Trapped Toddler Parents of Winter 2020/21 Support Thread - Puddlesuits at the ready!

[ReallySpicyCurry]

Are you the parent of a small child who doesn't yet sit still for more than five minutes? Do local lockdowns mean there are no baby and toddler groups for miles? Are you sick of walking the same three routes every day since March? Then come and join our support thread! I have started this after some of us had a good moan on a thread in AIBU ("To be worried about staying sane stuck inside all winter with a 2 year old?") because I thought it might be nice to share ideas/activities/general moans and concerns, over what is probably going to be a tricky winter for those of us with babies and toddlers.

Don't forget the answer to all your prayers though... The ever reliable puddlesuit. Puddlesuits are absolutely mandatory this year, and you are expected to wrestle your child into one and make them jump in puddles daily. If your child goes blue with cold, administer a swift dose of hot chocolate and hope your local Amazon delivery driver gets move on with your latest order of kinetic sand/playdough/ball pit/stickers. Failing all else, Peppa Pig is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent, in October as in March.

Haven’t read all the posts yet but please can I join you. Place marking for all the ideas. We are in tier 3 with a 4yo, 2yo and newborn. It’s going to be a long winter

@WeSearchedHereWeSearchedThere brilliant idea!!!

Well, my Halloween crafts did not go to plan.

Dds black hand prints don’t look much like spiders (fine) but she got absolutely covered in black paint and it doesn’t wash off very well so now she looks like she’s been down the pit. To top it off the cat stepped in the pictures that were drying and paraded black paw prints all the way up our (cream) carpeted stairs and all over the banister. Ffs. So now when the baby deigns to go to sleep I have to clean all that up. Don’t do black hand print spiders everyone it’s a recipe for disaster

@footprintsintheslow winner of a day! Haven’t attempted any Halloween crafts with DS - tomorrow is our last chance!

We plodded round the park in the morning, cake home to do some hoovering (he is OBSESSED with the hoover) then just played at home with his dolls house after nap. If anyone is looking for a good one we have a lovely Melissa &Doug one I got off eBay (for £10!!) - it’s completely ungendered (wood and primary colours) and he adores it.

Just checking in. Hope everyone’s had a good day. My DM came today to look after DD while we had our 12 week scan all looking good touch wood.

We then took DD to the park in the afternoon after her 50 minute nap (obviously she does 3 hour naps for the childminder on her days there ) and she was ok while my DM was here as she LOVES her but as soon as she went home DD turned into a massive grump and stayed that way until bedtime. She’s going through a phase of being HARD work - she’s getting frustrated I think because she has very strong feelings about what she does and doesn’t want but doesn’t have the language to express herself. We’re teaching her some makaton signs but she just gets so cross and resorts to throwing things...

In other news, I temporarily lost all touch with reality and decided it would be a good idea to order a feck load of Xmas craft shit from Amazon to attempt next week. The aim is to make cards from DD for relatives etc... we’ll see how long she lasts before I end up making them myself!

@Sunshine1235 OMG you are a hero. I bow down to you.

Crikey - I feel embarrassed now - @Sunshine1235 you're a freaking hero

@FolkSongSweet very jealous of the mention of a nap. Toddler gave up naps months ago now and she really struggles around 4:30 to not be total psycho.

Does anyone have any tip for how I should manage screaming outbursts. If she's told no for anything she has an outburst of screaming. The most high pitched ear splitting scream ever and just repeats it.

The last two days it's tipped me over the edge and I've shut the door between us to try and take the edge off it. But today she pooed herself in temper and managed to open the the door so this isn't a method that's working for us.

How can I do better at handling this. She's 2.5 and really really good 95% of the time.

@thecakebadge just cross posted with you and if you read my post you probably won't want any advice off me. But it's so tough when then can't talk enough to express themselves. I always think top priority in child rearing is give them all the language you can as the sooner that they can talk the easier life is.

That's why I'm so frustrated as my one is a right old chatter box, never stops talking so could communicate verbally but chooses to split my ear drums everyday and then will turn round and say something like "how about we sit and talk about crocodiles". Sigh.

@footprintsintheslow the only thing I can say is distract, distract, distract.

Jigsaws, Peppa pig, totoro and studio Ghibli, brio, and musical instruments and other toys on response rational. Also ' curly cath' on YouTube. 2 years here.

@footprintsintheslow DS went through a stage of screaming in frustration. THe only way I could deal with it was just to sit it out, which I know is easier said than done when it just makes you want to punch yourself in the face.
I honestly just let him get it out, kept him safe if he was lashing out and told him I was ready to give him a hug when he wanted one.

@WesearchedHereWeSearchedThere. DS wasn't/isn't a "stay in your zone" kind of child either. We got a few dirty looks when we went to toddler groups, but at least people didn't look at him like he was going to give them the plague then!

@footprintsintheslow. Not sure how helpful this is going to be, but I try to say no as little as possible. So if we're watching too much TV, I'll say ok and then the TV suddenly dies because "it needs a rest". If DS wants a biscuit and won't shut up about it, we'll suddenly find the packet is empty. And if he does have a tantrum, I just step over him and pretend he's not there.

@footprintsintheslow we are desperately clinging on to the nap - he gets up at 6 and goes to bed at 8 and I know he’d do 7-7 if we dropped the nap but I need that time in the day and will even more so once baby is here! Normally get 1.5hrs out of him.

He’s a very good talker but also does the screaming thing. I just tell him calmly that I can’t understand him when he screams like that and if he talks to me properly he might get somewhere - usually does the trick!

Ignore and distract and avoid saying no.

Thanks everyone. It totally throws me as she's great the majority of the time and good company on the whole. Lulls me into a false sense of security about the terrible twos. Also my eldest never had any terrible twos but was a monster at 3.

@FolkSongSweet that's a good idea actually. I say "I don't understand you" when she says "nufink" instead of 'nothing' and she immediately corrects it. So this could work for her.

Like with everything it's all about how I am. If she screams before 3:30pm I have the mental energy to deal with it all like a pro. After that I'm knackered and can't deal with it so well. So there's two females on the edge!

@footprintsintheslow my son threw a wobbler in tesco when he was 2.5. He was face down on the floor screaming, in the main entrance naturally. I honestly just dragged his screaming carcass to the side and waited for him to chill the fuck out, 1) because I didn’t know what else to do, 2) because he’s a big lad and I’m not wrestling him, it’s like fighting a lubed up octopus and 3) I just didn’t have the mental energy to be The Best Mum. 20 minutes we were there with him screaming/crying/almost getting in the trolley and kicking off again.

People used to tell me to give him options, where it gives the kid a sense of control but where both options are preferable to the parent. DS would just scream no, Hes 3.5 now and only now is he grasping this concept. I wasted a lot of time/energy/stress trying to cajole him when he was younger when just waiting and being ready to cuddle was the best option for him.

Also, wine. Wine really fucking helps.

@MonkeyPuddle I think you were doing the best mum thing by letting it run its course.

The last two days have showed me I've exacerbated the situation by putting her in the next room. It's my own exhaustion and frustration fuelling it.

I will be calm and serene today! (Repeat).

Plus hooray it's Saturday! We have tv in the mornings here on the weekends so we get a lie in and the feeling of the weekend is different from all the other lockdown days.

Went for a run yesterday afternoon and have been having ‘contractions’ ever since. Not painful enough to be active labour (managed to sleep fairly well although one did just wake me up) and really irregular (went through phases of being constant and then spacing out again). Like weird painful braxton hicks. Trying to decide if we should cancel our plans for the day. Not sure if it’s worst to be home, possibly going into labour, and having to deal with a washing machine being delivered or at a friend’s house, who lives in the opposite direction of the hospital (like an hour away), who is also prone to dramatics.

Ooh how exciting! I'd stay st home I think

@footprintsintheslow get the kettle on, get the telly on and have a lovely day together.

@PolarBearStrength sorry, you went for a run?! Holy shit! I almost killed myself doing sideways stair walking yesterday!
I’d be staying home, more likely to get the oxytocin flowing once the nice new washer has been installed.

DP has hurt his back, it’s agony apparently, I’m due to be induced tomorrow and we’ve had words that he just needs to dose up on painkillers and keep his mouth shut about it as I try and expel what’s predicted to be a 9lb+ child from my vagina.

Today I think we’re going to wander up to the woods, there’s an enclosed park with a bench next to them as well.
Home made pizza for tea, DS will be ably assisting in grating and sprinkling (and eating copious amounts of) cheese and as is now tradition in our house, we will eat the pizza on a blanket on the floor as part of a very exciting pizza picnic.

@PolarBearStrength can't believe you went from a run you sound incredible. Good luck today whatever you decide to do.

@MonkeyPuddle commiserations fro having a vocally pained husband. I have the same, can't stand hearing about all his ailments.

@PolarBearStrength a run?!?!?!

Cannot get my head round that! I thought I was hardcore cycling with DS on the back until a few weeks ago...but that’s fairly low impact. Don’t think I’ve been able to run for months and haven’t tried!

I’d stay at home if I were you!

Hope everyone has a good weekend. We’ve done nothing for Halloween so going to panic buy a pumpkin this morning.

@footprintsintheslow he’s a good egg is DP, he’s just shit being injured or ill. He gets very short shrift from me mind you, I’m a nurse, so I’ve used up all my empathy with my actual patients Hes currently downstairs with DS making pancakes, DS is at that age where he gives constant commentary, he’s just told DP he’s doing a great job of microwaving some frozen fruit!

@PolarBearStrength went for a run I thought I was doing well hiking at 7 months.

@footprintsintheslow I had a screamy one too. She would go from perfect model child to howling demon within seconds and nobody would believe me because she was such an angelic child the rest of the time, but when she lost it, she lost it,and emitted these siren shrieks. It's really stressful and triggered off a really sudden "shutupshutupshutup" panicky reaction in me (and I was quire good at riding out the usual kicking and yelling tantrums. Horrible feeling. The only thing that worked for us was basically to ignore them, but stay close and continued with exactly what I was doing, without even blinking or acknowledging the screech. In hindsight it was typical DD- she is a darling who hasn't given me a pick of trouble, but at the same time she's one of these slightly nervy and highly strung clever children who are wonderful, but when they are pissed off, absolutely everyone knows about it immediately. She goes from 0-100 in seconds