To not feed DC the Father Christmas lie

[PeterRabitting]

Not looking for the MN angry responses of "let children be children for gods sake" etc etc but interested in hearing the intellectual views of any parents who've handled "Father Christmas" differently from the 'norm'. The reason is, I have a friend who has raised all her DC telling them there is no such thing as Santa from the outset. It has intrigued me a bit, as a mum of a baby. On the one hand part of me thinks that it's terribly sad and my friend's DC are missing out on the magic etc. But in the other hand her reasons do make some sense to me. She and her DH are atheists and so she argues that in the same way she tells her kids the science of life (eg she doesn't tell them there is such a thing as heaven) why would she fool them into thinking Father Christmas is real. She talks to her DC about FC as a belief / story that some people believe, in the same way that some people believe in different religions etc. She leaves it open for her DC to believe if they choose to, so she doesn't say it's "nonsense" but she just says some people believe it. She said her DC are critical thinkers and would question things like the scientific possibility of flying round the earth etc etc anyway.

She also says that her way encourages gratitude, mindfulness and an appreciation of the value of money because her DC know that their gifts come from mummy and daddy through love and hard work and do not magically appear / are not made by elves. My friend says that she installs a sense of magic into her DC through all the lovely family things they do and spending time together.

I'm uncertain but it intrigued me as I too am an atheist and if I'm not trying to persuade my child that heaven exists then why would I persuade them that Santa does? On the other hand... "let children be children"!

Does anyone on here "do Father Christmas" differently / not feed their DC this story?

It's always struck me as unusual when I've read (only on MN) how upset and angry children have been when they've learned Santa was the parents.

I look back and am warmed by the effort and care that my parents put into it. Especially my dad who was quite a mentally abusive twat a lot of the time.

But I look back and see the effort they went to to give me those magical christmases and I so love doing the same for DC.

Nothing quite beats the excitement of Christmas Eve and going out and putting out the reindeer food and searching the sky.

Each to their own if they don't want their kids to have that. But it's truly a highlight of having kids for me.

And I do hope once mine are old enough they see how much DH and I enjoyed their younger Christmasses and that we did it all for them to make it magical.

DD1 is 7 so I'm not sure how many more we have believing. But I think with this year the way it's been we'll go a bit extra this year.

@differentnameforthis

"Atheist but still does Christmas I bet, when traditionally it's about the birth of Christ?"

I'm an atheist. Christmas is the best time of year.

Nothing at all to do with Jesus in our house.

Santa and trees and decorations and songs and family and food and presents.

I hope your Christmas is only about Jesus and you don't go in for any of the non-Jesus pagan stuff like us Atheists do! No trees or gifts for sure.

"It is also absolutely correct that some British folk customs have descended directly from pagan rituals, such [...] the giving of presents and decoration of homes with greenery at midwinter.”
Ronald Hutton (1999)3

Gifts are very much a part of the nativity story. As an atheist, I wouldn't think pagan rituals would be an more attractive than Christian ones - all a form of superstition.

I presume PP who say Christmas is about Jesus go to church on Christmas Day?

@Slightlybrwnbanana don't be ridiculous. Gift giving is part of being human

Minniemountain maybe read the thread and work out if you might be ridiculous? I was replying to a poster who said Christians should not partake of pagan parts of the festivities - No trees or gifts for sure

We've never done it, but ds wanted to believe last year.
We're Jewish though not religious, and I just don't feel comfortable with it.

I apologise @Slightlybrwnbanana.

Thank you

If everyone should do Father Christmas because magic and so on, then why not St Nicholas Day putting out shoes for sweets? Why not a whole heap of other traditions? I think parents should be able to choose what traditions they want to do, or not do, in their family. There shouldn't be pressure to do any particular one just because it is popular.

As a teacher I have seen children absolutely distraught insisting Father Christmas was real because "Mummy wouldn't lie to me". So, we told our children it was fun to pretend and a nice tradition, but no, it was not true

We are an atheist family. We celebrate the midwinter festival - the turning of the year. We celebrate exactly the same as Christmas, with decorations, gifts, food and lights, FC was just an additional story added on to the traditions, like the birth of Jesus. My children treated both as just a nice extra, none of them have grown up scarred for not 'believing'. Much like the tooth fairy, they all knew it was really me...

Oh I have no issue with anyone doing anything that makes them happy on Christmas.

Certainly that's exactly what we use it for.

A lovely break in the middle of winter to be together and spread some happiness.

What I do take issue with is Christians claiming the rest of us shouldn't enjoy it. Because we don't go to church.

Because it's not "traditionally" Christian. Started long before then.

Gifts are very much a part of the nativity story.

Yeah, but where in the Bible do you find the information that this all took place in winter? That bit is a later adaptation which helped Christians to fit into the expectations of contemporary society who already had a tradition of gift-giving at this time of year.