Man taking 7-8 year old daughter into women's changing room

[bythere]

I was reading a reddit thread from the other month about a man at a martial arts studio taking his around 7-8 year old daughter into the women's locker room despite being told several times not to due to making women and girls uncomfortable. If anything, at that age she should be be fine in the woman's room by herself, although, he can maybe still take her into the men's room if necessary.

Has anyone ever had a man come into the women's locker room while you were there with a young daughter? Did you say or do anything if it happened?

So what do you think happens when you teach your 10 11 12 year olds that women and girls don't matter and rules don't apply to them?

You don't think that will see them potentially being that 40 year old whos expecting wonen me girls to suck it up as he marches in with his dd?

What do you think these messages lead to?

If you don't want to have to deal with it go somewhere that has family facilities...

What happens between say 10 akd 12 that means that they are suddenly safer ?

How long do you intend to send them to the womens?

I didn't say it was a womans job I said it was down to the parents to teach their sons to be decent human beings . Do you think men will sort themselves out if women just bail them out at every opportunity by forcing their dds to deal with puberty infront of their male class mates ..

Do some people on this thread realise they're essentially saying "we can't send our boys into the changing rooms alone because men are pervs and they may be touched up - so let's let the pervy men into the ladies!"

I'm still waiting on an answer as to why little girls are too delicate to go on the men's smelly toilets but little boys aren't.

And still waiting for the answer for where should a dad with a young girl and boy fake them to the toilet?

I wonder why I'm not getting an answer

I've challenged a man in the swimming pool changing rooms before. It was swimming lessons so I was there with the DDs but not getting changed myself. He was there with a woman and a young girl. He was not happy about being asked to leave but there was no reason for him to be there at all, the woman was looking after the child.

Aaah but men are pervs when it comes to sending their sons to the mens. But as soon as women start saying no to men and boys being in their spaces suddenly everyones husband is lovely wouldn't hurt a fly and NAMALT..

I posted on here a while ago because a lady was going into the boys changing room after swimming (boys aged around 9/10) to help her son get changed because according to her “otherwise we would be here all day”. DS was uncomfortable with it and the general consensus on here was she shouldn’t be doing it.

I hate this with a passion. The child goes into the changing room matching the parents’ sex, if they’re too old to do that or don’t want to then they go into their sex changing room and get ready alone.

I don’t understand why there aren’t just individual cubicles all along. Would make life so much easier. I hate open changing rooms.

@Whatwouldscullydo

Aaah but men are pervs when it comes to sending their sons to the mens. But as soon as women start saying no to men and boys being in their spaces suddenly everyones husband is lovely wouldn't hurt a fly and NAMALT..

Yes exactly!

Why don't we just have a "women and girls: know your place" placard for these places

Especially since women are frantically now searching fir the last remaining private spaces to have a few mins out from the lifetime of harassment etc

And people have a nerve to complain about what is effectively a relatively short window between being too old for the womens and maybe a bit to young fir the mens solo. I mean there are ways around that short window That wouldn't override the boundries and teach the next generation of men that women and girls dont matter , but instead of dealing with this short window the answer is to permanently remove that safe space for women and girls..

glumly I’m teaching a full day on zoom, sorry not to leap to respond to your neck and call

I suspect most little girls can accompany their fathers to the men's without traumatic incident.

However, a proportion of little girls are already traumatised, thanks to the actions of sexually predatory men in their lives. For the sake of those little girls, an option that is not the men's is essential.

Fathers taking daughters into the ladies' facilities isn't a viable alternative.

If there's no unisex/family option, kick up a stink about it or go somewhere else is, unfortunately, what we're faced with.

DD's father navigated the problem by using baby-changing facilities until she could toilet herself, then lurking outside trying to signal "not dodgy, just waiting for my daughter" as hard as he could. Because he recognises that he very justifiably isn't allowed in, and trusts that a) she'll be safe with other women on hand and b) that safety is undermined by the acceptance of any adult male in there.

@notafanoftheman

glumly I’m teaching a full day on zoom, sorry not to leap to respond to your neck and call

It wasn't actually aimed at you - it was a different poster I originally asked

Several times at my kids swimming lessons. Usually men with English not as a first language. The staff are quick to Chuck them out once they know they're in there

Pretty sure it was. But anyway whoever it was they will be working just like I am.

*may well

Remember years ago, when we never talked about paedophiles, taking my DD6 to a small dance class. There was a small room to use for changing (only girls in the class). Walked in one day and a dad was there with his own DD6, but there was also a very embarrassed and well developed young teenage girl desperately trying to get changed in front of him. He must have been aware she was embarrassed, he was looking straight at her, a couple of feet away. Shamefully I was nowhere as gobby then as I am now, so said nowt.

I knew the man and his family, they were well off high profile types. He committed suicide a few years later, ostensibly because the tax man was after him, but I’ve always wondered if there were other sins about to find him out.

I wouldn't have a problem with a man taking his daughter in to the women's loos, but maybe I'm missing the point. It's not like you see anything in women's loos that is too personal, as there are cubicles where even disposing of sanitary products takes place. Apart from that it's just communal washing of hands.

One of the restaurants I go to has a huge room with men's cubicles down one side and women's on the other with wash basins between them. Perhaps that would work more widely or family loos?

Should have said, I was addressing the person who had an issue with Pizza Express loos. Do restaurant loos have urinals or just normal loos in compartments like women's do. This makes a difference obviously. Will have to ask my husband as it never crossed my mind to find out before.

Besides religious women?
Those with buggies who may have the door ajar?

Those with small children who could open thise locks at any given moment?

Those young girls who just got their first period in a public toilet and may need help?

Those who are hiding out from the creepy guy at the bar?

As a man I would consider it totally inappropriate to take a child into the ladies loos or changing rooms. Either the child is young enough that it doesn't matter them being in the 'wrong' facilities or old enough that they can go in by themselves.

Also there are clearly some bizarrely incorrect opinions on what happens in the mens room, there is no 'row of cocks' to be seeing, in fact you won't see anything unless you make a concerted effort to do so which is not acceptable. It's not some bizzare fantasy room with men dancing around in a lake of piss swinging their knobs about, it's just a bog like any other.

Those with buggies who may have the door ajar?

Those with small children who could open thise locks at any given moment?

Those young girls who just got their first period in a public toilet and may need help?

But those things could happen with men taking their daughters into the men's loos. Thereby having an audience of random men. I know which I would prefer to happen. It's rare to have men using the women's loos with their daughter's and I would have thought the chances of the things you mention happening at the same time are very rare.

It's just my view though and I don't expect other's to share it.

Yes they could but then men would see other men - thats different to a man seeing a woman.

A 10 yr old girl would be in the womens surely?

Wouldn't they see the daughter though? That's what I meant. I couldn't care less about men seeing men, as they obviously do in men's loos.

Well if the dd is alone In the cubicle the dad is probably stood outside . I always told dd not to lock the door id hold it.

The problem with the lock scenario was more when I needed the loo but the dds were too small to leave stood outside . In which case they woukd stand inside akd face the door.

Of the dd needs help as she's small there's an adult between the door and the child