Marvellous. The new window cleaner is... odd.

[SeasonallySnowyPeasant]

He cleaned my windows for the first time today after doing my neighbour's and knocking on the off-chance. The Spidey senses started tingling a bit when I politely pointed out to him that he'd left his stepladder up in the middle of the road and cars were having to stop and wait to go past it. He'd done it on purpose apparently - something about ladders on top of his van?

Then he started texting me this evening. It started off normally and then got a bit strange. He wanted to message me pretending it was time for him to come back again, 'to build his confidence'. I thought he had a new automated reminder message system he wanted to use but no, it was just him sending a text. Then he wanted to try it again.

This guy has my address and my phone number and it's only me and the kids at home. I'm a bit freaked out. Any ideas?

@AncoraAmarena

I’m with you. Irritates the shit out of me when people think their opinion is soooo valuable and original that they must post immediately without reading the thread or anybody else’s contributions. I always think if you don’t have the time to read other people’s responses or, failing that, the time to at least scan the OPs updates, then have some manners and realise you don’t have the time to reply to the thread either. People do it on some sensitive threads sometimes and it’s just so self involved and ME ME ME ME ME.

I’m probably a very bad person but I’ve got a horrible feeling that he was texting you with one hand and doing some quite different with the other.

Abort.

Wow what a thread! I hope you are ok OP. Try not to worry too much. You are doing the right thing by not blocking him, you wouldn’t want to miss a message that he’s going to do your windows on x date then suddenly find him at your window. I think yes some difficulties but also that he fancies you too. If he messages again get husband to ring from your phone telling him you have someone else and not to message again. Maybe he’s been recently sacked and is desperate for money, but he needs to learn the trade from someone else not through constant messages which sound a bit desperate. I feel sorry for him, sounds lonely but you don’t want to spend your time worrying about him texting you seeking approval.

Honestly, those who laughed at those messages and thought they were 'scary', maybe you have learning difficulties too...
How sad to be so terribly judgemental.
Pot meet kettle.
Someone continueing to push a boundary when they have been told to stop repeatedly is something some people will find scary. Saying that those that think that maybe have learning difficulties is ridiculous, offensive and "terribly judgemental"

Never read a thread like this ever, agog, and it is what RTFT and read All OP's posts were invented for.

The only suggestion he has LD has come from posters who haven't met him. Yes remarks like "Forrest Gump" are unacceptable, but he went from acceptable behaviour "please reassure me I did a good job for you" to REPEATED requests to be wished goodnight and asking to be told he was a good boy

That's not LD that's a man with poor communication skills desperately attempting to get the OP to provide wank fodder.

The OP has handled it better than I would and deserves praise not criticism, and anybody trying to superimpose concerns for disabled men they know in real life are missing the point. People are also imposing the idea he is young and vulnerable but he is older than the OP as stated, and as stated drives a van and runs a business unaided. This is not the scenario people are inventing.

Requesting reassurance if he was worried he did a bad job is fine, turning a conversation sexual with a customer you met earlier that day after repeated requests to stop texting is not. He fancied her, and ignored her boundaries, simple as.

@TooMinty

I'm also intrigued about your window cleaner needing your phone number though. Ours just shows up whenever he fancies, washes the windows then knocks on for money. Comes back later for money if we are out. I don't even know his name!

Exactly the same here and also at our previous address.

@Carriecakes80

My nephews both have LD and like some others have said, they are really going to struggle with nasty folk like some of the folk in here, laughing behind their backs as they try to survive in a brutal world. Honestly, those who laughed at those messages and thought they were 'scary', maybe you have learning difficulties too... How sad to be so terribly judgemental.

He was harassing her. Messaging her throughout the night even after she asked him several times to spot. That is likely to be quite unsettling. And the "maybe you have learning difficulties too" comment is just too ridiculous for words

stop*

@LagneyandCasey do you happen to live in West Sussex? If so, I know the very man you’re talking about and in fact I used to go to school with him 😁

@TooMinty
Yep, our window cleaner is exactly the same. A total law unto himself, but he does a great job. We don’t know his name either 😂

@ilikemethewayiam other women definitely don't get it sometimes.

When I told my mother and sister, my mother was of the "Well maybe he just likes you. I think he's brave for putting himself out there" school of thought. My sister could see why it made me uncomfortable and agreed that if he did anything again I should report it to the management company and his employer.

@smilingontheinside

Ancora (or should that read anaconda🤔) not proud just stating facts. I have a busy, stressful life and whilst trying to wrangle a divorce, house move, a job, wayward tradesmen and a sick animal I took 5 mins to chill and look at mn. As I explained after my first post I had not read the whole thread nothing proud about explaining that. You though obviously have nothing better to do than nitpick an explanation and from that explanation know how I'm feeling? You have no idea and folk like you are probably the reason many don't t even bother to post on MN for fear of nasty impatient holier than though comments. If I wasn't of the generation that was taught not to use really bad language in public I could write some well chosen words to describe how you must be feeling about yourself. Now you will probably reply with how I want everyone to feel sorry for me, but just stating facts so that you know that I'm feeling lots of things, proud to have not read a whole thread isn't one of them though you sanctimonious prat.

Oh do stop.

There is no excuse for it. It couldn't be simpler to read the OPs posts. Your opinion is not so important that you had to reply without bothering - you're the impatient one here. Did you not think that maybe, after 14 pages it would have moved on from that first post? How about you think of how fed up the OP must be (and IS) feeling instead of yourself.

If you're concerned, why not ask your neighbour how long he's done their windows/their impression/etc. It does sound like he might be on the spectrum and suffers with lack of confidence and high anxiety bless him. Box of Xmas chocs sounds nice :-)

I'd ask your neighbour for window guy's name (if she knows it) and did you get the reg of his van? You can look on YouGov to see if it's taxed and MOT'd.
If he texts again I would reply that your husband would rather not have him texting every 5 minutes.
Just do the windows at any time in Dec, put a bill through your door with his bank sort code and account number and you will pay him that way.
Take a clear photo of him and his vehicle (showing the reg plate) and ask at your local police station (or ask for a home visit) to see if he's a recognised person on their database.
It could be worrying.
On the other hand he could be genuine but have some mental health issues which make him act that way.
Either way ... be proactive and do not let strangers know that you live alone.
Buy s hand pair of men's rigger boots or well worn cement covered boots to keep in your hallway, in full view of anyone knocking at your door.
Even better if you can hang a large work jacket over the newel post at bottom of stairs.
You could tell him that your ( pretend) hubby/ partner has a redundant mate who will do them in future.
Talk to your neighbour to see how he acted with her/ him.
Good luck 🍀

@DeaconBoo

This is exactly how men use sympathy to push boundaries. Not that anyone could really tell for sure either way as it was a really odd request to "let him practice his text messages" but you dealt with it well OP!

SOME men, ffs.....

Oh! APOLOGIES.
I did read quite a few comments but only just read the one where you mention your DH. I wrongly assumed that you lived alone after your initial post.
I might add that having LD does not stop anyone from feeling knocked back and annoyed if they don't get what they want.
They are just as capable of bad or scary acts as anyone else if the trigger is set off.

Another one whose advice is more valuable than anyone else’s 😂😂😂

My WC does not announce his arrival, usually before 8am. It depends on weather, about every 6 weeks or so and puts bill through door which I pay by bank transfer before he's done. It's worked well for 10 years and in all that time he has not put the price up. I do know his name as it's his family business and on Checkatrade.

To whom it may concern (and you know who you are)
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Hats off to you OP. All handled with aplomb. Hope today is going well.

Pur window cleaner was a bit pervy!
I lived with my grand parents during my teens. She had vertical blindes instead of nets/curtains and they had to be open during the day.
Anyways; sye never ever called up to me that the window cleaner was here. On more than one occasion; I walked into my bedroom wrapped in a towel and proceeded to get dressed. I'd turn around and there he would be, up his ladder just watching me! I was only 16-17 at the time.
My grandparents thought it was hilarious - I started getting dressed in the bathroom!

Women with LDs are more open to sexual abuse off all men and it is ignored because of these over facilitating attitudes

Again, SOME, not all, SOME men....

Honestly though, why do men think that's an acceptable way to behave?

And again, SOME men, not all, SOME...

@SeasonallySnowyPeasant was quite surprised then to see my thread screen shotted, I hope we didn’t come across as too strange on the thread, which is more than I can say for people on your thread

@thebatman you need a hobby love 🤣🤣🤣