Bullied at work. Can't take anymore.

[whydobulliesalwayswin]

Long time poster but name changed for this.

Don't even know what I want to say or have as responses. Just need to vent.

I'm so down. I cry a lot. Most evenings now, but plaster a face on for work. Easier under a mask I must say.

Bullying is going on from HR plus line manager.

Cannot do anything because I need this job.

I will never, ever work out as long as I live, why there are people out there who enjoy making people's lives a misery. I'm always such a happy person, cheering others up who are sad. My kids keep seeing me cry and it really hurts

Firstly I’m so sorry this is happening to you - do you mean hr/ line manager is doing the bullying?

Your mental health is worth more than any job so is it worth looking at what else is available? Speak to your gp and see if they are able to support you, it sounds like you need a break and being signed off for stress might give you that breather

I also cannot understand why some people take pleasure in being horrible to others

What is happening? How big is the company/organisation?

It's horrible being in a toxic environment at work

Yes, HR and line manager doing the bullying together. They are very good friends.

I am really worried about my mental health, but I am the main/only earner. I am looking for jobs. Confidence is a bit shot to pieces at the moment.

In education. It's very very toxic (this place anyway).

I am worried about being too outing. It seems as though it's constructive dismissal - part of my role being re-advertised, hours reduced, asked to apply for my own job again (but they know it won't be enough hours, so I will have to leave).

Leave -are you a teacher? on line tutoring TA ? same-sign up and do supply?

I can see you don't want to say much so I will just send and make you a .

You deserve better than this, and I'm sure you can find a way out.

The way they are behaving is no reflection on you.

Support staff. Looking for anything admin based at the moment. I used to love it here. Have made good friends here, and I will really miss working with them.

I would document everything for your records and then have a chat with citizens advice

It is horrible and will destroy your physical and mental health as it did me. Go to the doctor and get signed off sick. Then start building your case and approaching contacts for a new job. Join the union and get an advocate. Doing these things and particularly having an advocate saved me from madness but I was still terribly unwell for 6 months. If you leave it too long you wont be well enough to apply for jobs. Your employer has a duty of care for you however, ultimately they don't really care. If there another manager you can approach for support?

I don't understand what bullies get out of it. All I understood from my bully was she was a narcissist and it made her feel good. She however, is still there and continues to at least try to bully.

Thank you everyone. I really just needed to hear something nice. I am usually so strong. But this is really triggering for me. The eggshells thing reminds me of other things. I feel so very broken.

You will find another role and you will be happy again just hang on to that. I left a very toxic workplace just before lockdown and I can't tell you the difference in my nee job and in me, I'm happy again.
I know when you're in the midst of it you feel that's all you're worth but it will be their loss. You will find something else and start to rebuild your confidence. Wishing you good luck

All I understood from my bully was she was a narcissist and it made her feel good

I think the same applies here.

I've started making notes, because it's easy to forget the order of events and what was said.

Nothing to add I’m afraid but sending you 💐

I'm so sorry OPbeen there and got the shirt unfortunately. Apply for other jobs, but first of all speak to your GP and ask to be signed off for a couple of weeks. It sounds like you are very stressed and anxious and you need a break from the nasty bitches. Keep posting xx theres lots of nice people out there I promise

Ps theres a big employment drive with civil service of employment coaches and nhs admin too- have a look and see if theres anything that stands out to you

There are a lot of fucked up human beings about .

Look for something else as soon as you can, best to just get out of there.

So sorry op. My dh went through this but in his case he was late 50’s so he took early retirement. It still pisses me off big time that the guy got away with the bullying.
My dh refused to join a union or try and fight back. Imo he should have but he was just too ill.
Get lots of advice and definitely get signed off sick.

Wishing you good luck

Thank you. That sounds lovely feeling happy again in your new job, I'm glad you're out. I'm shocked at how I've spiralled to be honest. It's quite scary.

Is there anyone else higher up you can go to? Are you in a union?

I've worked as support staff in education too and seen horrendous bullying go on by managers. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Please know that you do not deserve it. Bullies bully, they don't really care who.

I hope you find a way out of there soon.

I’m so sorry to hear this is happening to you - my advice - Buy a dictaphone and use it to record all interactions - I did when staff at A4e w wee trying to bully me -

Are you in a union? What they are doing sounds wrong and you need support and advice.

It does sound like constructive dismissal. I would ask them if they are making you redundant (as your role as it is does not exist) and what the business case is and what the consultation process is.

It still pisses me off big time that the guy got away with the bullying.

Oh god, yes. DH went through something a few years back, and he went to a dark place and wouldn't talk about it. Was very hard. I do get angry when I think about what some people get away with in life.

I think seeing the GP would be a good idea. I didn't really think about that as an option.