How are YOU feeling? I mean emotionally what with lockdown etc...

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I’m ok, generally happy with some really disorientated days when I feel very out of sorts and over emotional.
I want to know how everyone else is coping, come and voice your feelings, no judgement here.

Mentally I'm sad and tired. The monotony and the lack of enjoyment in all aspects of life is tiring.

Physically I'm in pain because I'm working from home but have no space for a proper desk set up so have to alternate between hard dining room chairs or soft sofa to work on.

Awful. I had a weekend a couple of weeks ago when I felt like I was having some sort of breakdown. I could not stop crying, everything was hopeless. My poor kids were worried about me. DH didn't know what to do for the best. I've come round a bit since, I'm thinking that hormones didn't help at that time. I've had my antidepressants increased and I'm on a waiting list for counselling. It's the relentless negative media coverage of everything and feeling like there is no end in sight. I'm forgetting what it was like before this all kicked off and the world just seems to have gone mad.

@devildeepbluesea it's not just the elderly who are desperately ill and dying. I can assure you of that. Sorry but it makes me so angry when people come out with that crap. And even if it was, what's the problem ?

@Liquorishlucy it's not just the old who die from any illness but we can't protect everyone from everything.

300,000 fewer referrals for cancer this year because of covid. 300,000.

I'm trying so hard to keep positive, but the whole thing is just so so depressing. We know a number of friends parents who have died during this period, so it seems relentless.

My DP is terrified of getting it, so hasn't really left the house to go anywhere in the last 7 months. He drove to see his DS10 and wave from the window less than 5 tines from the start of lockdown until last month, and now his DS has started coming back to stay with us EOW.

Our relationship is struggling, as lockdown has brought home to me how little he does around the house, meanwhile he genuinely believes he is a prince among men if he drops the children to nursery once!

Our jobs are fine, and not at risk, and we've saved quite a bit if money during Covid. However, we were both working from home for the first 6 months, and splitting our time to look after our 2 DC under 4, which put a huge strain on things.

The children started back at nursery last month, and my office reopened a couple of months back, though staff are under no obligation to go in. Since visiting for the first time a few weeks back, I'd like to spend 2 days a week there, which DP is resisting as he thinks I'm going to bring the virus home with me. For my mental health and well being, I feel better being away from him as much as I can, as he is such an energy drain.

I've also started socialising a bit where I can with friends (all socially distanced and Covid rules compliant), and he constantly goes on about how I just want to have fun and not prioritise the family for the sake of enjoying myself. For context, the 3 social outings I had with friends in the last 6 weeks were to celebrate my big birthday.

I'm feeling OK but there's always the anxiety in the back of my mind. I'm not scared of Covid at all, but I'm very scared of schools closing again. If schools stay open and I can carry on working I can cope with everything else.

300,000 fewer cancer referrals because of Covid. Yes. Awful. Because of Covid though, not because of the elderly and vulnerable. Because of Covid.

So very tired of being told it’s my fault people are dying of cancer. Because that’s what you’re saying.

I have family members affected both by Covid and by the effect Covid has had on other clinics and procedures.

It’s a mess. That’s partly what happens when you cut back and cut back and cut back and can only operate on a “cancel urgent for emergency” basis.

I don’t see how you can do things otherwise though. You can’t simply ignore Covid. And locally clinics are back up and running, but in order to reduce risks from Covid they can only operate at 25% capacity. The backlog isn’t getting any smaller.

But what’s the alternative? Round up everyone seemed vulnerable and lock them away in a ghetto somewhere? Or imprison them in their homes again? And who does the care if you do that?

That's absolutely not what I'm saying. The decision to pause cancer referrals had nothing to do with you. It was an insane decision taken by the government / NHS senior management. Please don't put words in my mouth.

My country is falling apart. My world is falling apart. And all the things I would usually do in order to help me process that are not available.

^ this. I'm so lonely, scared, grieving

I thought I was doing ok until about 2 weeks ago. I've hit a slump and have started to feel quite gloomy and a little anxious.

I'm quite lucky overall but I suddenly feel our (me, DH & DCs) world shrinking and we are becoming increasingly disconnected. I feel so sorry for the kids. Life isn't supposed to be like this!

I'm dreading the winter months and on my worst days I just can't see things improving afterwards.

I want to use the time well but sometimes completely lack motivation and mostly feel exhausted. It's all just very unsettling.

I realised the other day that I am constantly a bit on edge at work and it's wearing away at me. I'm a TA and I also have diabetes, and it's impossible to distance from the children even if you try. I'm glad I'm only there 11 hours a week even though I love my job.

I feel bad for my children too. I'm just not comfortable eating out and going to trampoline parks etc but all their friends are back to normal. I've made my peace with it but they just want to be out in the world again. I don't know if I should do more things with them now... I just don't know the right thing to do anymore!!

@devildeepbluesea I know. It’s a mess.

But people are conflating the two. Not you, I’m sure. But take a look on Mumsnet generally about how we were all about to die soon anyway and should just accept it rather than selfishly ruining the lives of younger generations.

I think what’s happening to cancer services is atrocious - a close relative had to wait 6 months for what should have been a TWW. Awful. And I think what’s happening to students at uni is atrocious too.

I don’t understand what the govt is doing. I know we can’t stay in lockdown until there’s a vaccine. I know a vaccine won’t be 100% effective anyway. And I know that fiddling around with early closing times isn’t going to make a blind bit of difference. I don’t understand any of it at all, and I’m usually reasonably intelligent.

I don’t see a future without this at the moment. And that scares me. And I recognise that I could probably do with some mental health input myself, and I have no way of accessing that - Because Covid - and that’s not helping either.

And I’m glad you know it’s not down to me that cancer services (amongst others) have stopped. But can you see where others are making that assumption? And how it makes us (me) feel?

The othering since this whole thing began has been staggering.

I’ve had lots of mum guilt. I worked right through from March but my children were at home. As a single parent I couldn’t work and help them with school work so they just had to get on with it. My youngest (11) was just that little bit too young to be left so long each day and although she was fine with her siblings (age 19 and 14 during lockdown) I still felt guilty.

I’m actually struggling more since full lockdown ended. I was quite able to deal with a short term emergency but this drawn out pretend normal is horrible and depressing. I hate masks and having to pre-book everything and that my only chance to escape my house this year for a break is looking very unlikely. Had a holiday booked for November but it’s in a tier 2 area and the two friends I was going to meet are also tier 2. So while I’m still allowed to meet indoors they aren’t 🙄.

So basically feeling tired, fed up, worried about the coming months, guilty for being a single parent, irritable that everything is spoiled. I still don’t know anyone who has had a positive result for C19!

On a more positive note - I’m thankful I’m in a low risk area and can still see my family indoors. I’m making the most of it now in case that changes.

In Northern Ireland here and everything has been closed for a circuit breaker. Im really struggling. I feel all out of sorts. Im really stressed at the thought of dc being at home with no playmates again and nothing to do. The weather isn't helping, a few rain days coming in next week. I need to be positive but its hard.

Business is going under, money worries are settling in, don’t know what I’m going to do really. I wish I could sue someone as I was doing fantastic in January and February and have been hit due to coronavirus.
I’m not entitled to help, just loans but not up for debt really as I don’t know if I can pull it through. (Secretly annoyed by partner is on shit money, irrational as it’s not his fault but I’m still angry about the whole thing)

Sick to the back teeth with it all. DD on her 2nd self isolation from 6th form because someone in her year group tested positive. School insisting on 6th formers being in school even when they don't have lessons massively contributes to the likelihood of this happening again and again. So now she is stuck at home all through half term. Im so annoyed on her behalf. Oh and turns out the kid that tested positive was doing the covid study which is why they were randomly tested, hadnt had any symptoms but in one fal swoop took a while year group into isolation. Fuming isn't the word!

Sad and tired of everything. And guilty for feeling like this and not being ok as my life has been so much less impacted than most people's: I have a job that I have had to leave the house and go to throughout lockdown which means I get to see other people besides DH and DC, DH and I both have jobs that will still exist in the future so financially we are ok, we don't know anyone who has become seriously unwell or died as a result of covid, DC are doing ok all things considered. But I still feel lost and sad most of the time and everything seems hopeless.

Smothered, angry and a little ashamed.
DH has been WFH since early March when he caused a scene thinking he had it. I have not been alone since. I have done the majority of childcare and home ed with no break. I could have skipped out of the school gates just because I had 10 minutes peace in the car on the way home.

DH thinks he is going to catch it and be very ill, he is one of those nay saying doom types. He keeps running up to me telling me the latest news of what I can't do. In addition, every sniffle he thinks he has caught it. I asked him just where he thinks he has picked it up because if he leaves the house once in a week I am lucky. He used to run 8 hrs a week or more. He no longer runs. He no longer washes or grooms himself, he stinks and his hair is disgusting. I am beginning to hate him and have looked into getting my ducks in a row.

I am ashamed because I keep breaking lockdown to see my parents. I don't like my mother much, but I need my Dad and DD adores him. They were both so depressed without eachother. Also, it affords me a small break from H and relentless childcare of a child with some AN, albeit 'mild'. It has ripped our wider family apart because, due to other issues a family member who didn't like me to begin with is threatening to report me if she catches me breaking rules.

If I was younger, had no DH or DC and lived on my own I'd be fine. I need a lot of alone time to decompress. I just need it to end. Oh, and I'd not mind a gig or two.

Completely worn down. Not so much personally but work in a care home and sad that now the weather is colder the residents will have no visits (we were having them outside) Sad that some of them just don't understand why their loved ones don't come any more.

Angry that some of them are missing vital appointments. Sad that we have had to cancel some of their holidays when that is something they look forward to more than anything.

Completely worn out with running a care home during a pandemic, having to do all the usual stuff plus fucktons of stuff re Covid....the rules of which seem to change daily if not hourly.

That feels better!

Thank you OP

Questioning almost all my life choices! Struggling to connect with a teen who is immersed in an online world. Work in a school, so constantly exposed to noncompliant teens and staff. My responsibilities have changed - job now pretty horrible. Have anxiety over various physical symptoms - a mixture of chronic issues and menopause. This is not the world I wanted to grow old in, or the one I want for my children; feel complicit in not doing enough to change things but have no idea what to do now. I don't even feel like I want to see friends anymore; there's just nothing to say.

For us it was pretty good. DP and I have been very lucky in our jobs, it would be quite unlikely we lose them. DD (16) was a bit down early on but got very good GCSE results and started 6th form in September (loves it).
DMIL moved in with us on 23 March and went home in July, she’s doing good too (86). We do worry about her though as she is quite isolated.
I’m just dreading winter though, I have a feeling it’s not going to be a happy few months in the country. But I do count my many blessings.

A bit shit. My family are all locked down in South Wales and I'm in a tier 2 area in England (not allowed to mix indoors with anyone). I've only seen my family once since Christmas.

I generally cope by staying busy and not thinking about Covid, but I was fighting back tears watching Strictly last night. It really brought it all home.

In a very high risk area here and am worried sick for my DC in year 11 and 13 who both have exams next year. DS1 has had six days face to face teaching since March . He's currently on his second two week imposed self isolation. He's 18 in a few weeks. DS2 has also been sent home.
The rest I can cope with.

I'm ok (ish)

Bad things: I'm scared of catching it as I'm obese so as well as being scared I feel guilty because I know that being higher risk is my own fault. I live in a tier 3 area and work with SEND children who bite and lick things so struggle to be "COVID safe" in my working life. I'm worried about the economy and I desperately miss and am worried about my family, who don't live nearby.

Good things: my job is secure, I'm not sociable so don't mind staying in evenings and weekends, I don't mind wearing masks and SD and can do this long term if required. I'm very, very busy so don't have much time to dwell on being lonely. My family are all healthy and following the rules so 🤞🏾have a higher chance of staying well.
My work colleagues and kids are fab and funny so I don't get lonely or bored. My Ds is happy and coping well.

So on balance I'm luckier than most and counting my blessings but good grief this is getting old now isn't it???

Sending hugs to everybody who needs them.

I keep having moments of rage/sadness

• At the fact we are now ruled by committee, and parliament no longer gets votes (democracy has ended, will we ever get it back? Serious question. Or will we continue to be ruled by a committee of unelected chums)

• the fear mongering: the fact that the unelected committee that now rules us had as step 2 of it’s plan: use media to give citizens a feeling Of immediate personal threat, so they are more likely to comply with the new rules.

• the fact I have not seen my parents since Christmas and I may not see them for a year/years as they live in a different country

• the fact that my kids’ lives are a bit shit, being in y11 and y13... what if they need to isolate the day before exams start? They are missing out on so much, in terms of education and fun and just growing up

Saw V for Vendetta with DS2 the other day, the scene where they explain how they ended democracy and stayed in power and got rid of civil liberties and freedom was straight out of the Covid handbook. I am not a conspiracy theorist, the parallels just made me go and and (I know it’s just a silly movie)