My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

[ChooseYourLameName]

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them

I think my Mum would puke if I gave her a card with Mum on it

It’s the thought that counts. Not easy to find decent cards at the moment, but multi pack does sound a bit impersonal

It sounds a bit of a weird, childish response. Does she expect a special handmade one. I don't usually send my mum a card because I give her presents. I might give her a card this year as I have not seen her for ages. I probably won't send any other cards, though. November is very early for cards.

I would be very annoyed if I got a Christmas card before 1st December (and tbh I think people who send them in the first week of Dec have too much time in their hands). Hate the one off named person cards and would never send one, but your mum is being ungrateful rejecting a multipack one.

Yes, I’d be happy with any card my husband gave me, if it was well chosen in and of itself. The message inside would be the most important thing, because that’s heartfelt & personal to me; it would be lovely, because it always is.

More importantly the card is a only token. It’s our life together that’s meaningful and our history that matters, plus he is extremely considerate, loving, thoughtful and caring and shows his love for me and the depth of his affection in many different ways every single day, without fail. So it would be churlish in the extreme to put any kind of weight on whether or not it came from a multipack!

A multi pack card wouldn't go down well in this family either

It's the 16th of freaking November!
May I suggest that may be source of her annoyance?

Aw I feel so bad for you! I’m sure it is a lovely card and others will be more than happy to receive it. I have never once thought a Christmas card was cheap and Iv had fancy cards and not so fancy ones, it’s what it says inside that counts and the kind gesture. Sounds like your mum was in a really bad mood...try not to let her get to you. Xx

So glad my family isn’t so petty. Good grief!

Way too early and a multipack card??? Wow. Your a cheapskate.

Bless you that’s so sad it’s the thought that counts don’t let it get to you 🤗

oh dear , I’m going against the tide here but that would definitely be me too! I don’t think your mum is angry so much as hurt and upset. In our family we always buy “ special cards” for close relatives - so if someone bunged me a multipack one I would feel it hadn’t been specially chosen for me and that it showed little thought. I can see both sides as I know lots of people don’t even do cards now- but your Mother is pretty special - and maybe she takes a delight in having cards out in show ( as lots of older folk do!!) and wanted a “ Dear Mum” one to take pride of place. I can see why you would feel that’s silly - but maybe sometimes a gesture such as forking out for a special card ( unless you are absolutely broke) is not too much to ask to make your Mum happy? ( photo cards online are easy and cheap to personalise).

Thats someones mother not a brat

You already have a difficult relationship with her but maybe you've only just realised how difficult.

You said it yourself, she's difficult to get hold of at the best of times and rarely returns your calls. She's either high as a kite or miserable as sin and she's clearly the latter currently so I think this actually has very little to do with you at all.

If it was me I wouldn't ring her again until she learns how to behave and I would be sending her a text message saying exactly that: Dear Mum, I'm sorry you didn't like the card and I acknowledge it's a bit early but I sent it 2nd post so I honestly didn't think you would get it yet but it's hardly the end if the world when I don't usually send cards anyway. Your behaviour on the phone though was the end of the world for me and baring in mind you were damn rude and you're almost impossible to communicate with at the best of times, until you start treating me better there will be no more cards and no more phone calls because this is all too much to be honest. Have a great Christmas and New year. Love @ChooseYourLameName.

As far as sending cards in general are concerned: it's very personal. Some people would r

I have a different problem. I have to search high and low for birthday/mother's day and christmas cards that aren't mushy as my mother wasn't particularly nice to me, ever!
She's 98 so letting bygones be bygones but always feel awkward looking for a card that doesn't say something like, 'you're the best', 'one in a million' etc.....maybe there's a market there?

It’s November!!! And it’s the thought that counts, who cares if it’s a cheap card or an expensive one. Tell her to jog on

Sorry, my phone froze!

Some folks would rather have a beautiful well thought out card than a present. My family are like this, especially my mum and I always joke I spend more on her card than her present.

Different strokes for different folks.

She is lucky she got one
Forget about her she is being silly🎄🎄

@HotSince63

You and your mum are both nuts - you for sending Christmas cards out before we are even halfway through November, and your mum for being upset that her card wasn't special enough.

Tbh if I received a Christmas card in the post tomorrow it'd go straight in the bin because honestly, it's not a thoughtful gesture, it's something you've ticked off your 'to do' list, there's no real sentiment or festive wishes in a Christmas card sent this early.

Agree with this!

Personally, I always get one with "mum" or "mum and dad" on but she should be thankful she got a card at all

P.p.s

I'm fine with multipack cards from friends and colleagues but not from my family. This year is the exception though things being what they are.

Every year I get quite annoyed at the cost of cards and stamps and the time to write them (I do love Christmas though!).

I think cards sent through the year for reasons other than Christmas and birthdays mean much more.

However, cards mean ALOT to my mum, so I always make the effort to get her one like a bloody book, she likes the words.

@KatherineJaneway

It was part of a multipack, granted

You couldn't have SAID 'I couldn't give a shit about you' more clearly than send her a card like That. Why would you be that lazy?

If my mum/anyone really concluded that I didn't give a shit about them over a multipack card then there must be bigger issues in the relationship?!

At worst I would expect someone to think oh, that's from a multipack, they're being frugal (and environmental) this year. How AWFUL.

Very precious to expect personalised cards. If it's someone you're close to then hopefully you'll see them and have special Christmas memories that way.

Haven’t read thread, but in answer to the OP, I think receiving a card so early, from a multipack, just screams “I can’t be arsed with this” and not particularly heart-felt!
More just like a job done, box ticked.

Whilst that may be ok for acquaintances you only keep in touch with via Xmas card (we all get it!) ....this is your MUM! So yes, I do see why she may feel upset with this tbh.

Cards in my family/circle are important, More so than a present, we keep special cards. If my daughter gave me a card from a multi pack id be upset too but, it depends what you wrote in it more so.