I don't know where to put this but DH is sick and we are in bits. *MNHQ edit to ask posters to read update before posting*

[PandaBearBear]

It has been such a shit year. DH has been so sick, numerous times I've been told he probably wouldn't make it then he seemed to make magic happen and got so much better. Now things have gone downhill really quickly and he is back in ICU on a ventilator and I am having to have the same conversations with doctors that I didn't think I would have to have again.

We have 2 DC, who are 8 and 2. I am a mess but trying to put a brave face on for them. 2yo obviously doesn't grasp exactly what is happening - just that daddy is in hospital again. 8yo is anxious and sad, much clingier but trying to be brave.

I just want to stay in bed until this is over.

How do I help my children through this? And how do I get through this?

He may well recover, I have seen him make bigger miracles happen than this. He also may not. Either way all 4 of us are still so traumatised by this year that this is a huge blow.

Just looking for some advice or even just for someone to tell me a nice thing thats happening in the world.

@tara66 there has been an update, please read the thread to the end.

So sorry op. Love to you and your family.

I’m so sorry to hear this.

I'm so terribly sorry Panda, that's just bloody awful

I'm sorry to hear he passed away, my condolences on your loss

@PandaBearBear I'm so sorry this is just so sad. I don't know if you've been directed there already but Winston's wish and Child Bereavement UK are great resources for you to help support your children.

I am so sorry to hear this. I will hold you all in my thoughts.

So so sorry for your loss OP

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you have good RL support.

I am so sorry for your loss. Life can be so cruel sometimes.

I’m so sorry OP. He was so young. Please look after yourself. There are charities that can help your children understand. Thinking of you.

So sorry to read this OP, sending hugs and positive thoughts to you and your boys xxx

That update must have been unbearably hard to write. Thoughts are with you and your family, and may your DH now rest in peace x

a huge bear hug

Sending you inadequate virtual hugs, OP.. I hope you have lots of real life support around you.

I'm so sorry Panda. There's an excellent charity called Winston's wish that made a huge difference to a child relative who lost a parent. It might be of help to your DCs in time

If he is persistently vomiting i imagine that the hospitals will be trying lots of tests. Have you ascertained which foods he can keep down?

@percheron67 please read ops updates before commenting

I’m so very sorry for your loss @PandaBearBear

Oh, I'm so sorry. I'd hoped you were going to have good news. Much love to you and your children. I'm very sorry for your loss .

So sorry for your huge loss, sending hugs to you and your children

I'm so very sorry.

Oh no. Best wishes and hugs. Take it an hour at a time. Must be so difficult for you.

I’ve been through unexpected and sudden bereavement and found Cruise immensely helpful. They also do (or used to) do a special service for children who’d lost a parent. They were great with ds1 as his biggest fear was that something was going to happen to me too.

So very sorry OP. I hope you've been able to access some real life support?

So sorry, OP.

Oh Panda, I am so so sorry for your loss!! I nearly lost my husband several years ago (ventilated/coma/fighting for his life) whilst I had a small baby and young child. It was so tough. Thankfully he pulled through, but I feel so sad for others less fortunate. I hope that you and your children are coping as best as you all can under extremely difficult circumstances and that you are getting the emotional and practical support that you need. Another lovely Mumsnetter lost her husband today and another has a husband on a ventilator. Some of them appear to have gained support from each other. Could something like that be an option? X