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Original poster

I don't know where to put this but DH is sick and we are in bits. *MNHQ edit to ask posters to read update before posting*

256 replies

PandaBearBear · 06/10/2020 22:36

It has been such a shit year. DH has been so sick, numerous times I've been told he probably wouldn't make it then he seemed to make magic happen and got so much better. Now things have gone downhill really quickly and he is back in ICU on a ventilator and I am having to have the same conversations with doctors that I didn't think I would have to have again.

We have 2 DC, who are 8 and 2. I am a mess but trying to put a brave face on for them. 2yo obviously doesn't grasp exactly what is happening - just that daddy is in hospital again. 8yo is anxious and sad, much clingier but trying to be brave.

I just want to stay in bed until this is over.

How do I help my children through this? And how do I get through this?

He may well recover, I have seen him make bigger miracles happen than this. He also may not. Either way all 4 of us are still so traumatised by this year that this is a huge blow.

Just looking for some advice or even just for someone to tell me a nice thing thats happening in the world.

OP posts:
Enko · 19/01/2021 23:06

so sorry op.

feelingfree17 · 19/01/2021 23:06

So very sorry for your loss x

MrsLangOnionsMcWeetabix · 19/01/2021 23:16

So, so sorry Panda. I’m no use at finding the right words for stuff like this but this internet stranger is thinking of you and your family Flowers

ArabellaScott · 19/01/2021 23:17

Flowers I'm so sorry, OP.

gg12346 · 19/01/2021 23:22

www.maggies.org/
contact them OP .They might be of some help tp you.

Colouringaddict · 19/01/2021 23:22

Panda I am so sorry to hear this update. Sending love and light to you and your family

butterfly990 · 19/01/2021 23:24

Sorry for your loss. I was desperately hoping for good news.

I am a widow, brain tumor. I joined a group called WAY (Widowed and Young). It is a charity that offers support and friendship to those abd their families that were under the age of 50 when their husband's, wives, partners died.

Big hugs and the main advice i can give is to take things minute by minute. There is no right way to grieve. I found it helpful to spend an hour or so looking through old photos, listening to my partner's music and having a good wallow. It allowed me time to let my emotions be free in a safe environment. The trick though is to climb out of the wallow and carry on with chores, daily life.

Big hugs xx

Bluntness100 · 19/01/2021 23:26

God, I’m so so sorry op, I also have no words. 💐

Lucieintheskye · 19/01/2021 23:26

So sorry for your loss OP. I hope things have settled a little now, and that you have support in real life. Your poor children. They are so very lucky to have a strong mother to look after them. You are strong, you can get through this, it will get better. Just take it one day at a time. It may feel like you'll never get through this, but time heals all wounds and with time you'll be able to cope better.

If we can be of any help, even if it's just to rant at us, or swear, or you want some advice, we're here.

So sorry Flowers

olympicsrock · 19/01/2021 23:26

Sending love ans strength. Sorry for your loss. You will be happy again. Xxx

gg12346 · 19/01/2021 23:28

So Sorry for your huge loss OP, sending hugs to you and your children Flowers

CookieDoughKid · 19/01/2021 23:29

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your dh is now in a peaceful place and no longer suffering.

dublingirl66 · 19/01/2021 23:31

So sorry

Sending you all best wishes xxx

JustWatchMe · 19/01/2021 23:32

So sorry for your loss 💐

Feedingthebirds1 · 19/01/2021 23:33

Panda I'm so sorry. The pain of bereavement is one of the hardest pains to bear.

I know, as you do, that you have to be strong for the children. But in doing so, please don't neglect your own grief. Try to find opportunity, maybe if the children can go to your mum's, to give yourself the time and space for your own mourning. Your loss is great, and you matter too.

mowglika · 19/01/2021 23:36

So sorry for you and your children OP. He was really young, life isn’t fair, but we pick ourselves up and carry on. Your children will help you through this, and you them. My best wishes for you all. Flowers

idontknowaboutmortgages · 19/01/2021 23:38

I'm so sorry Panda bear Thanks

MrsSiba · 19/01/2021 23:41

So sorry to hear this and sending all love to you and to your beautiful children 💐

Although we are strangers, you have shared your grief and we are here to listen, to hear you. Please give yourself time to grieve. You have been so strong throughout and will continue for the children. Please promise to look after yourself too 💙

Serin · 19/01/2021 23:45

I'm so sorry. May he rest in peace.

redastherose · 19/01/2021 23:48

So sorry for you and your DC's loss Thanks

Mamanyt · 20/01/2021 00:03

My heart with yours.

Fair winds and following seas, Dear Man. Fair winds and following seas.

reader108 · 20/01/2021 00:11

I'm so sorry Panda sending huge hugs. Face each hour at a time can I recommend Winston wish for you all

SatishTheCat · 20/01/2021 00:23

I am sorry for your loss, sending warm wishes. Flowers

Jarline · 20/01/2021 00:38

I'm so so sorry for your loss xx

KenAdams · 20/01/2021 00:41

I'm so sorry. I remember reading your post originally. I can't imagine how you must feel.