How are YOU feeling? I mean emotionally what with lockdown etc...

[UsernameNeverAvailable]

I’m ok, generally happy with some really disorientated days when I feel very out of sorts and over emotional.
I want to know how everyone else is coping, come and voice your feelings, no judgement here.

I sway between anxious, fed up and resigned. I am back at work (teacher) and feel very exposed. I'm lucky to have a job (though it's not guaranteed to last as I'm in the independent sector, so subject to the same stressed as any other business) I have two kids who are so much happier to be back at school. I'm worried they will all have to go back to online learning and teaching.
My dsis has long Covid and it's just awful. I haven't seen her for a year now.
I haven't been able to see my dparents since January (both shielding) and I miss them as do the kids, and worry how much this is wasting precious time; they're nearly 80 and it seems so unfair that they are stuck at home, feeling bored and depressed though they don try to keep occupied and remain bright. It breaks my heart.

Concerned it's a front for the 'it's for your safety' crowd. We know how that turned out.

Tired demotivated stressed pondering anti depressants. Had the virus in April just had another positive test as we have one every week at work.
Feel fine assume it’s an error but of course we all isolating kids shut in again eldest anxious.
I think because it coincided with huge changes at work for me it’s made it worse as I’ve suddenly lost a work family of more than 20 years. So I’m struggling to find a new balance and stability where there is none really.
I keep having dreams where I set off on an expedition down the Amazon or whatever and I’m so excited to be going away! I think that sums it up really.

I swing from feeling normal some days, to feeling totally overwhelmed, tearful and like the world is ending. I struggle in the winter anyway, but some days the thought of getting through winter with all the covid restrictions seems impossible. I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it's over.

I'm missing the days where I had the house to myself when DS was sleeping as my husband was working or meeting people after work. I'm getting a bit depressed that my plans to go to Ireland for Christmas might not go ahead. I haven't been home to see family and friends since February and I miss them and my DS is missing out on his Irish family. (I know I could go but I feel like it might be a bit irresponsible.)

But I am getting more sleep, DH is doing much more of the caring and cooking than before, and I'm starting a new job in November and I'm really looking forward to it!

Just a bit bored really.

We are lucky in lots of ways. DH and I have both been able to wfh and our jobs are fairly secure (I hope). DC old enough to be mainly independent so home schooling wasn't too much of a nightmare, and happy to be back at school now. No health issues so I'm not too worried about catching covid. But it's all just a bit joyless atm.

Missing theatre to the point of depression, apart from that not doing too badly at the moment.

Utterly drained. Been skirting around suicidal for a looong while now. My mental health just isn't picking up, despite doing all the "right" things and being back to face-to-face therapy. Now circumstances have headed south for us personally, too, with illness, death and job loss etc. I'm just existing in a fog, getting through one day at a time, feeling like such a failure.

I can get through the days okay but my subconscious is running riot at night.
Experiencing agitated, restless sleep, exhausting anxiety dreams and nightmares.

I wake up feeling emotionally drained and shattered.

Frail elderly dad in a nursing home.
Elderly mum in her own home, very needy and dependent on me, health was doing fine until a heart attack three weeks ago.
DH is overweight, 60 and in a front line job.
Haven’t seen my DD for over a year and can’t predict when we’ll be able to travel to see her again.

Dogs get a lot of hugs.

I'm really sad and worried about the pandemic going on and on, pessimistic about when we might be done with it, despondent at the prospect of getting through autumn and winter without being able to see friends and family indoors, and especially scared that I won't live long enough to experience normal life again as I have cancer.

Angry and so bloody weary of a government that only focusses on getting their sticky fat fingers further into the honey pot.

Tired and anxious, always stressing about how much worse things could get.

Worried that better days seem so far away.

I am v lonely. I’ve just started uni (as a mature student, I’m 30 in a few months) and it’s all online - we’ve yet to go in on campus so I am home 24/7 in a tiny one bed flat.

My DP works for the nhs, he’s working hard due to Covid but he’s also working overtime to help pay for our wedding. We’ve barely had time together. I’ve not seen anyone else as I’m studying so much etc. I’m just real, real lonely.

I'm beyond tired.
Single parent to DD 16, who has developed anxiety over the past 6 months, she is receiving help but it is heartbreaking to see.
Full Time teacher (secondary school) and horrified to watch some of the young people I work with crumble under mental health concerns, their lives have been subjected to so much change that they cannot contextualise. This period we are in now seems to worsen it as there are no firm boundaries or guidelines to refer to. We taught every lesson through lockdown so there are not too many gaps to fill, which I am really grateful for. I know how lucky I am to have. astable job, too.
But
I'm exhausted from listening to and supporting so many young people, and the numbers just keep rising - the mental health implications of this year are only just really coming to the light and there are not enough hours in the day to support all of those who need it. Plus teaching a mix of online and in class lessons - or both simultaneously - and the constant cleaning of rooms, marking online as books cannot come in, and extra duties mean few or no breaks and much longer days.
I genuinely love my work, but have had no time to look after myself; it is relentless. Colleagues look broken.

I am so low. I feel like I am a pressure cooker a it to explode. I have just done a dick thing (I have been a dick, a total dick) which I wouldn’t have done normally, I am putting my marriage under pressure and I am about to explode and crumble. I have always put a front on to cover up depression/anxiety but my support structures have been swept away. I start counselling in a week and I hope my head gets sorted out.

My DD has been brilliant - new graduate, had a job offer which has now been withdrawn and is now stuck at home. She is calm and making the best of it in her own way. She is to be admired.

I hate this F*$%ing government.

Tired. Overwhelmed.

I have a chronic anxiety disorder anyway although I've coped ok Covid wise. I catch myself getting a bit obsessed by figures but will pull it back if I find myself constantly checking.

I am really worried about redundancy despite having a decent saving cushion, no mortgage and a fairly well off mother who would and could always help us. My job isn't immediately at risk so I'm obsessing rather than having a legitimate worry which then makes me feel bad and spoiled.

I hate wfh and having no boundaries. My self care is poor and I have gained half a stone which will be near impossible to lose (thyroid issues which gp say are not bad enough to medicate). My fear of redundancy means I won't take my foot of the work pedal and my own well-being goes to the back of the queue.

I worry about dds. Year 6 and I am stressed about secondary options and dd 2s issues with friendship so it's normal worry on top of Covid worries.

My job is intense and my friends and team are struggling but there is constant pressure to perform to keep things going well. I enjoy some of it but the politics are awful and my working style conflicts with my ability to progress which is stressful. There is a culture of linear progression and I'd be very happy to move sideways but no one seems to want to support this. If it wasn't Covid I'd look to move but I'm not giving up my length of service at the moment even if I could find something.

Oh and dh has turned into a sex machine when I'm starting in the peri menopause. I do like the regular sex and it's made us closer after a slightly rocky patch but ffs, I do need a chance to get in the mood and cannot snap into it when I've just been talking to my mum about how lonely she is (another worry) or have had to referee a fight between dds.

Phew! That was quite cathartic.

I try to count my blessings for all that I have. It’s a worrying time for everyone & i’m longing for normality. One day!

The working week is no different for me because I go to work (albeit more from home now than the office) and then have the same routine after work until bed. I very rarely go out and do anything when I have work the next day anyway, so you can add Sunday the same, my routine is no different.

Friday nights/Saturdays are tough though because it's basically groundhog day of sitting in and doing nothing and my leisure time has been taken away by Covid. Even things you're technically allowed to do have lost any enjoyment (i.e. going to a pub, albeit even that's gone now i'm in tier 3, but i didn't bother anyway).

Therefore I tend to feel more down at the weekend, therefore nothing to look forward to through the working week, except wasting weekends. I'm not too bothered though over winter as i'd resigned myself to that from early in the year. It's more the prospect of this going on for years that's depressing.

I’m just completely fatigued. Mentally drained and physically exhausted, but I don’t know why the latter.

Also, does anyone else feel like they'll struggle to go back to anything like their normal routine, socially, when normality returns?

I'm an introvert and have to really push myself to socialise, but it's often rewarding when I do. However, I think i'll be so stuck in my ways of being sat at home I just won't go out anymore.

I feel like this year has turned me from feeling youthful to being old before my time.

We are fine. Not the most social people before so can't say we are missing things like pubs, meals out etc I was on furlough for almost 6 months and I struggled with having no real routine. However I've been back at work since August and the wee boy has been back at school since the sane time so that has brought back my sense of purpose and routine. Only thing that hasn't started back is the wee boys clubs. Both of our jobs are secure and no one in our families or friends have had covid so we are very lucky

I’m finding this uncertainty a struggle. It feels like feb / March time just before the lockdown hit.
Once in lockdown it was easier, stay at home.
You couldn’t get it wrong!.
Then as it unravelled it got harder to navigate and other people doing stupid stuff stresses me.

I'm raring to go further afield tbh.

I expect it will take some adjustment though. I do think I will long term be wary of others' hygiene!

We missed the equivalent time for three IVF cycles due to the shutdown, then had an early miscarriage. Now have only one or two shots before DP is too old to have another child.

Feel awful being so sad about it. We have a healthy almost two year old, neither of us will lose our jobs and our family are (touch wood) fine. We should be grateful but I am devastated.

Scared shitless. Diagnosed with cancer in early September with secondary tumours. Still waiting for appointment to see consultant to decide on treatment plan, despite being told I needed to start treatment as soon as possible. Worried for myself that the treatment is going to be too late. Desperately worried about the effect it will have on my DH and my DS and feel so angry that I will cause them so much pain.

@EvilPea

I’m finding this uncertainty a struggle. It feels like feb / March time just before the lockdown hit. Once in lockdown it was easier, stay at home. You couldn’t get it wrong!. Then as it unravelled it got harder to navigate and other people doing stupid stuff stresses me.

Just staying at home in March/April I found easy enough because it was very clear. To be honest i've pretty much stayed at home since early March though and feel annoyed at myself for not making the most of the summer. Particularly July and August when things were a bit more normal and cases very low (now it's a tier 3 hotspot and winter is a complete write off).

I've no desire to go out now through the winter, but i'd feel better if i'd made more of the summer. My year has been a complete waste of time and the nihilism is really setting in.