Was shielding until August, that was awful. Then emerged from that cocoon and thought everything would be fine again. But it’s so very not. Shielding paused but advice is still to keep social interactions low and to avoid meeting people indoors. Additionally cannot self-isolate due to caring responsibilities so therefore avoiding track and trace by not using cafes pubs restaurants or anywhere where track and trace might be needed. Which means still where we were in August, meeting people outside only.
And so much has just gone. The playground is silent when I drop my child at school, no parents and preschoolers hanging around for chats. No church. No toddler groups. Therapists online or on the phone - how on earth do you do an effective physiotherapy session over the phone?
And then the constant constant reminders that people resent doing this for people like us. “Oh but we didn’t mean you.” You do though. You think it’s ok if we die as long as your world gets back to normal. And you forget that it’s not just “the elderly and the vulnerable” who have died. And that those in those categories aren’t all at death’s door just waiting to be pushed inside.
And I’m weary because I know these measures aren’t going to do anything at all. What’s the point of having sage if you ignore their advice? And then meanwhile to sneak in the loss of our food standards post brexit - goodbye British farming, hello chlorinated chicken and pink slime - and now no deal brexit too.
My country is falling apart. My world is falling apart. And all the things I would usually do in order to help me process that are not available.
So yeah. Not doing so well really. Children in school. Keep going. Keep the face on until they’ve gone. Plod through the weekends without doing most of the stuff which made weekends pleasant. Not mega stuff. Just getting up on a Saturday and deciding to go and visit somewhere nice without having had to book it in advance. Going to sit in a cafe and bumping into friends. Just sitting next to someone all squished in together, two families on one tiny table sharing a piece of cake with my friend and children having a sharing plate together.
You know, normality. I miss that. And it seems so very very far away.