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Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

464 replies

WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 12:29

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week Grin

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

OP posts:
WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 20:10

@Littleposh

Only popping back to see if we're up to ???? yet ??!!
@Littleposh no! Not a peep since this afternoon. I'm sorely disappointed in his commitment to being a duck head.
OP posts:
WankPuffins · 16/11/2020 20:11

Obviously I meant dickhead 😂

OP posts:
TheNationsFavourite · 16/11/2020 20:14

My DC are all in their 20's. Been divorced 15 years. He paid regularly but the minimum required.

Had an email very recently detailing money I apparently owe him from 2013 re university.

I haven't replied despite reminders because I really don't know where to start.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

TJF2020 · 16/11/2020 20:20

Honestly I had one of these 'dads' growing up, did nothing for me, paid the bare minimum or nothing at all as he couldn't work 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ expected me to still come over and see him and treat him like gods gift. When he found out I was going to Uni he asked me why would I do that when I could live on someone else money 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ had no connect since then, he recently found out I'm expecting and is demanding that I let him see his grandchild, even though I haven't spoken to him in 8 years let alone seen him in the last 10. My SO hasn't even met him. More makes me laugh that he expects that I should have a relationship with him all of sudden as I'm having a baby 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ politely got told he was a sperm donor and that is it and I didn't want to have contact with him still and never will 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

CressidaTheHeathen · 16/11/2020 20:21

This thread has made my day and I’m amazed how many women have been treated like crap by their exes and still manage to stay lighthearted about it. Not sure I’d have the strength (luckily though my ex has the emotional maturity to understand that respect, compromise, proper coparenting and civility is the best way forward for everyone).

My cousins exDH on the other hand... had an affair because she wouldn’t make him work packed lunches Hmm she was looking after two toddlers FT (one disabled) at the time because he felt being at work was enough so parenting was solely her responsibility...

Tried to get full custody when she remarried a few years later after bribing the children with promises that they’d receive all the maintenance payments as pocket money (just like a PPs dickhead ex I see). Told the judge that she was mentally unstable and an alcoholic... she doesn’t drink and hasn’t suffered from any mental illness in her life!

When that didn’t work he tried again citing domestic violence... she never touched him of course, but he did grab her by the throat once which he clearly conveniently forgot...

The dickhead literally tried to reinvent history. Now the DC are teens they barely see him at all and she is still with her lovely second husband Smile

Franklydear · 16/11/2020 20:31

@Chlo2701 @paintfairy @notyetamumbuttrying

JeNeComprendsPas · 16/11/2020 20:35

This is like those threads about the funniest things your toddlers have tantrummed over but the adult ex edition.
Love the idea of the sitcom in the solicitor's firm dealing with them.
Hats off to all of you going through it. Please send the day countdown to the former Mr Wankpuffin @WankPuffins

CorvusPurpureus · 16/11/2020 20:40

So many seem to have an obsession with clothes too.

The clothes thing kicked off again recently. We live overseas, & pre corona did a couple of 'big clothes shops' annually in the U.K. - we buy anything essential as we go, but imported clothes are £££ & local clothing is not what dc's posh international school friends are wearing.

Ds was apparently 'badly dressed & slovenly' & 'did not have the clothes which I would have bought him, as his father.'

I'm still a bit baffled as to why xh could not have bought ds clothes in the 'as his father' approved list, tbh.

We live in a hot country, dc wear school uniform or they wear swimming costumes, sports clothes or T-shirts/shorts/chinos etc.

I'd bunged 15yo ds a couple of hundred quid to spend on casual gear in the U.K., & he'd mostly hit up Sports Direct for piles of T-shirts, shorts & joggers.

Answer came there none re why ds a) needed formal wear to don in the U.K. when visiting his father & b) why he & I were supposed to anticipate & provide for this.

JeNeComprendsPas · 16/11/2020 20:43

Actually have one to add. My DH hasn't seen hide nor hair of his dad since he was a toddler. Not a penny off him either - his mum worked every hour to keep him and his sibling. His mum recently phoned us bemused that she'd just received a payment for child maintenance...DH is 40. Grin

notsodimwit · 16/11/2020 20:45

These bl@@dy 'men' eh!....I watched my arsehole of a 'father' leave my lovely mam so short on money when I was growing up as he paid little or no maintenance for me 🙁 my mam worked 3 part time jobs to make ends meet! I had to go kicking and screaming when he picked me up as a young child until I got to the age when I was listened to in court...I hate the man! I never went without things thanks to my mam!

PicsInRed · 16/11/2020 20:50

@JeNeComprendsPas

Actually have one to add. My DH hasn't seen hide nor hair of his dad since he was a toddler. Not a penny off him either - his mum worked every hour to keep him and his sibling. His mum recently phoned us bemused that she'd just received a payment for child maintenance...DH is 40. Grin
One CM payment after over 20 years. 😂 Sounds like someone is going though the old rolodex looking for a woman to take care of him in his old age. Pathetic. 😂
AcrossthePond55 · 16/11/2020 21:05

[quote TheFormidableMrsC]@WankPuffins Oh it's OK, that really is a very small snapshot of the last 7 years of my life dealing with this twat who left me...not the other way round...but has behaved like a knobber ever since, bit like yours!

We're in court again on Friday for round 954. He's moving 500+ miles away next year, because OW bought a house in the middle of the Scottish mountains or something so that she could have him all to herself and not have to worry about his annoying son. No doubt we will never see him again. I'll be buying champagne Grin[/quote]
Waves 'hello' to MrsC and SMH at the fact that 'Mr WT' is still a, well, a WT.

As far as buying champagne, I think him moving 500+ miles away is a very good reason to buy really, really good champagne! And maybe end up dancing in the living room.

Other than him, hope life is treating you well.

Sleazeyjet · 16/11/2020 21:13

Oh the clothes. I used to cry about the clothes that disappeared.

RandomMess · 16/11/2020 21:20

Oh @TheFormidableMrsC I do hope he moves far far away, cannot believe that car crash has been going on for 6/7 years!!!

Kolsch · 16/11/2020 22:31

He reminds me of one of my friends ex husband who disappeared back to Canada when their daughter was 12 years old.
Never heard a peep from him, no maintenance, no birthday card, nothing.
Imagine their surprise when they got a solicitors letter stating that her ex wanted custody of their daughter.
Their daughter was by then, a 26 year old married mother.
I can only imagine that dementia had set in and he was stuck in a timewarp. 😂

TheFormidableMrsC · 16/11/2020 22:38

I'm sorry, I feel I've hijacked! It's lovely to see some of the wonderful women who supported me so much when I was going through this shit all those years ago. @RandomMess Hello! It's gone from bad to worse, truly. I need to write a book!

@AcrossthePond55 Hello my lovely! I must sit down and do an e-mail rather than hijack here any longer. I hope you're well x

I have a clothes story too. Indeed they are clothes obsessed! I recall the "early days" post his exit when I was in an absolute state and dragging a screaming toddler around Sainsburys and he called me to have a good old gloat to tell me that he and Nicola her real name were Christmas shopping in John Lewis and spending lots of money on nice Ralph Lauren clothes for DS and they wanted me to know they would be keeping an eye on e-bay so they didn't end up on there (he knew I was skint and didn't have a penny and wanted to rub my nose in it). Honestly, I look back and wonder how I ever go through it and I am sure that is the same for many of us. Some of these men are truly truly evil. I am so glad of my happy life now!

TheFormidableMrsC · 16/11/2020 22:39

@Kolsch

He reminds me of one of my friends ex husband who disappeared back to Canada when their daughter was 12 years old. Never heard a peep from him, no maintenance, no birthday card, nothing. Imagine their surprise when they got a solicitors letter stating that her ex wanted custody of their daughter. Their daughter was by then, a 26 year old married mother. I can only imagine that dementia had set in and he was stuck in a timewarp. 😂
GOOD GOD!!!
RandomMess · 16/11/2020 22:43

Oh MrsC I've read a few threads of yours about your Narcissistic Ex and Nicole and the various court cases.

The plus side is that Nicole is still stuck with him and you have escaped to normality!!!

redkenso · 16/11/2020 22:44

I was threatened with court action because my ex didn't agree with me taking his DC out of the country in case I decided not to return. Said DC was 17.

Bestbigsister · 16/11/2020 22:46

This thread is headed for Classics.

BloomedAgain · 16/11/2020 22:50

@WankPuffins hope you block exH on your son's 18th birthday! A double celebration.

AcrossthePond55 · 16/11/2020 22:56

@TheFormidableMrsC , I would love to hear from you.

All of these 'crazy Ex' stories remind me of why I didn't 'disobey' my exH and get pregnant even though I badly wanted a child. I thought it because I was so afraid of him. But it reality it was the Hand of a Benevolent God saying "Not so fast. The right time will come!".

It also reminds me of how eager most men are to share 'crazy ExWife' stories with the various women in their lives to get their sympathy and make themselves objects of pity. Women, on the other hand, share them with other women as a source of support for and understanding of each other, to remind us that we are are strong.

Winterwoo · 16/11/2020 23:02

Gosh why are there so many idiots like this. My ex ran off with another woman while I was pregnant, visited the baby a couple of times then stopped coming - he didn’t ask to see him once in nearly a year.

It became apparent that he was telling people that I wouldn’t let him see the baby so in order to maintain the lie he took me to court claiming I was stopping him seeing our son. The judge was not happy at all with her time being wasted with a fabricated case my barrister wiped the floor with him.

He kept trying to say I’d refused mediation, and it had to be pointed out to him repeatedly by the judge that I had told the mediator that we didn’t need mediation as he was welcome to see him he just had to ask. He tried to stop the court case mid session as he decided he wanted to come to an out of court agreement as it wasn’t going his way. That day in court was actually worth the £1000’s it cost me

RandomMess · 16/11/2020 23:19

It seems like so many have huge egos...

I do know of some "psycho" female exes that have achieved parental alienation SadSadSad

TheFormidableMrsC · 16/11/2020 23:24

@RandomMess

It seems like so many have huge egos...

I do know of some "psycho" female exes that have achieved parental alienation SadSadSad

That's almost exactly as I've been described in ex-h's recent court statement. I am sure there are women who do it, of course there are. However, I am very cross with this because the only psycho female who has caused my ex-h to not see DS is OW who banned him from their caravan yes they live in a caravan now the day after I was diagnosed with cancer. So DS hasn't seen his dad since. However, I am the alienating parent. You couldn't make it up Hmm
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