Dd won't put earrings back in

[StormsDontLastForever]

Dd got her earring stuck in her ear a few weeks ago, was out & sorted etc. She absolutley loves having her earrings in, however she now has the fear about putting them in as she thinks it's going to be sore. She's crying that she wants them in, then won't let me do it as she's too scared, she can't get them in herself as she can't find the hole properly. Any tips on what I could do to make her less scared? Or do I just tell her we need to let them close up? Thanks

We have the same problem op, ours are 3 months in too but we have to take them out once a week for p.e
She never wants me to take them out, then when I put them in she moans about that too. It's really a battle. I said to her last week, if she won't let me put them back in then we will have to let them close up. Then she cries as she doesn't want them to close up.
Honestly it's exhausting

@MondeoFan yes, that's what happens when children, who do not have Gillick competence to consent, are mutilated. It's the same with circumcision of males as well as females, who cannot legally consent either.

Ok, opinions on piercing aside: these piercings are not settling well, and your DD clearly doesn’t have the maturity to care for them or to handle them being infected. Let them close and she can get them done again when she’s older.

I begged my mum around the same age and I had them done. My dad tutted a bit but mum explained that I had gone on for so long about having my ears pierced and mum explained in detail the process and aftercare. I never had a problem. I don't agree with babies getting their ears pierced as they are not choosing it but a 6 year old can choose.

A 6 year old can choose to do lots of things that are s really bad idea. That’s why they have parents.

I wanted earings at 6, so yes I could have chosen. Did I understand the problems they could cause , No Would I been able to get them in and out myself? Probably not so it definately would not have been an informed decision.

@Lineofconcepcion how do you mean she didn't consent?
It was more the other way around actually, she kept asking me for her ears pierced for around 2 years. I wanted her to wait but in the end I agreed and explained what it would involve.
She is a lot older than 6 too so keep your insultive beak out

@StormsDontLastForever

And yes my child my decision, meaning she asked for them to be done, I made the decision that yes she could have them done as she wanted them done.

She'd probably also quite like to have a go at driving your car. Would you let her do that as well?

I teach 6 year olds. Many of the girls and a few of the boys have pierced ears.
It’s generally not a problem except for PE when they can’t take them in and out.

@MondeoFan a child of 6 is not legally mentally competent to make decisions regarding her health, or consent to wounding, etc etc. The law states that. It's called Gillick competence.

A mother cannot consent to wounding on her child's behalf. That is why the law is in place, to protect children.

It is foul to suggest a 6 year is competent to make decisions that have long term implications. You are not parenting properly if you are incapable of saying no to your child.

Can u let her put a pair in at the same time into a teddy or dolly or similar that worked for my 6 year old when similar happened

If you’re going to force her to have them, at least go back to the piercer and have them put the studs back into the piercing properly and professionally (instead of you just forcing them in!). If the piercer says no, take their advice

@Lineofconcepcion why do you keep mentioning age 6?

I was talking about the situation with my own daughter and she is not 6!

Yabu. All little girls want to try older girl things, like make-up and high heels but the parent has to decide what's suitable. She is too young to look after earrings herself so she shouldn't have them yet.

@StormsDontLastForever

Thanks to those for their actual advice 😁 which I asked for.

To those who are too judgemental, get a life. She's my child and my decisions, if I wanted opinions on whether she should have her ears pierced or not I would have asked that 👍🏼 parents of the year on here sometimes 😂 not everyone is perfect!

No, her body her decision.

If my 6 year old asked for their ears to be pierced, I'd tell them rightly they're too young and when they're old enough to make an informed decision for themselves then it's their decision to make.

I'm shocked someone would have their 6 years olds ears pierced in 2020.

My daughter wanted her ears pierced at 7, she also wanted to walk home from school on her own, a pony, and to go on a sleepover but not tell me who with !

As her parent the answer to all the above was no. It is my job to decide What being 'responsible' means and consider only allowing age appropriate behaviours .

It seems to me that YOU want her to have pierced ears now. She may of done 3 months ago but has now changed her mind. Completely normal for a six year old who cannot anticipate consequences of actions . That's your job.