Answer the question above you. Wrong answers only. PART 3

[bearlyactive]

Previous question: Why is the swimming pool viewing gallery so hot?

Answer: Because the temperature controller is broken. It will get progressively hotter, then colder, then hotter... much like my shower at the moment!!

My question: How long will it take for THIS thread to fill up?

1000 degrees Celsius
What does the dark side of the moon look like?

Pink Floyd.

Will my washing be dry by the time I need to pack my suitcase to leave tomorrow?

It will if you get it out of the swimming pool now.

Will anything interesting happen during the swimming lessons today?

in parts. The jeans will be bone dry but all your lightweight t-shirts will remain damp along the seams and arrive smelling faintly musty.

Will my children stfu and stop talking at me?

In swimming lessons ,Santa will visit to get the children's Xmas lists , socially distanced,
No they will never ever shut up
How long will it take too walk to Timbuktu in stillitoes ?

57 mins if you wear flip flops or 18 months if you wear Louboutins.
However if you take part in the Marathon des Sables you will be there in 8 mins & 9 seconds.

How do I cure my wasting time on my phone problem?

Throw it out of the window
How many bees are there in the average hive ?

Alphabetically speaking, none!

If Boris has three tiers for England and Nicola has 5 for Scotland, what will be the price of a pint in central Manchester tonight?

£7.50 if you eat a substantial meal with it
I have so much to do why am I sat mumsnetting ?

Because as I've told you before I'm one of your multiple personalities.

I've ran out of loo roll AIBU to ask the neighbour for a spare one?

Only if you've pre-booked an appointment to knock on her door. She might be busy carving a chicken into a hundred portions

Why whenever I cook something new the children reject it?

Because fried slugs were a step too far.

What will happen to all the giant turkeys if no one can have a big family Christmas?

The giant turkeys will have a massive family Christmas themselves & then jet off to The Canary Islands for NYE, They will ask the Canada Geese for a lift but if the Geese are busy the Turkeys will borrow steal Airforce One. Trump won't notice as he'll be too busy stamping & shouting like a toddler when he loses the US election (hopefully)

Is there anything that I've forgotten that needs adding to my Sainsburys delivery order?
(Btw my lovely neighbour lent me a loo roll)

Could you get me a bottle of prosecco and a couple of tins of spiced squash and red pepper soup please.

Does buying a house make us grown ups?

No, just heavily indebted children.

Is @TracyBeakerSoYeah going to give that loo roll back to her neighbour?

Yes the empty tube
Do you scratch an itch or itch a scratch ?

Scythe

Can I order food for my DD in Cardiff?

Yes treat her to a Fortnum & Mason Deluxe hamper or 3 to cheer her up.

Can I nuclear bomb Covid please?

Hands ,face ,space
What will the next COViD catchphrase be ?

"Use your GHDs to iron your shirts"

Why has my daughter looked at me very strangely whilst I was 'ironing' her school shirt with my hair straighteners, as the proper iron broke today?

Young people today ,don't know they were born!
Does anyone really enjoy a zoom meeting ?

Yes, the people who turn off the sound and play cards online while their boss is wittering on.

What colour should I pick for my bedroom walls?

Black with silver stars
Why is cleaning the oven such a horrible job ?

Because you annoyed the cleaning fairies and they have left you to do it yourself.

Why is my bed saggy in the middle?

Because your neighbour's boxer dog sneaks into your house with a badger, deer, fox & squirrel & use your bed as a trampoline.
They like to re-act the John Lewis Christmas Advert 2016.
However your cat & tortoise think they are right numpties & are secretly filming them to put on TikTok later.

Will Donald Trump behave himself during the TV Presidential debate with Joe Biden in Nashville tonight?