Can I just invite you to have a laugh at my exh? You'll like this.

[WankPuffins]

Received a text this morning telling me that he's going for "full custody" of Ds as I've flouted lockdown rules for the second time that he knows of by having a visitors in the house.

He's contacting a solicitor this afternoon.

I.cannot.Stop.Laughing.

My Ds is 18 next week

Oh god, he's such a twat. I really, really hope he does speak to a solicitor this afternoon about custody of someone who will be an adult in ten days time. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that.

I've had thirteen years of this shit since we separated. He's never let up.

(For those interested, in April he was on the phone to Ds. Ds came to ask me something and he had to wait a second while I finished my conversation. His father heard another woman's voice in the room and reported me to the police for having someone in the house. That woman was my independent midwife over for my 28 week check and blood tests).

This time, he was talking to Ds online, the door went and I shouted to Ds to get it as I was changing the baby. He told his dad he just had to open the door for someone. He went mental again, hence the text. Oh and no one came in this time, it was FIL dropping off a some pain meds for Dh, all socially distanced, he dropped them at the door and said hi to ds from the end of the drive. No rules broken either time).

Wow at 18 maybe your ds will be rid of him also.
What an absolute tosser your ex is op.

He's an absolute fanny and he's going to end up alienating your DS with his twatty behaviour. Thankfully DS is old enough to see what he's like and make up his own mind about contact.

OMG just read your update, what an utter dick! He's angry because you've taken the control away from him. But it was absolutely the right thing to do. I stopped communicating with my ex around two years ago when my daughter was 15. Told him to speak with her directly. Best thing I ever did.

What a twat he is! Hope your DS is ok.

As if he said he's given you enough over the years hahahaha he is one funny guy. He needs the stand up doesnt he! I'm glad you can laugh at this and shared it with us!
Also congratulations on your new baby and your big baby turning 18!!!! Xx

He knows he's lost control of you and can't handle it. Take some deep breaths and block him for a week. On both phones

I’m sorry OP, what a nasty twat he is. Make sure your DS knows he doesn’t have to visit, and that it’s ok to hang up if a phone call becomes abusive

The pathetic, sad little man hasn't got anything to take anywhere.

That's probably why he's so angry. He doesn't control you anymore. And, thanks to his behaviour this evening, he's lost any control over your son, too.

Block him, get new numbers if necessary. Enjoy the peace and your son's birthday with your family.

Where on earth does be think “taking this all the way” will get him? mind boggling.

What a toaster.

Tosser, not toaster!

I know it's all about control and it always has been.

Ds is okay. He's upset the way that his dad has been such a horrible person this evening (the text/phone call was last night, he's obviously been stewing).

My husband is incredibly angry that he called me a cunt and said Ds was thick. He wants to rip into him so it's caused a few arguments today that I won't let him. I know it would just make things worse.

He told Ds today that I was childish for Hanging up. But yes, I've told Ds that sometimes it's the best thing to do when someone is being abusive and he said he knows.

Such a fucking mess. Ds doesn't deserve this.

And "take it all the way". Your guess is as good as mine.

Don't be surprised if DS isn't that invested in making the effort to see his Dad, it really isn't any loss for him to distance himself from a controlling bully just because they are related.

Hi OP,

So sorry to hear about your ex, wouldn't it be lovely if your son decided to go no contact with his dad and you can all block and delete.

Take it all the way.....
Sounds like your requests for weekends and holidays with your dc will be refused once he has full custody!!
Men like him need laughed at op...

I'm not sure I would want to keep any contact with the twat if I was your son.

@TheFormidableMrsC

I am often up near the highlands. If you give me the address I’m sure I could arrange a delivery of individual prawns through their front door 😀

Oh OP, what a wanker he is, thank goodness you already know that.

I would let your DH rip into him tbh if it would make your DH feel better. I mean how could it ‘get worse’ he doesn’t pay, can’t ‘get custody’ of an 18year old and he is an irrelevance.

Which I suspect he’s just realised which is why he ramped up the abuse.

Either block him everywhere or laugh in his face (however hard that is to do in the moment it would be worth it).

The best revenge is life lived well. Your DS has ears and critical thinking skills. He’ll be fine, he has you and your DH.

Well, he's just shown your DS what an absolute shit he is.
That's very sad, but now he's done it, he can't take it back, and you're all a little bit wiser for it.
You were right to rein your DH in, but it's lovely all the same that he wants to defend your DS and you.
Just sit it out for now.

I think that’s worthy of calling the police/a solicitor - whoever (I’m not in the UK) and making a legal complaint. He abused you AND his son who is STILL legally a minor. (Just...)
Might get him to fuck right off.

I'd let your husband rip into him. How can it be any worse? You don't have to have any contact with him. Your son can choose to have contact or not. He doesn't pay you any money. Tell your son he is absolutely free to have contact or not and that you will facilitate visits when he wants, and then step away, block your ex and let him take it all the way as much as he wants

I would be so tempted to text “not sure who’s the thick one bearing in mind you do t seem to understand that DS is 18 and I don’t have to have anything more to do with you”. However that would be inflammatory.

So instead block and carry on with your life. Honestly you’ve become so used to this shit it’s hard to see that you’re honestly now free. As for that matter is your son who can see him when he chooses (or doesn’t).

Also I wouldn’t let DH call him, as he cannot control you through you son any longer he may well try to do by making vexatious complaints against your dh instead. He sounds exactly the type.

This brings back memories of when ExDP and I first broke up. We are 9 years on now, and for the last 7 have co parented beautifully, much like OPs sister.

However (and people who didn't know me back then very rarely believe me when I tell them this now!) the first year was horrendous.

He left for someone younger. And spent the first year living it up with her, behaving like a fucking idiot. Barely saw our young DC (who luckily do not remember this). Telling me I couldn't force him to have DC, that he works all week don't I know and needs to rest at weekends.

The final straw was him refusing to pay child support one month "because I'm taking OW on holiday and need the money" Riiiiight.

Anyway, ExMIL turned up at my door 8 weeks later, very upset. ExDP hadn't seen the DC during this time. Turns out he'd spun her the "she won't let me see DC" line. Well, sort of. What I'd said was that I'd tolerated a year of him only wanting the DC every other Sunday afternoon for 4 hours, and he hardly ever turned up for that, and that if he couldn't stick to a routine then he could fuck right off.

I showed her all the emails. All the texts.

She. Lost. Her. Shit.

ExDP was living with her at the time. She told him that he'd better start paying child support on time and in full, as well as giving me a lump sum of what he owed. That she wouldn't tolerate having a deadbeat for a son and unless he apologised to me and started having DC EOW without fail, he would be out on his arse and cut off. And that OW was no longer welcome in her house (ExMIL had barely tolerated her anyway). That she had never felt so humiliated and mortified.

It still gives me a warm cosy feeling whenever I think about it

😂I love your ex mil! What a woman 🤗

Did he mention in all of that what you were supposed to have done wrong?

I must say, in response to the original message about seeing his solicitor, I think I'd have sent a message back telling him to crack on and let you know what the solicitor said.