Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 3

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Previous question: Why is the swimming pool viewing gallery so hot?

Answer: Because the temperature controller is broken. It will get progressively hotter, then colder, then hotter... much like my shower at the moment!!

My question: How long will it take for THIS thread to fill up?

You have looked at all the websites possible and exerted your options because he is fussy, and the only thing left to do now is search the dark web.

What shall I plan for mine and DP’s anniversary next month?

A canoe trip at midnight
Will I get anything nice for my birthday ?

Caving but without any lamps, ropes or other safety gear. And naked.

How many cups of coffee can DD2 (17) drink today?

3 more pet badgers, a canoe, a pack of face masks and a non refundable holiday for next week to Spain

What would you do with £100000 right now?

(pointy DD will drink 6 cups of coffee per hour until 8pm)

80moves oh, you've met her?

I would buy more coffee, obvs.

Why am I turning into a metalhead in my old age?

Because plastic music isn't as good.
Also your neighbours are so horrible that you like to treat to them to classic Lordi & Metallica at 5.15am at the weekend.

Why did McDonalds stop selling Root Beer?
(It was my favourite cold drink)

As they aren't licensed to sell alcoholic beverages.

What shall I watch on tv

The gathering dust on the top edge

How on earth did I get an infestation of flies in October, and why is it so hard to find fly paper?

Because your DBro has bought the entire UK supply and is taking pictures of it. Probably with a view to winning the Turner Prize.

Should AuntieStella start a circus involving trained flies?

No more than 6 flies

When will I feel less stressed and teary?

When you get a pet badger, drink a non-alcoholic root beer & invite us all round for a cuddle.

Why has my cat started to look/stare at herself in the mirror?

She is planning a makeover, quite fancies a ginger tabby dye job

Why cant I sing in tune any more?

You never could; maturity is bringing better self awareness

How can I get the sinister stain out of the carpet?

Frighten it to death or just failing that throw some Lambrini on it.

Why do children (DD in particular) nick your clothes, make up, nail polish etc?

@AuntieStella should put up her Christmas tree AND advent calendar.

Yes, September is the new December.

What snack should I prepare for Santa this year?

Blow, missed a page.

Children steals clothes etc because you have such amazing taste they want to share it with their friends.

What snack should I prepare for Santa this year?

Sparkly rainbow carrots and absinthe.

Will my arm drop off due to flu vaccine?

No you will grow a third arm & gain immunity from Covid & the charms of Boris Johnson. (Form an orderly queue here please 😂)

Why won't my cat go to the shop & buy me a bottle of wine?

It has no ID.

Why not smile at a crocodile

Because that’s how crocodiles indicate they’re ‘in the mood’...

What do flat earthers think stops all the seawater running off the edge of the planet?

Bookends!

Why do only fools and horses work?

Because this time next year, they will be millionaires.

When is a tractor not a tractor

When it's a falling to pieces rot(ten) cart reversing.

Why hasn't anyone invented a real life pair of Dorothy Gale's sparkly red shoes? 👠
(just imagine the cut in traffic pollution)

We have, but they're a closely guarded for secret for the chosen few

What shall I read next?