what was there to consider? Why would it be so awful for her to go into the men's toilets?

Indeed. What is there to consider about women generally? You do like to pick and choose who is worthy of thought.

All the people saying men’s toilets are gross have you not looked at women’s toilets? Public toilets are pretty gross in general.
I’ve been in toilets where there wasn’t one cubicle that didn’t either have wee all over the seat or tissue half draped in the bowl and over the seat so there was damp tissue everywhere. One toilet I refused to use had blood everywhere.
On the question of which toilet should a girl and her father use, my dad would take me into the gents unless there was a woman with him/in the group that he trusted. It hasn’t left me scarred. The time I walked into a “gender neutral” toilet with urinals did though. You can’t see anything, it was more the shock.

@HotSince63

Anyone over the age of, lets say, about 10, who has a penis should not be in a women's toilet or women's changing room, no matter how they wish to dress up the reason for being in there.

I think 10 is still quite young to be alone in a changing room. This is from experience, i would often be alone in the changing room for swimming due to gendered changing rooms, I never felt comfortable and adults aren’t always nice to other people’s children in fact some are downright horrible. In an open changing room when your body is changing isn’t nice, you feel everyone is staring and want some privacy regardless gender. I think there should be family changing cubicles.

On the question of which toilet should a girl and her father use, my dad would take me into the gents unless there was a woman with him/in the group that he trusted

I dont see why its so hard to figure that out. What do they do when 2 gay guys or two lesbians adopt a child?

They don't stay housebound til the baby is 20 years old.

This is something that parents have had to do since forever. That and plan every trip in what facilities are available and working round them.

Least with kids its over pretty quick. A couple of ropey years between say 8 and 10 where a bit more problem solving is possibly required.

Unlike of course disabled people who's entire life is dictated by whether or not theres a toilet available.

Do you also avoid walking in the street, as after all you would also be seeing the back of clothed men.

No, why would I?

Don't assume from one minor quirk that I'm a man hating prude. I'm not.

Also if that's the best response you've got then it's no more sophisticated that my reply to this thread. Just find urinals weird. Had to clean one once and still find them weird.

I've honestly got no skin in this game. If the majority don't want men taking their daughter's into women's loos then that's perfectly fine. It doesn't bother me either way and on one needs my permission to feel strongly about this.

@knittingaddict

Do you also avoid walking in the street, as after all you would also be seeing the back of clothed men.

No, why would I?

Don't assume from one minor quirk that I'm a man hating prude. I'm not.

Also if that's the best response you've got then it's no more sophisticated that my reply to this thread. Just find urinals weird. Had to clean one once and still find them weird.

I've honestly got no skin in this game. If the majority don't want men taking their daughter's into women's loos then that's perfectly fine. It doesn't bother me either way and on one needs my permission to feel strongly about this.

You do realise thats exactly what you would see when someone is using a urinal, unless you actively choose to stand very close and look over the sides of the urinal.

@96315id

96315id what was there to consider? Why would it be so awful for her to go into the men's toilets?

Indeed. What is there to consider about women generally? You do like to pick and choose who is worthy of thought.



You what?!

That's not an answer to the question, and it makes no sense.

@Nina9406 I will reply to your post later when I've finished marking!

The policy at our gym is children can go into opposite sex changing room until they are 8, so the man should have taken her into the men's changing room. I would have thought that age was old enough to go in by yourself anyway - my son was very tall for his age so he went to the mens changing room on his own from age 6, or we used the family changing room (as I thought some women would think he was much older and feel uncomfortable). This is for swimming so people could be naked, though most used a cubicle.

I should say that one of the reasons I have a problem with this is our local swimming pool has open plan single sex changing rooms. I was in there a couple of years ago, toweling down after a shower, when a woman arrived with her 3 sons. Now one I had no problem with - obviously had special needs and needed a great deal of assistance, and frankly I doubt would have registered me. But the other two (one of whom's voice had broken, FFS) stood around pointing and laughing as I pulled my towel round myself as quickly as possible and wondered how the fuck I was going to get my clothes on.

Yes I ranted at her. Yes, she fucking deserved it. Both of them were plenty old enough (by at least 5 years, I'd say) to go in the men's. I'm a single parent, and my DS has been using the men's since the age of 7, according to the rules of our local pool.

Stop fucking defending men doing the indefensible.

And stop with the crap analogies about "do you get upset seeing fully clothed men walking down the street?"

And stop with the fucking dick pandering.

want baby changing facilities in men's toilets, or unisex toilets so they don't feel likes pervs when taking their kids to the loo, they should fight for it. You know, a bit like how women have fought for their own facilities for centuries (it certainly wasn't men leading the way for our rights

Yep...

@GlummyMcGlummerson

And still waiting for the answer for where should a dad with a young girl and boy fake them to the toilet?

The men's surely, just as a mom should take a young girl and boy into the women's room. The important thing is the adult stays out of the opposite gender space.