Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

673 replies

ChooseYourLameName · 15/11/2020 13:50

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted Blush But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them Sad

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
JustAPassingFashion · 15/11/2020 16:44

My PILs send multipack cards to everybody, including one to our family of 4.

My family send 3 cards to us, one for me and DH (to daughter and husband), and one each (grandson card) to each DC.

I'd taken on the same tradition but realise I was buying several cards for the same
Occasion (to my dad, to my grandad etc etc) and honestly, it's mad. It's a huge expense (£3.50 odd a card in Sainsbury's!) and it's a terrible waste of paper. Mother's Day ended up being 3 cards to my mum... Blush

So this xmas I'm sending nothing. Not a single card. I reckon I'll save around £50 that can go to better use. I'll don my hard hat for when my family realiseGrin

SOboredofcleaning · 15/11/2020 16:44

What?!?

ilovepixie · 15/11/2020 16:46

At Primary school (in the 80s) the popular kids used cards as a way of letting you know your place. If you got a flowery card or one with a religious scene from them, you were the lowest of the low!

At school we called these Staff cards! As in we gave to staff and people we didn't like!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Events & celebrations
HelloDulling · 15/11/2020 16:47

This is the maddest thread I’ve ever read, and that is saying something.

Daisy12Maisie · 15/11/2020 16:47

I dont agree with cards as we are meant to be environmentally conscious so why send a card when you can send a text? The amount of cards sent upsets me.
I get one card a year for my mum and it hqs to be a special one or she sulks. Very, very odd. When my children leave home I would want to send them something but I havent thought of what. It would be something practical not a card

the80sweregreat · 15/11/2020 16:48

I like the design of cards , but the more sickly worded ones are just awful. Some are just too over the top I think.

that1970shouse · 15/11/2020 16:49

YABU, firstly for sending Christmas cards in November (unless going abroad) and secondly to give a shitty multipack one to your DM, unless this is a family tradition and she normally sends you a cheap multipack one too.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 15/11/2020 16:51

My DM would raise an eyebrow if I sent a "To my wonderful parents from your loving daughter at this magical festive time of year" card. If it had a bad poem in it she would wonder if it was a joke.

AnnaSW1 · 15/11/2020 16:51

I just wouldn't send her a card again. She's behaving like a spoilt child. I don't reward that kind of thing.

AlwaysLatte · 15/11/2020 16:54

I wouldn't send a close family a multipack card or do it in November but I also wouldn't complain about receiving it (more so). So her BU is more than your BU. Is it possibly something else though? Not forgotten something, birth/death date of a family member or something, or something you promised to do?

the80sweregreat · 15/11/2020 16:55

Multi pack cards are a bit dreary even the ones that are a bit more expensive.
I doubt anyone will have much of a ' jolly happy Christmas' this year as it is!
I hope they become a thing of the past in the future but card shops do generate jobs etc so it might carry on. I blame the Victorians for the Christmas card nonsense! What were they thinking?

HollyandIvyandallthingsYule · 15/11/2020 16:56

@SayakaMurata

She's being ridiculous, don't worry about it.
This.
GeorgiaGirl52 · 15/11/2020 16:57

@beela

What? I don't even send my mum a card usually, because I see her!
This^ Cards are for people who will not be getting gifts or visits. Multipacks are fine as long as you don't send the exact same card every year.
shinynewapple2020 · 15/11/2020 16:57

Perhaps she has something else on her mind that was upsetting her . I think you may possibly be reading too much into her responses here . You've said your mum is someone who is either really up and happy or is down in the dumps . Sounds like today she has a downer on her . I think if her mental health is such that she is regularly up and down it's unlikely have anything to do with the Christmas card you've sent . Also if she lives some distance abs Covid means you may not be seeing her at Christmas, receiving the card may be reminding her of this .

ragged · 15/11/2020 16:58

I am probably old enough to be OP's mum -- I vote OP's mum was ridiculous.

So will you get her another card, sent on a more 'correct' date? It might be worth just playing along given it's an important relationship. It's the sort of petty nonsense that undermines my relationships with other people, though.

Sweettea1 · 15/11/2020 16:58

Am I the only person thinking Christmas card middle of November is odd you won't send a birthday card a month earlier would you?

TheAirbender · 15/11/2020 16:59

Just loathe Christmas cards. Pointless clutter

lazylinguist · 15/11/2020 16:59

I think it’s hurtful not to send a “Mum” card

Really?! The only cards I ever send with the family member on the front are Mothers' Day ones, and sometimes not even then - if I can't find one that's not appallingly schmaltzy and cheesy, I buy just a non-specific card with a lovely picture. My mum is an art fan and a bit of a painter herself. She knows she's my mum and she'd much rather have a classy, beautiful picture on her card than a flowery glittery thing with 'to the best mum in the world' etc on it!

I've literally never in my 49 years sent a birthday card or Christmas card with 'to my Mum/nephew/husband' etc on the front. None of the rest of my family do either. Dh's do though. Some of them look like an explosion in a teddy bear and glitter factory. Grin

HollowTalk · 15/11/2020 17:00

When people send cards out this early, do they expect the receiver to display it for several weeks?

VintageMemories · 15/11/2020 17:01

I think expensive cards are a waste of money, but I also always feel self-conscious about not buying them. Hmm

Your mother was being silly and rude. It's a stupid piece of paper! Why does she care so much about insignificant little things?!

I'd try to forget it. You didn't do anything wrong. She, on the other hand, ought to be ashamed to have told you it wasn't a nice card, imo.

NameChange84 · 15/11/2020 17:03

@lazylinguist

I think it’s hurtful not to send a “Mum” card

Really?! The only cards I ever send with the family member on the front are Mothers' Day ones, and sometimes not even then - if I can't find one that's not appallingly schmaltzy and cheesy, I buy just a non-specific card with a lovely picture. My mum is an art fan and a bit of a painter herself. She knows she's my mum and she'd much rather have a classy, beautiful picture on her card than a flowery glittery thing with 'to the best mum in the world' etc on it!

I've literally never in my 49 years sent a birthday card or Christmas card with 'to my Mum/nephew/husband' etc on the front. None of the rest of my family do either. Dh's do though. Some of them look like an explosion in a teddy bear and glitter factory. Grin

I never said “Best Mum Ever” Never said glittery or flowery or anything like that.

Very easy to find classy Merry Christmas Mum cards. I get named cards for my immediate family. So does everyone I know in real life. Birthdays too.

FourTeaFallOut · 15/11/2020 17:03

I'd love to see an example of a joyous "special" Christmas card that delivers a true message of the Christmas spirit and puts all these multipack cards to shame.

HollyandIvyandallthingsYule · 15/11/2020 17:04

@lazylinguist

I think it’s hurtful not to send a “Mum” card

Really?! The only cards I ever send with the family member on the front are Mothers' Day ones, and sometimes not even then - if I can't find one that's not appallingly schmaltzy and cheesy, I buy just a non-specific card with a lovely picture. My mum is an art fan and a bit of a painter herself. She knows she's my mum and she'd much rather have a classy, beautiful picture on her card than a flowery glittery thing with 'to the best mum in the world' etc on it!

I've literally never in my 49 years sent a birthday card or Christmas card with 'to my Mum/nephew/husband' etc on the front. None of the rest of my family do either. Dh's do though. Some of them look like an explosion in a teddy bear and glitter factory. Grin

I can’t bear those either and I’d find it extremely embarrassing if I had to send one and would definitely be a bit Hmm if I received one! Although if it was given to me by someone I hold in great affection I’d obviously appreciate the thought behind it much as I’d be secretly cringing.
TrickyD · 15/11/2020 17:04

@FourTeaFallOut

A class thing? Maybe I have delusions of grandeur when I sling a box of cards in my trolley?
Yes, a class thing. I always assumed the ‘Mum’ cards etc were the choice of those we would never dream of calling chavs on MN.
MythicalBiologicalFennel · 15/11/2020 17:04

I buy cards because I like them. They can be discounted multi packs in January or £4 each from art gallery shops. I like the religious imagery ones - it's Christmas after all, right?? Confused

Taste is very personal and I find other people's choices fascinating. I avoid the "to my mother" types and the ones with poems as I find them naff, generic and vulgar. MIL does go out of her way to buy that tipe of card. I never understood why and this thread has been bonkers illuminating! I guess her effort is wasted on me as mine is wasted on her, which kinda sums up the whole Christmas card thing.

Oh and OP you have done nothing wrong. Your mum was entitled and rude. To tell a present / card giver that their present / card isn't good enough is the pits of bad manners.