My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

[ChooseYourLameName]

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them

I don't send cards to my mum and dad at all, never mind special ones!

Cards are for people you're not seeing at Christmas in my world. People, who you actually celebrate with, e.g. parents and siblings don't get cards.

She possibly feels like very little thought went into it. You wanted to get the job done cheaply and far too early so it's out of the way. It's not exactly the sort of Christmas wish I'd like to send to my mum.

Tbh if I received a Christmas card in the post tomorrow it'd go straight in the bin because honestly, it's not a thoughtful gesture, it's something you've ticked off your 'to do' list, there's no real sentiment or festive wishes in a Christmas card sent this early.

😂

People send cards because they HAVE to, do you really think there's more sentiment if they send it earlier?

People are ridiculously precious about their cards.

That's the beauty of having young children, just let them scribble on a blank card and there you have it, a VERY thoughtful, personalised and unique card.

I put thoughts in the gifts, not in the cards I have to send....

I’ve only ever sent cards from multipacks. It’s never occurred to me that some people might be offended by this.

Although close family and friends do tend to get the nicer multipack cards. And on the years when school / nursery was organising this, cards displaying the DC’s Christmas themed artwork.

@RuthW

I'd be quite upset if dd gave me a card from a multipack.

you would be ridiculous. They'd make the effort to buy, write and send one.

It's especially ridiculous in the UK where most cards barely have:

To xyz
Love from
xxx

😂

It's not even a proper card, there's no thoughts, no effort, nothing in the card. So ridiculous.

I always thought that all relationship cards, "to a lovely step nana" etc, were a massive class marker. I've been flamed for saying that on previous threads on this topic so I thought WTF, lets roll it out again 😀. I generally don't bother with Christmas cards. Particularly for people I am actually going to spend Christmas with (ie my parents). So I have somehow missed that multipack cards are considered inferior.

People do care, I don't know any mother who receives a generic multi pack card
No, neither do I. I think people either dont bother with family cards because they see each other all the time or make an effort with a nice card. Same as with birthday cards, surely. You wouldnt give your mum a crappy, generic 29p 'Happy Birthday' card would you

Primary school (in the 80s) the popular kids used cards as a way of letting you know your place. If you got a flowery card or one with a religious scene from them, you were the lowest of the low!
Yes! This brings back memories. Cute Christmas card = friends. Nativity scene or worse still, snowy winter scene, they fucking hate you

This thread has been really eye opening. I've always wondered who bought those twee cards with poems 'For my Mum' etc at Christmas, but it seems I'm in the minority! I always buy and send charity multipack cards as I figured that's part of the reason to send the damn things, it raises lots of money for specific charities. For close relatives I then write a personalised message inside, rather than just 'Dear X, love from Artichoke'.

I get irritated though when I receive a non-charity multipack card, like the packs of 40 cards for 99p you used to get at Clintons. If you're going to send Christmas cards, it ought to be for a good cause.

Is this a class thing?? It is genuinely so bizarre! I have never in my life bought and would never desire to receive one of those special "named" Christmas cards nobody in my family would either.

Now I think about it - MIL does seem to absolutely love shit like this but it's never occurred to me to buy a special Christmas card for her as DH doesn't bother and I have never bought them for anyone.

I used to work at WHSmith FFS so I have no idea why this is so surprising to me!

If not a class thing it must at least be a family culture thing as people seem so sure on either side (multipack cards are an insult vs multipack cards are perfectly normal and appropriate, single cards are OTT and tacky). I feel the need to tweet this thread to Kate Fox...

I wonder if MIL is secretly seething (she never openly seethes) at our lack of fancy cards over the years and that's why she always sends the DC bizarre birthday cards with flowers on like you'd send to an old lady. (We have two boys. I don't have any problem with flowers for boys but it always seemed strange to me that she would pick out that kind of card).

Honestly cannot believe people worry about such things. Really, get a life and start thinking about more important things.

My mum doesn't give a crap about getting a 'special' card. She's just happy to get a card at all. But then she's not an ungrateful type of person

@bebanjo

My dad sends from a pack he brought in the 80s from a man in a pub, I’m still getting those, he only sends about 3 a year and he got 200 of them. It’s a bit of paper that says merry Christmas, it’s really quit childish when you think about it.

brilliant that's is what you call being prepared!

Are you seriously putting any thought into what someone thinks of your Christmas card choice? 🥴🥴🥴

Just get a grip! Send a card, then forget it.

I don't actually send Christmas cards to anyone but if I did, I would absolutely send my mum a multipack card! She'd get the same as everyone else

Actually now I am confused about whether or not I would send my mum a Christmas card at all considering I haven't sent them since before I left home.

People do care, I don't know any mother who receives a generic multi pack card

My pretty typical middle class parents used to buy an Oxfam multipack every year and sit at the table and write cards to everyone, no specific ones were bought including for their parents.

I think when people think multipacks they are picturing the really cheap ones you send with your kids to school, when in reality lots of multipacks look identical to the ones you can buy individually with a standard wintery scene.

I think if my mum received any sort of Christmas card through the post from me on 13 November she'd think I'd lost the plot

I get irritated though when I receive a non-charity multipack card, like the packs of 40 cards for 99p you used to get at Clintons. If you're going to send Christmas cards, it ought to be for a good cause.

MN is an entire world entirely

I'd rather buy a park for 99p and make a genuine donation to a charity than feeling all superior because a couple of pennies will go to a charity when I buy over-priced pieces of cardboard.

My mum expects a 'special' card and always sends us one and ones for the DC. I've told her she doesn't need to and we don't really have any space to stand them but she takes no notice.
Despite shielding this year I know she will make it her mission to get into town especially to buy these bloody cards

I'm lost for words at the insanity of this thread, I don't know where to start. In fact I dont think I can take any part of it seriously, are there really grown adults who send cards in November and other grown adults who sulk like toddlers about them?

MN has jmped the shark today, so much crazy!

She def needs to get a grip. OP all cards appreciated. Not a big deal. Don’t let it be.

I would send a “Mum” card not one from a multi pack .

Also am actually now really amused at the thought MIL has been openly insulting us by sending the DC "crap" multipack birthday cards for years and we just haven't noticed :o :o

@Alconleigh

I always thought that all relationship cards, "to a lovely step nana" etc, were a massive class marker. I've been flamed for saying that on previous threads on this topic so I thought WTF, lets roll it out again 😀. I generally don't bother with Christmas cards. Particularly for people I am actually going to spend Christmas with (ie my parents). So I have somehow missed that multipack cards are considered inferior.

It's nothing at all to do with 'class', it just thoughtfulness. I know many people from all walks of life who spend time finding exactly the right card for someone they are close to. It doesn't mean they think nothing of other people, most will buy very attractive packs of cards and choose which one goes to whom. It's part of the fun.

YANBU OP. My mum knows that I love her, no matter what card she gets or how much I spend and it's sad that your mum needs a glitzy card telling her that.

All our family send multipack cards and always have. Although my father treats my mum like shit all year round, then at Christmas/Birthday does usually buy a card spouting how much he loves her. It makes a total mockery of it.

If somebody is offended for not receiving a showy card, it says more about them than it does about you.

A card is a card, it is the sentiment that counts, not the fact that it says "To a wonderful mother" all over the front of it.

XH used to buy me cards like it spouting how much he loved me. I still have the last Christmas one from him, but that didn't stop him falling for somebody else a few weeks later. So I don't believe in the flashy showy stuff, it is more about what people do for you and how they treat you.

My pretty typical middle class parents used to buy an Oxfam multipack every year and sit at the table and write cards to everyone, no specific ones were bought including for their parents
I think that's its a more modern phenomenon. My own parents wouldn't have dreamt of buying specific cards for relations and it wasn't a thing at all when I was growing up. If I look back I think it's only been a thing for the last decade or so. I'm not going to bother with cards this year I dont think and I guess a lot of people will feel the same.