Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.

[SeasonallySnowyPeasant]

He cleaned my windows for the first time today after doing my neighbour's and knocking on the off-chance. The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van?

Then he started texting me this evening. It started off normally and then got a bit strange. He wanted to message me pretending it was time for him to come back again, 'to build his confidence'. I thought he had a new automated reminder message system he wanted to use but no, it was just him sending a text. Then he wanted to try it again.

This guy has my address and my phone number and it's only me and the kids at home. I'm a bit freaked out. Any ideas?

[quote SettingFloundaries]@thebatman you need a hobby love 🤣🤣🤣[/quote]
Eh, this IS my hobby!😂🦇🤣🦇

[quote CleanQueen123]@ilikemethewayiam other women definitely don't get it sometimes.

When I told my mother and sister, my mother was of the "Well maybe he just likes you. I think he's brave for putting himself out there" school of thought. My sister could see why it made me uncomfortable and agreed that if he did anything again I should report it to the management company and his employer.[/quote]
Sadly that sounds exactly like what my Mum would say 🙄

Mine needs my phone number because there’s no access to my back garden so he has to make an appointment so I’ll be home to let him through to do the back.

So strange! And a little funny. I'd definitely text to say no longer need the services and then block. Couldn't be dealing with that.

Honestly, I would say mild learning/social disability. I work with kids who have special educational needs and this strikes me as a classic case of socially awkward/ not understanding boundaries sort of thing.

As for the comment 'seriously Forrest Gump' that's just damn rude! He had learning disabilities and wasn't some weird creepy stalker.

As someone who supports people with a learning disability and history of offending behaviour - to use LD as an excuse to harass someone is not on. Someone with a LD can also be predatory. The "oh what a shame, he has an LD, let him clean your windows", is not only offensive to people with LD, but avoids accountability for unacceptable behaviour.

Someone with a LD also has to be held accountable for unlawful behaviour.

Be very careful. When living on my own about 8 year ago I was caught out by my own window cleaner a young lad who did everything by texts. I'd agreed to every month originally and then he text to ask if I wanted to increase my timeslot to a weekly basis. I told him no I was happy with the monthly slot and he repeated "So your happy with that?" to which I agreed. However while at work neighbours told me he had cleaned windows at times I didn't agree too. I messaged wondering what ahs gone wrong and he told me I'd agreed to weekly cleans and now owed nearly £200 as he hadn't been able to contact me earlier (a lie) and that he had only recieved the monthly payment by bank transfer. I made it clear I hadn't agreed and. Would only pay the monthly one but he began to get agressive swearing on phone and threatening to come round to get his money. I contacted police who went to see h and turned up to tell me it was a civil matter as he claimed I'd agreed and they couldn't prove that he'd been agressive or that I didn't agree as his messages said otherwise. That was until I showed them my side of the messages and they realised he'd deleted intermittent messages thought the conversation so it sounded like I was agreeing with his weekly plan. After outing him on social media other victims came forward and he was eventually charged with fraud. If you trust your window cleaner fine but if you don't then you need to make sure you keep a copy of all messages and don't fall into a trap. I was threatened to have my.windows put out and everything I ended up having to move so I would advise you don't play those games with him. Mine was a bit more sophisticated because he didn't ask for any fake messages but he guided the conversation with the intention of getting enough messages to convince people a contact had been entered.

What's "social disability" out of interest?

Social communication disorder?
Autism?

@Itisbetter

Social communication disorder? Autism?

Never heard autism referred to as a "social disability" to be honest.

That’s odd @VanGoghsDog it very definitely is. HTH

Not to sound cruel or discount others views and experiences, but why are many posters saying he obviously has, or must have, a learning disability of some kind? It sounds like the term I can’t recall for making excuses for bad male behaviour based on no information at all to say he does have any disability. There are many men who are odd yet nt. There are also well known kinks on this ‘good boy’ thing as well as the whole piss a woman off to get her to ‘tell you off and humiliate you’. At first it read to me he may just be strange. Then the all night messages and the pushing the context into a more ‘I’ll be a good boy next time mistress’ tone (in his mind not the ops), reads to me like a man who is very talented in this method to get women to play to this fantasy whilst seeming very innocent. It’s how it reads to me. He says he isn’t confident yet continues to message someone and crosses boundaries? That isn’t the action of someone lacking confidence in my view. So whilst we don’t know either way (my opinion is my own and all of yours is yours and just as valid), the op simply has a right to feel comfortable and safe and not harassed in her own home. And she can do this kindly but firmly and leave it at that. She doesn’t need her husband to back her up nor to be cruel necessarily. Just to be clear, save the messages and block. Or since he has her address, to not block but monitor the messages as someone else said before me incase he sends something about coming to do the windows. Then the op can message a final time and say along the lines of ‘I have requested you X number of times now not to message me nor come to my home to do windows. This constitutes harassment and should you turn up at my home or continue to message me the police will be notified. This will be my final cease and desist message before the police will be involved’. Simply put we don’t know his reasons for his behaviour but we know it’s making op feel extremely uncomfortable so she has the right to do whatever she needs to feel safe.

Lockdowner13

Awkward op. Just another thought, could it be a form of ocd? I suffer from ocd and believe me it’s not all about cleaning and washing hands. Mine is the type where I have to check I’ve done the right thing over and over. It could be as simple as writing a birthday card or an email. I do behaviours that seek approval. Eg ask my husband to check, take picture of the card etc. Most of my habits are under control and I take medication and have had cbt. I’m in a good place now. Something about his texts didn’t seem right and reminded me of this seeking approval behaviour.

I did think this also as I have the same. However I keep my discomfort to myself and my loved ones who understand how to help me, rather than messaging strangers obsessively. So even this doesn’t fly with me. I often ask my fiancé for example does he have the shopping list and does the list have this this etc etc and if I get confused or interrupted I have to start again, or my compulsive tendencies will creep in and I will check and double check with him. Or I will tell him what I have done during the day several times to be sure (it makes sense in my mind at the time). Luckily I have also learned to minimise these behaviours and he is hugely patient and understanding. But I wouldn’t consider doing it to strangers and it’s just another man baby-ing excuse. Does your disorder cause you to message strangers all night after being told not to? I doubt it