Monday will be the second worst day of my life

[Crunchymum]

Sorry for the very self indulgent thread, I posted a few weeks back and had a lot of support.

Monday is my mum's funeral.

She died suddenly 4 weeks ago and I still cannot believe that in two days we'll be cremating her.

Not even sure why I'm posting. Maybe I just need a good old fashioned hand hold

Not sure how I'll do this.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I know you are trying to be strong for your siblings but make sure you give yourself time and space to grieve.

So sorry

Oh bless you .

You will manage on Monday, you'll rise to the occasion and make your mum proud.

I’ve been there 💐💐.
Some things that helped me and things that looking back a few years, I wish I’d done.
Firstly, eat.
Obviously I don’t know what time your mum’s service is, mines was 11.30am. I never ate anything, was too anxious. I felt ill all the way through, so eat something before you set off even if you think you cannot face it.
I also had something of my mums in my pocket, it was her hankie, it really comforted me (plus hankies don’t get as tear sodden as tissues).
It WILL go really quickly, try to (and I may not word this very well), take it all in because looking forward I treasure the words that were said at my mums service.
It will feel very weird afterwards, the period between your mum dying and the funeral is somewhat surreal and often feels “like a bad dream’ and of course you’re ‘waiting’ for the funeral, but then the funeral happens and you then realise ‘it’s done’ and you may then think ‘what the hell do I do now’.
The bereavement section here on MN is an incredibly kind and supportive place, come and talk to us there on Monday and in the days, weeks and months after.
Be kind to yourself and remember, it doesn’t matter if you only take little steps through this awful, gut wrenching grief period, but do keep moving (eating, caring for yourself etc).
Kind wishes to you x

I feel like a toddler I feel like on Monday I'm just going to stand on the spot, stamp my feet and scream "I DON'T WANT TO"

You know what, that would be ok. And if you were my relative or friend, I wouldn't judge you or be frustrated, I would just want to wrap you in a hug.

I'm really sorry for how much pain you're in. Losing your mum is shit.

I can remember standing at the flight to go to Denmark telling my daughter I had not wanted the morning to start as I didn'twant it to be the day I had to fly back to Denmark for my mothers funeral.

The actual funeral was helpful though helped me accept she had gone.

So sorry I remember your last lost x

I’m so sorry - sending virtual support - flowers and wine xxxx

So sorry for your loss, I lost my dad suddenly last year, huge hugs to you x

Really sorry for your loss OP

May I add a hand hold as well.
OP, it is a cliche, but it is true - grief is the price of love. You are so sad about your mum because you loved each other.
Don’t let the funeral be entirely about loss and grief. It can be a celebration of her life and a thanksgiving for the love she gave you. A chance to share lovely memories of her, with her family and friends.
Grief is not forever, but love is.

Sympathies, OP.
On the day, you may well find you go into automatic pilot and feel a bit numb - I know I did for my dad's funeral.
However you feel, it's what you need to do - so go with it.
I'm thinking of you.

I organised my Dads funeral. I found I literally took the day half an hour at a time and forced myself to hold it all together. I'm sorry you have to go through it. I think it's one of those things that nobody can ever explain how it feels until you have been there.

I’m so so sorry OP. Good luck for the second worst day of your life

On the day, you may well find you go into automatic pilot and feel a bit numb - I know I did for my dad's funeral.

^^I did for DM’s funeral it’s like I wasn’t really there. But there were 200 people there, a covid regulations service would have been quite different I think 😞

So sorry for your loss hope the good memories are there to get you through xxx

@Crunchymum you probably know this as you have organised, but I was at a dearly beloved family member’s funeral a week ago & I was knocked sideways by how few people were there. In theory I knew about Covid restrictions of course, but it did make it all feel very bleak & I wanted to rage & swear about all the people who damn well should have been there & had forgotten her after a lifetime of service to others. Of course the rational part of me knew it was Covid-related, but funerals aren’t rational! Just a heads up ... that said I found having something to rant about inwardly quite helpful.

I too am newly bereaved, although my lovely mum died many years ago.

You will get through it, although it will be hard. Stay in the moment, take deep breaths and be nice to yourself.

You can do this, but I'm so sorry you're having to x

Sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you have lots of support on the day. Really good of you to protect your siblings, but dont take on too much, you're grieving too.

How are they coping? Are they very young?

So sorry for the loss of your mum.

I’m sorry. Losing a parent is the worst. You will get through it, but take it a step at a time. I wrote a letter when my father died....and read it to the Dog who gave me a big (revolting) lick. I probably wouldn’t recommend that part of it.

So sorry Op

Sorry to hear this OP. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I lost my mam many years ago, very early 20’s so can empathise with your loss. It is heartbreaking.

As a pp mentioned, it will be over fast and a celebration of your mums life and hopefully you’ll get comfort seeing her other loved ones.

I went to the doctors and was prescribed a Valium as I felt like I wasn’t sure how I’d get through the day- it was surreal. Not sure if they can do that now, however I’m sure if you have an understanding Doctor, they’ll perhaps give you something?