My mum is really angry about her Christmas card

[ChooseYourLameName]

I sent mine out early this year (I know, I know). My mum got hers today, earlier than expected since I sent them 2nd Class.

She doesn’t often answer her phone but she did today, I rang for a quick chat. She said ‘I got your card, thanks’. She sounded really disappointed (she’s either a really thrilled, happy as a button person or is really down in the dumps and snappy). I said is everything okay, she said ‘well it wasn’t a nice card, was it?’

It was part of a multipack, granted But I thought there were really sweet, with a snowman and red car with a tree on top. I said that I thought she’d like it, they’re just a little gesture. She said ‘Yeah well thanks’.

She then said ‘got to go, really busy, I’ll call you later’. She never does call later though.

Was I really CF for sending a multipack card? Can that be offensive if the person is an important person in your life? I just wanted to do something nice, to let people know they were in my thoughts.

I’m really hurt by this. I know I need to get a grip and I’m probably the silly one for thinking a cheap little card would be well received when people will probably bin it when they get them

I'm sure my DM would thank me as usual if I sent her a flowery pink 'Mum, it's your birthday!' card, but she'd privately wonder if I'd suffered a temporary loss of aesthetic judgement

The only cards I feel pretty strongly about are the fucking glitter bomb cards. The ones you open and glitter practically leaps off the packaging onto the fireplace, the floor etc. Evil little cards.

who over the age of 11 (primary school) or under the age of 60 sends xmas cards?

and more so than that who over the age of 11 gives a fuck about the design or moans it wasnt one of the glittery 'best' ones saved only for the givers 'closest bestest friends'?

how could you be mad over a card?

unless that anger is aimed at the sheer waste and enviomental distruction of them (Im in no way an eco warrior but even I think for something so unnessacery its a huge waste)

@mam0918

who over the age of 11 (primary school) or under the age of 60 sends xmas cards?

and more so than that who over the age of 11 gives a fuck about the design or moans it wasnt one of the glittery 'best' ones saved only for the givers 'closest bestest friends'?

how could you be mad over a card?

unless that anger is aimed at the sheer waste and enviomental distruction of them (Im in no way an eco warrior but even I think for something so unnessacery its a huge waste)

I do. Because all my family is scattered around the world and I hardly ever see them.

I send 15-20 cards once a year. That’s not going to be the deciding factor in saving the environment. I figure I save over that amount in cardboard/packaging by not having a weekly takeaway!

I get mum a multipack 'fancy' card. Like those ones that come in a multipack of only 10 that are a bit more expensive. She's fine about that but then she's quite a practical no fuss woman. I put more fuss into her gift which she appreciates more.

She gets me a bog standard mulitpack card, fine by me

If I sent my mum a card that said 'Mum' on it she would probably call me to check I was still alive, because it would be so far out of character. I would never buy cards with someone's relationship to me on them. And would only buy number cards for children who are excited about their age.

I do send her a pretty card if I find one, but if not a generic charity card is fine.

I've only ever sent or been given a card from a multipack (some nicer than others) but it is the thought of a card that counts.

However, I have a relative who would be offended if I sent it second class rather than first!

my own family send those cards that say happy xmas dear daughter etec. I hate them they come across cheap and tacky to me and i cringe when get them. I do aprrecaite them sending me a crad though. For me though i purposly send my own mother a non chhesy dear mother xams card, it really annoys her i know :) so i go out of my way each year to find her one that i know she wil hate( last year one had a pic of cat after knocking a xmas tree down) i do like recieving cards though, think its a nice thought and do take my time sending them out each year all be it from a muliti pack (noramlly nice ones got for 70 percent off after xams the year before) do remember what people sent me the year before as i keep what was sent to me the year before to remind myslef who sent me cards and how to spel ect. Thats just the way i work. However i would be really shocked if i got an xmas card in November - maybe it would be ok if from a foreign country - but come on now we dont have a pigeon postal service, time enough 1st December.

That’s so tight, a multipack ! So early!
I’m not surprised she was disappointed

@Pumpkinpie1

That’s so tight, a multipack ! So early! I’m not surprised she was disappointed

Surely it's the present that actually matters? 😂 the card is just a card until you see them?

Which comedian was it who did a skit on choosing which multipack card design your friends got at school?

David Gorman?

See, for years, my own judgement has been "who gets the worst card design out of the multipack"?

I hope I do insult people who care about this petty shit until they leave my life, because HONESTLY, how stupid.

Surely it's the present that actually matters?

Isn't it the thought?

@Bluesheep8

Surely it's the present that actually matters?

Isn't it the thought?

And that thought had better be accompanied by the purchase of a lovely present

Some family's do the important card thing. I don't but DH family do so it's a bit strange. Maybe order her a Moonpig next time

Personally I buy the sister, mother and partner, niece etc ones but that's what we've always done. Same for birthdays. It's the precedent I guess.
Of her response matters, maybe a Mom one in time for Christmas. If she's a drama queen over everything and you aren't interested in placating her, leave it and don't send one on future

You didnt send her one with Mum on? Jesus I'd be mightily annoyed and upset

@FabbyChix

You didnt send her one with Mum on? Jesus I'd be mightily annoyed and upset

Why?

I do think this must be a regional thing. Up North, with family in Scotland, I don’t know a single adult person who would send a parent a card from a multipack. This is genuinely the sort of thing there would be rows about within our family as it would be seen as deliberately hurtful or lazy. I know it’s hard to believe for some people but I couldn’t envisage doing something like this to my parents. I know it would deeply hurt them .

I'm in Scotland and have never bought an individual card for anyone at Christmas. I dont see the point in spending the extra money.

Regional? I'm in the North East and my family have only ever done multipack cards and not the individual relationship cards. I don't think I have ever known this to be the kind of thing anyone would lose sleep over. I've certainly never heard of anyone have a strop over a card.

Yeah I really don’t think it’s regional. I think it’s a matter of family culture and expectations, and a particular set of personalities/preferences.

The only person I know who was like this about cards and specifically about the exact wording of the —mass produced— —generic— not— —at— —all— —personal— poem was someone who showed strong elements of narcissistic personality disorder. NOT saying that everyone who prefers that kind of card is like that, but in her case she was definitely not an easy person in many other ways.

It would just be weird to me to attach that much meaning to whether or not the card said ‘Mum’ or ‘To my Husband at Christmas’ - I find that one really odd.

I also think some people are making the assumption that multipack means cheap and nasty. Maybe not everyone is aware that it’s quite possible to buy very nice, good quality, well made cards in a multipack! It’s also perfectly possible to buy cheap cards that are lovely.

I buy charity cards sometimes, if I want to support that charity. My daughter has a health condition that will have a huge impact on her for the rest of her life. I’m happy if an extra little bit of money can go the relevant charity, since I’m buying the cards anyway. Again, it’s perfectly possible to find very nice ones.

Oh fuck me I can never make the strike-through work, no matter which way I try to do it! 😆😆

Maybe it’s a class thing.

Only kidding!! Thought I might as well play MN bingo...

I can't do strike through either!
( maybe only certain mumsnetters can?😃)
I have tried but it doesn't work.

-mass produced generic not at all personal-

-mass- -produced-