How are YOU feeling? I mean emotionally what with lockdown etc...

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I’m ok, generally happy with some really disorientated days when I feel very out of sorts and over emotional.
I want to know how everyone else is coping, come and voice your feelings, no judgement here.

I am so worried about the economy. I now never watch the news, and just read headlines online twice a day.
We are lucky that dh has a job, my dcs work and we are mortgage free. Plus healthy in our 60s.
My focus is remaining healthy looking after myself and staying calm

I’m okay, actually, in thr main.

I e quite enjoyed the slower pace of life, but I actively dislike this stage, where we are half locked down and half not.

I actually wish we had a clear set of rules for the whole country.

Emotionally, I am drained supporting others, not so much drained for myself.

I just feel flat. Like there’s nothing much to look forward to. Or when I’m not feeling flat, I’m fretting about primary schools being closed again. DS has just started reception and is loving it, it would break me to have to take him away from that and try to home school, which I can’t see going well, frankly.

I just want my mum, but she’s tremendously anxious about the whole thing and whenever I call her she starts ranting about masks and the rules, and brings me even further down.

I’m so weary of it all. I’m dreading Christmas.

I'm working in a social care role in primary care and the "mental health tsunami" has begun to hit my caseload. I have 60 cases open and trying to provide emotional support to a lot of those as MH services are non existent at present. So I'm basically a stress sponge as there's nowhere to refer them to. I've had to take a week off as it was making me physically ill.

I also have a child with SEN and a DM who has spent the last few months visiting all her friends/spending weekends with them and is now on a two week sunshine holiday - I've had no respite all year and it hurts she hasn't offered. Now we're in lockdown so she can't come anyway.

On the flip side I am grateful for being in a fortunate position re work and housing and not affected by food poverty or worse .

My feeling is anger. Angry at the government? No, that's all as I expected to be honest and has not been a surprise any step of the way.

I'm angry that essentially I have had to shut myself away from simple day to day things like popping into a shop to get milk or bread, or get birthday/anniversary cards/presents because it's 99% guaranteed I'll get abuse (yes I physically can't wear anything around my face, don't want to go into it here, but it's nothing to do with breathing, anxiety, etc.). The last encounter was close to getting physical and I don't need that.

The one place I thought there would be understanding, I was told I was a danger to the public. Thanks GP surgery. I've now withdrawn from that and need to find an alternative surgery, as I'm not going in that place again.

I'm all for people going about their day and I like to keep myself very much to myself, but that's not possible anymore.

There are so many shouting that we have to look out for each other and "I'm doing this for you!!", but it's on their terms and should you step outside of their terms, you are fair game.

It's easier to just keep right out of the way and let others crack on with it, but it's not the ideal way to live.

I'm fine, fine, fine. Then every couple of months have an emotional outburst. Normally on / at poor DH.

On the face of it, we're pretty ok despite being in W. Yorks, so have been it extra lockdown most of the time. But there's some underlying frustrations. Mostly with my parents who are 70+. I know they want to see the kids but I'm following the rules pretty strictly and agreeing only to meet them outside, but I know they want sleepovers etc. I'm worried how to handle it if / when we end up not being able to meet up with other households outdoors.

And each day despairing and genuinely angry at this shit show of a government who are to blame for a lot of this mess.

I absolutely have pandemic fatigue.
I should preface this by saying that our physical health and our incomes have been unaffected, so it's not like we've had the worst of it.

H and I both worked right through. 13yo was ignored in her room. I had almost no involvement in her home learning other than a ten minute chat at the start of the day, as managing the 9yo's learning as well as fielding important and sensitive NHS calls all day was as much as I could manage. Work is still really difficult as there's lots of things patients and staff can't do, and so I feel like I'm not doing right by people.

We've been in additional restrictions since August and haven't seen MIL and FIL since then. TBH that's sad but not hugely upsetting for me, but MIL is upset and keeps asking us to come anyway, which I could do without (she'd only 61 and so not in need of care of any sort).

The 9yo's school shut for two weeks a week into term, and there is no after school are until Nov, and so DH and I are having to leg it out of work at 15.00 and pick work back up in the evenings.

I basically have no energy - mental or physical. The house has loads of jobs that want doing, and we're not out of the house much at weekends, but I can't seem to motivate myself for anything that isn't staring mindlessly at a screen.

waiting for results of the dreaded test.
i stopped coughing as soon as i booked it!
we are relocated at work that is pretty shitty, i miss colleagues who i used to work with.
hard to keep cheerful
money is tight
my dm is quite demanding emotionally
just day by day

I'm feeling a bit battered
I work in a patient facing support role and it's pretty tiring as people are struggling and services are poor and not really working properly
Every time we've tried to organise something nice to do it's had to be cancelled so I've given up
The things I do enjoy like a quiet drink in my local, a coffee in my favourite coffee shop are about to stop for a lockdown that I don't trust politicians to only be for a fortnight
I've managed to keep the DC's in school and DH in work for a whole half term and now it looks like they'll be home for weeks and back to rubbish distance learning
DD and DH really struggled with their mental health towards the end of lockdown and are finally back on an even keel and here we go again
I'm tired of it all, very tired
But just keep plodding

Reading all the posts, it’s so helpful to see things from all perspectives. There’s been far too much division when actually the vast majority of people are struggling in one way or another

I'm autistic and life is no different for me.

It's interesting observing how the mainly neurotypical population is coping as they've now been plunged into something that autistic people are dealing with their entire lives - anxiety, isolation, hostile world outside with confusing rules, loneliness, difficulties accessing health and education, strangers being unpleasant, physical discomforts, unsure about the future etc. Imagine living under these rules for 40, 50, 60 years - this is our normal existence.

All the autistic people I've communicated with agree that their lives haven't really changed that much, so we're probably better equipped to cope with things at the moment.

The stress that the general population is feeling by living our experience is something we live with forever by living in a neurotypical world.

a work colleague organised a meal for us but i am not sure it is advisable or allowed, they keep banging on about remembering to keep your distance at lunch/meal times

Pretty upset this week.

It was my birthday last week and usually would have caught up with friends. Problem is all my friends and family live within tier 2 lockdown zone but one of the places that never came down of lockdown ever so I have not been able to socialise with anyone since March.

I work emergency services on a 24 hour response shift pattern which is hard enough at the best of times but I am COMPLETELY and utterly fucked off that we are expected to mingle with the public, in and out of houses all day, transporting them in vehicles and going in hospitals, care homes, any old fucking place for a long shift and that's somehow fine.

But meet my mate for a coffee, nope, outlawed.

How does that make any sense? All I do is work and then do the family chores at home so get back from a long shift and make packed lunches and do a school run then go to bed.

There's nothing to look forward to, it's got to the point I'm doing voluntary overtime just so that I can be around people. Luckily a good bunch I work with who help each other out but I really miss my actual mates.

I'm mostly angry about it all - I'm retired so it has affected my life but not hugely. Missed 2 holidays and less able to see friends but nothing major, no work or financial crap.

But So So angry. Angry about kids and teens not only being denied their lives but in the case of teenagers blamed for it.

Angry and being blamed for the fact that 'we are doing it to protect you' - you can fuck off with that. I don't need protecting. I can do my own risk assessment.

Angry at the divide and conquer strategy. Anger at the fear mongering, Anger at the political point scoring. Anger at the blaming and name calling for people that think differently. Anger that people are blaming each other. Anger that some people think the virus will follow any rules and leave you alone if you only follow the rules. Anger that there isn't any real discussion - that experienced and respected epidemiologists and virologists are not being included in important discussions.

I know it is a serious issue. I don't want to say 'do nothing and let it take its course'. I do want there to be proper open discussion that doesn't resort to name calling and virtue signalling. AND does allow for proper discussion.

I agree with this!

Angry at the divide and conquer strategy. Anger at the fear mongering, Anger at the political point scoring. Anger at the blaming and name calling for people that think differently. Anger that people are blaming each other. Anger that some people think the virus will follow any rules and leave you alone if you only follow the rules. Anger that there isn't any real discussion - that experienced and respected epidemiologists and virologists are not being included in important discussions.

same, i hate it, it is draining

I'm so with you there Juanmorebeer . I'm in exactly the same position. My boss asked if we were prepared to allow more people to come into contact with us, to make them feel better. In the next breath she asked me not to accept a lift from a colleague I work alongside, then told me that 'It isn't her problem how I get to work,' now that I've been seconded to travel further across the district. My response was are you fucking joking? (In so many words).

Flat, despondent, demotivated. Can’t be arsed attitude to most things. Yoga classes helped me a lot mentally and physically pre-lockdown but I can’t muster up the energy to go. I fee for those who have lost jobs, have no financial support, whose mental and physical health has been exacerbated. I’m on the verge of booking flights to get the fuck out of this country over half term for some peace.

Utterly fucked off with it all now.

I think my current mood is very coloured by having to have a funeral in covid times (my mum died suddenly a few weeks ago).

All she'd have wanted is for her kids and grandkids to get together after the servive and raise a glass to her. There are almost 20 of us so the rules mean we can't do this.

I'm saddened that my mum's last few months on this Earth had all this shit going on in the background. She hadn't seen much of her grandchildren, or her adult children because we've all been compliant and followed the rules.

The division is heartbreaking to see.

We've been pitted against each other in every way imaginable - by age, colour, sex, health levels, location, political views, beliefs, values, family situations.

We are becoming more fragmented every day.

What fortran said, but I'd also add living in poverty to that list.

I feel very anxious.

In general, scared and angry. March to August was "Don't leave the house even to empty your bin" and September was "Send your children to school or you'll be fined".

This week has ramped up to terrified and furious. Secondary school aged child has developed classic Covid symptoms; high temperature, headache, fatigue, nausea then chest tightness, cough and rash. We've been waiting 4 days now for test results. I've done everything I was supposed to. Didn't leave the house for months. Then sent my kids back to 'covid safe' schools and now this.

That's on top of the sadness caused by months of people minimising the deaths of people like me. So many posts that talk about how only a few hundred healthy people under 60 have died or are asking is it worth it to save us or want to lock us up so that they can live normally. I know all the rational arguments. I understand that people are trying to make themselves feel better. Or are desperately worried about the economy or people's mental health. But it doesn't stop the feeling that we are a national inconvenience; a set of dismissible statistics rather individual humans with full lives that are worth as much as anyone else.

So if I do catch it and drop dead it will be safe in the knowledge that no-one outside of my family will give a shit because 'she had underlying conditions'.

I feel so much better reading that I am not alone in my struggles I have to say
Counting our blessings yes. We are all healthy and have some savings. I am self employed and have interesting projects

Main breadwinner is Dh but he lost his job in June but has been looking since Feb and nothing. He was also out of work for 18m until this time last year so we have been here before and I am exhausted by it
We have a few assets but not really
I feel anxious and stressed a lot of the time

Gp just put me on anti depressants but I am
Worried that they cause migraines

I miss interaction with other people - zoom isn't the same and we are a family Of 6 so can't have ppl over.

The poster who said

I basically have no energy - mental or physical. The house has loads of jobs that want doing, and we're not out of the house much at weekends, but I can't seem to motivate myself for anything that isn't staring mindlessly at a screen.

This is how I feel.

And me

I will admit I'm struggling.
Before lockdown, I always had issues with anxiety, but they were manageable through going to the gym, doing my hobby, seeing friends and keeping busy with work (I'm a WFH freelance writer and have built up quite a good selection of clients over the past 10 years).

Then covid hit.
I was hugely anxious about getting it because I didn't want my partner to get it as he's older than me - we both ended up with it, which was shit for weeks on end but 6 months on and we're mostly fine, with just occasional breathlessness.
My gym closed. My hobby closed down. I was unable to meet with friends and family. The clients who I worked for were themselves placed on furlough, so if they weren't working, neither was I.
My partner is a keyworker so was working all the hours god sends, leaving me at home alone all day to think - never good for me. All I had was my 1hr exercise per day, but where I live isn't the nicest place (hence my normal preference for the gym).
Then my grandad got covid and was incredibly unwell in hospital, so we had the trouble of not being able to see him, being told he probably wouldn't make it out of hospital, he was given a DNR against our will (he was previously fit and healthy and completely independent even though he was 80) and was told he wouldn't receive any other treatment than fluids and oxygen. By some miracle after a few weeks in hospital and a very long recovery at home, he's almost as well as he was before covid, but it was a terrible time.

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Then, things started getting back to normal. Not with work, that's still shit, but everything else - I could go shopping, my hobby, the gym, see family in the garden etc.

And now, all of a sudden, we're back in tier 3. So my gym has closed, hobby has stopped again. I spent a lot of time out in the garden reading the first time, this is no longer possible as it's raining half the time and just damn cold the rest. We are banned from even visiting family in their gardens anymore.

It feels like I ALMOST got my life back, and now, once again, I'm sitting here on my own, with nothing to do but think.

I put on another thread that if things don't improve I will probably end up killing myself. That's not to sound dramatic, and I've never been suicidal before. I don't particularly want to die now, either, I just can't stand the thought that this will be what life is like for a long time. It's not living.