How do you manage PE lessons with an unsporty child?

[zigaziga]

When I was at school I saw PE as ritual humiliation and the whole thing put me off any exercise or sport for a long time.

The whole thing made me so angry - the “cool” kids were those who were good at sports etc etc.

Anyway, my first DC has started PE at primary school and is already very aware thanks to the other children that he is slower than everyone else and that he can’t catch or throw..

As the parent now, how do I deal with this? What am I supposed to say ahead of sports days and things? All I know is that my own parents were very party line about everything and would have just said it’s taking part that counts and of course that doesn’t help at all.

I’d like to be able to share with my child my own biased views that unless you’re the 0.01% who can make money from being athletic, it’s far better to be good at English and Maths and languages but I don’t know if sharing my own prejudices at such a young age is at all appropriate and of course it could make things worse - it would be best if he does actually try and maybe eventually find a sport he is semi decent at. Plus, I know how I’d feel about a parent sharing with their child that they think maths is pointless..!

So how do you handle it? The idea of him struggling at PE and feeling embarrassed day after day throughout school is heartbreaking.

Are you projecting your own issues and insecurity?

I was unsporty as a kid. I was last in every cross country, useless at netball, hockey, athlectics, etc. I was never once embarrassed or humiliated.

As an adult I found my sport and represented GB at international level.

a martial arts trial lesson sounds great.

op I find it really pisitive that you identified a pissible issue and are working to make things better for your dc👍

I'd like to be able to share with my child my own biased views that unless you’re the 0.01% who can make money from being athletic, it’s far better to be good at English and Maths and languages

My parents did this with me, to reassure me that it didn't matter that I was rubbish at PE. I am glad they did. PE, in the form of sports, is shit if you're not good at competitive sports or enthusiastic about it. Once we got to secondary school I enjoyed non-competitive fitness activities like trampoline, aerobics, dancing, using gym equipment etc. But at primary school it was nearly all team sports which I hated.

Of course physical activity is important, but it doesn't have to be in the form of sport! I would work with your kid to find a form of exercise he actually enjoys, and sod the bloody PE.

Surely it's possible to be good at English and Maths AND be able to catch a ball and enjoy running around 🙄

Surely it's possible to be good at English and Maths AND be able to catch a ball and enjoy running around Of course it is. My DH is one of those people. Some people are all rounders.

@CornwallCucumber ah I love this. I mean I will preserve and try with him extra hard but there is a big bit of me that just thinks that actually that moment when your parents let their guard down around you is kind of quite important too? My parents never did around me and it never really helped as I didn’t feel like I had an ally growing up.

Surely it's possible to be good at English and Maths AND be able to catch a ball and enjoy running around

Yes, of course. It's a total myth that kids are divided into the academic types who hate sport and the sporty types who do badly in other lessons. Lots of the sporty kids are just as bright and good at academic subjects as anyone else. And plenty of kids who hate PE are no stronger at academic subjects.

Then let your dh teach him the sporty stuff and back off. Hearing about parent's problems isn't thst helpful to 4 year olds. When they are teens you can have a decent conversation about it.

What is this obsession with balls??

Being fit and active and finding a sport that you like does not have to involve balls.

Yes some people will improve their catching/throwing ball skills with practice but there are also some that won't! And you have to be motivated to want to improve, some people find ball skills boring.

There are plenty of non ball sports!

Because kids play with balls and it's nice for them to be able to join in?

My mum said to me when I moaned that I was hopeless at PE and game, "Never mind, I wasn't any good either."

This made me feel no better and I think it gave me a let out that wasn't useful at the time.

I vowed never to say anything like that until my kids had experiences enough of their own. So older teenagers!

Hearing about parent's problems isn't thst helpful to 4 year olds. Why not - I mean unless you're in the old fashioned "parents should not be friends with their kids" camp then being honest about your own weaknesses and being real with them (in an age appropriate way) means that you then have this genuine connection with them like you do with any other close friend or family member, rather than putting up this perfect façade for them to look up to.

What is this obsession with balls?? Yep, other than throwing a ball for my toddler to catch or whatever, there hasn't been a single time in my life where throwing or catching a ball has been a useful skill after leaving school.

Exactly sally!
Honestly, if the OP is still scarred by school PE, then get some therapy to deal with it or move on. Your ds doesn't need to hear about it.

Kids play with balls in the playground and most primary sport is based around it. If you don't mind your kid being left out, then don't bother teaching them how to play.

I'm a great support to my teens but I didn't spend their young years telling them about all the things I'm shit at.

I threw the ball with my kids and the frisbee.

Tbh if they had any perception of expertise whatsoever I was busted by my low performance levels. We had a laugh though.

I'd talk about my brother being a cricketer though and just generally show it was an option if they wanted to practice.

My mum had a very absolutist view of talent and I just don't personally think it was at all helpful.

I totally shocked her once I left home and took up outdoorsy stuff. I was meant to be the non sporty one..

Both my DDs are sporty but I can't say I remember them having particularly good skills at catching or hitting a ball in reception or probably not until they were seven or eight or even older. I remember them going to tennis classes in summer and not being able to hit a barn door with the racquet, let alone the ball.

I also remember that hardly any of the other little kids were brilliant either. I can't imagine any of them are amazing at throwing and catching in reception class.

The important thing is that they are fit and healthy. Kids should be running around and very active whatever it is they are actually doing.

Honestly, if the OP is still scarred by school PE, then get some therapy to deal with it or move on. Your ds doesn't need to hear about it.

Oh for God’s sake, I’m not scarred by it. School was not pleasant but I’ve moved on and have a nice life.
My 4 year old had become very aware that he is the slowest in his class (also the smallest .. maybe that’s also my fault?!) and I don’t want him to go through what I did. This is why I’m thinking about these things now. Until my DS started talking about it I never gave much thought to old fashioned PE teachers and their methods and the school bullies.

I’m literally just asking how I handle this. I am not scarred of traumatised or in need of therapy. My DS is a bit upset about it and I’m upset for him. I can’t magic him bigger or stronger.

Talk to his PE teacher if they are giving him a hard time.

Tell him once he stop caring what they think, they will stop bothering him because they can’t get a reaction out of him.

@zigaziga, I sincerley believe I was dyspraxic but managed to hide it. Kids were so competative and being able to throw a netball through a hoop was the height of achievment.
All utter nonsense really.

@zigaziga, I sincerley believe I was dyspraxic but managed to hide it. Kids were so competative and being able to throw a netball through a hoop was the height of achievment.
All utter nonsense really.

thowing a netball (quite heavy for a small child) up high/through the hoop is a great mix if coordination and upper body strength. why wouldn't you encourage your child to give it a go?