Bullied at work. Can't take anymore.

[whydobulliesalwayswin]

Long time poster but name changed for this.

Don't even know what I want to say or have as responses. Just need to vent.

I'm so down. I cry a lot. Most evenings now, but plaster a face on for work. Easier under a mask I must say.

Bullying is going on from HR plus line manager.

Cannot do anything because I need this job.

I will never, ever work out as long as I live, why there are people out there who enjoy making people's lives a misery. I'm always such a happy person, cheering others up who are sad. My kids keep seeing me cry and it really hurts

I don't understand what enjoyment people get out of making other people miserable. Horrible people. Definitely keep a note of everything that is being said so you have evidence to back yourself up.

I Agree with other posters and see if your doctor can sign you off for a couple of weeks

Being bullied in the workplace is horrible and really plays on your mind doesn't it?

You're doing the right thing by documenting orbit can you whistleblow to someone above the HR person that is bullying you?

Please know that you do not deserve it. Bullies bully, they don't really care who.

Thank you

Not in a union unfortunately. Funnily enough, last year, one of the teachers left and he said to me on his last day 'top tip for you, join a union, you'll thank me later' and off he went. Well that makes a lot of sense now.

You can still join a union now!

Ring ACAS for help?

How long have you worked there for?

What kind of things are they doing to bully you?

Silent treatment, picking on things I do, telling me how to do things one way, and then when I do it that way, telling me 'why are you doing it like that?' my head spins. Constantly picking and correcting, even though I'm not getting my job wrong, it's the goal posts keep moving. If that makes sense.

There is a lot more.

Been there nearly 2 years.

Definitely try and get yourself in a union, as pp have said. I’m sorry you’re going through this; there are some bastards about - don’t let them grind you down.

I am so sorry you are in this HORRIBLE situation. Some people are vile...have you been to the doctors and talked about going on anti-depressants? I had to leave work through stress, not bullied, just work load was awful so I do sympathise. Can you get signed off. You sound like you are far too nice to be working there. Sending you a big hug... ❤️

If it's a state school you should be able to join UNISON

Ah, I'm so glad I started this thread. Thank you SO much, really really, nicest words have heard in a long time. Are there any repercussions from being signed off? Can I lose my job, or can they make life worse?

I'll look at unison thank you.

Are you comfortable saying how they are bullying you? Have you had a meeting about the terms of your contract changing ? ( ie role has been split / less hours) . Are you on any sort of performance plan etc

Also how long have you been employed

Sorry just read previous threads 😊

I don't know how much to say. Can they do anything if they happen to stumble on this thread? I am a mess.

It's hard to explain. So my job is 2 jobs really, and it should be 2 jobs (for 2 people), but they have it under one person, me. The main job is hard to do, with the 2nd role making it hard to do job one. I can still do them both though, but the day is stressful.

Person I work with who is sending my head spinning with telling me one thing and then telling me that's wrong, has asked for me to be moved, so I can get main job done and get back to work with her.

This actually worked so well, and everyone commented on the job being done so well now I was in my own office. Have had a happy time. Atmosphere getting so bad in other office, silent treatment, picking, just awful awful frosty bad atmosphere. So half the day happy, and the other half awful.

Then I get told that I'm taking too long and my job shouldn't take that long it's not that important. But everyone else is saying it is (and it is in all other schools). Asked to get it done much much faster and go back to frosty colleague. I actually say no, and I think the job is so much better like this.

cont...

So then it really starts. Talking behind back, I'm not pulling weight, I'm deliberately taking time to do my job, lazy, not a team player, betraying colleague.

I was told I was very lucky I was employed in the first place as she (HR) never wanted me in the first place, and neither did a few others there. That I'd been given a chance and not been loyal. There was a lot more. It was horrible. Then she said because I'd carved out a nice little role for myself, they'd readvertise the role, and I could apply for it if I wanted but it will be a third of the hours I am currently on. Then she said, but I don't think that would work for you would it? (she knows it wouldn't).

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this op.

You are NOT to blame None of this is your fault!

Why grown adults want to do this to others in the workplace is beyond me!

I was a victim of work place bullying and in the end I left the job without another to go to. My confidence was on the floor and financially it was tight, but doable for a few months, but no job was worth the shit I was having to face. I never looked back!

Get a 'fit note' from your GP and get signed off for stress ASAP

Op on a practical level.

Keep a diary of times, dates, who, what was said. I would write one or two words at work with a code word and then write up the days bullying properly once home. I did this because one day when I popped out on a break the bully went over to my desk and had a squuzz through my work note book.

Email anything from work that could constitute bullying to a personal email address.

Get bully line manager to clarify everything in writing that they want you to do. Pref by email.

Grey rock if you have to talk to the bitch.

Speak to Acas and join a union.

Emotional level

Write 10 things you are good at every day read them bacj

Buy yourself a small treat at the weekend for getting through.

Thank you bugaboo that's some great advice. Sorry you have been through this too

Also if HR wants to talk to you about your role take someone with you who you trust. Get every conversation witnessed where possible.

Hi Op I've been in your position. I was bullied by a superior. I didn't even realise that's what it was when it was happening. I put on such a front in work everyone thought he was the lover but I came home every night and cried my eyes out. I hated taking time off because the feeing of dread before going back in was so much worse.
I went on Maternity leave and never went back. I could stand the thoughts of leaving my baby to go back to that toxic environment. The immense sense of relief i felt was unbelievable. It was the best thing I've ever done.

Keep looking for a new job. Keep your head held high and document everything. Do follow up with a complaint if you can. Do not let them away with it. I did and its the biggest regret I have.
Explain to your children why you are upset and don't be ashamed.

Also if HR wants to talk to you about your role take someone with you who you trust. Get every conversation witnessed where possible.

Agreed. I asked 2 (separate) people if they would come with me and they said no, because the wrath of said HR person is not worth the risk to their own jobs. I do get that, however hard it was to go alone.

No , I don't think they could hold that against -you haven't identified the school or the education authority you work for . The first thing to say is that don't resign before two years service as you are able to claim constructive/ unfair dismissal after this date. If they are wanting to change any part of your contractual terms and conditions like hours, they have to go through a consultation process which is a formal processs. However I am still not 100% clear on the situation with your role , you are employed to do a role which is effectively two roles. It seems to have been recognised that it is two and they need to be split . One full time and one part time - is that correct? If they are advertising the part time element , what are they asking you to do in terms of your role ?

Thank you Hugsgalore, that means a lot

What a horrible situation to be in. I don’t have any advice as such, apart from get out of there and I know it’s a bad time. Is there anyone that would act as a witness for you? Isn’t there anyone else to raise a grievance to?

I saw you were worried someone might recognise you from the thread, you can ask for it it be removed if you need to.

When you are looking for jobs OP, consider a GP practice. My friend made the switch from school administration to GP surgery and there were lots of transferable skills. She was made practice manager within a year and her salary jumped around £20K.

Sorry I see you posted, as I typed. Why people delight in making people unhappy I don’t know. Hope someone can advise you.

DianaT1969 - that's a really good idea x