Song lyrics that infuriate you

[JimmyJabs]

I'm sure this has been done before but I just heard Moonlight Shadow on the radio and it's set me right off. "4am in the morning"! A.m. MEANS morning, Oldfield, you oaf. It's tautological and really pissing annoying.

Also, Razorlight's woeful effort "I met a girl, she asked me my name, I told her what it was".

Share your annoyances so that we can all be enraged too!

@JustAPassingFashion - that's what I thought it was too.

That Rockabye one by Clean Bandit:

Oooh love
Nobody's ever gonna hurt you love

Stunning 🤨

James Aurther - Say You Won't Let Go:

"We danced the night away, we drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up
Then you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute, I was stone-cold sober
I pulled you closer to my chest
And you asked me to stay over
I said, I already told ya
I think that you should get some rest
I knew I loved you then"

So she threw up, turned round (and smiled??),most likely with vomit all over her face, but James thought..."man, I love you"

Also irritates me how he barely opens his mouth when he sings. Just a sort of rolling whine.

@somewhereovertherainbutt

Interesting and makes sense

"I smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd

I can't believe anybody complaining about this very selfless, gentlemanly act memorialised and celebrated in song. Obviously, he's trapped in the middle of a great mob of unsuspecting people, he's just done a horrendously loud, noisy fart that made everybody else fall instantly silent and he simply has the common decency to warn them all that it isn't just an empty threat but that it will have teeth, so they should make a run for it quick-smart whilst they can. He himself, of course, isn't as lucky, as the 'host' of said deep unpleasantness and will have no option but to stay and suffer alone.

Seriously, a really nice guy does a very kind thing and actually gets blamed for it on here

Yes Simon wrote a few action songs in his day

Remember him on the water wheel in Wild boys

"Remember me? I'm the one who had your baby."
"What?!?!?! No! Please do tell me more - I need to know about this."
"Remember me? I'm the one who had your baby."
"I know, you just said. That's a huge bombshell and we really need to talk and make some practical plans that work for both of us and the child."
"Remember me? I'm the one who had your baby."
"Yes, we've established that. Please start at the beginning and tell me everything. It's a massive shock and I had no idea, but I promise you, we can come to some workable arrangement."
"Remember me? I'm the one who had your baby."
"Have you anything else to say? This is really important that we deal with it ASAP."
"Remember me? I'm the one who had your baby."
"Are you a stuck record? Do I need to put 50p in somewhere or turn you off and then on again?!"
"Remember me? I'm the one who had your baby."
"Actually, love, shall we just forget it and say that I DON'T remember you at all - must have been somebody else who looks like me."
"Remember me? I'm the one who had your baby."
^"Goodness, is THAT the time?!?!"

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll I think the point at which you'd have to give up is when she just starts babbling "Ding-dinga-ding-ding-ding-ding". You'd definitely start to wonder if this baby actually existed anywhere outside her fevered imaginings.

If anybody has never seen this 'critical review' of Alanis Morissette's song, you owe it yourself to do so right now

Aerial held high calling, 'Come on thunder, come on thunder' from Sometimes by James, I've always thought, surely it should be "come on lightning", still love the song though

I think the point at which you'd have to give up is when she just starts babbling "Ding-dinga-ding-ding-ding-ding"

Ah, yes - I'd completely forgotten the babbling at the end. I wonder if she sued the Crazy Frog for royalties when he blatantly ripped off her artistic creation for his own financial gain a few years later.

BA Robertson's To Be or Not To Be...

Some like the sun
They'd be a Barbadian
We think it's fun
Here in Stratford on Avion

Its Avon you fool. No amount of amusing lyrics and fun songs (and personal niceness) makes up for that - it is heinous.

(Doffs cap @Miljea

I saw elsewhere posters mentioning Up The Junction by Squeeze. And yes, the incubator bit is naff, but I love the song and think the bit near the ending - “The devil came and took me, from bar, to street, to bookie” is a pithy description of how his life went to shit after they split. And whenever I hear that terrific drum roll at the very start I get a little feeling of happiness that the song is about to start.

Even Sting has said he’s baffled when people choose Every Breath You Take as their favourite love song as he says it is definitely not a love song.

The one I always shout about at the radio is Bruce Springsteen.

Got a wife and kid in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back

Bastard

@OPYourMingeIsShowing

The Sweat/Wet travesty is Jordan Knight (ex-NKOTB) Give it to You... I don't mind that song 😳 But yes the lyrics are unmitigated shite

Surprised no one has mentioned the cringeworthily bad "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier" (The Killers)

Nonsensical tosh. There is no link whatsoever between soul and soldier except a similar initial sound, just as in:

I've got toes, but I'm not a toaster;

Or Bill Bailey's take on it:

I've got ham but I'm not a hamster!

I've always loved Thin Lizzy's 'Jailbreak'. 'Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town..' Yes Phil, I imagine it'll be at the jail.

I've got toes, but I'm not a toaster

Candy by Robbie Williams - all of it, but especially ‘she’s got low self esteem and vertigo, she thinks she’s made of candy’. Wtf? Fuck off Williams.

And this gem from Bumford and Sons - “so tie me to a post and block my ears, I can see widows and orphans through my tears” can also fuck off.

I've got toes but I'm not a toaster

Life -deseree

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

"I smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd

I can't believe anybody complaining about this very selfless, gentlemanly act memorialised and celebrated in song. Obviously, he's trapped in the middle of a great mob of unsuspecting people, he's just done a horrendously loud, noisy fart that made everybody else fall instantly silent and he simply has the common decency to warn them all that it isn't just an empty threat but that it will have teeth, so they should make a run for it quick-smart whilst they can. He himself, of course, isn't as lucky, as the 'host' of said deep unpleasantness and will have no option but to stay and suffer alone.

Seriously, a really nice guy does a very kind thing and actually gets blamed for it on here

Not sure Simon can blame The Reflex lyrics on booze or a fart though...

"The reflex is a lonely child, who's waiting by the park
The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover, isn't that bizarre?
And every little thing the reflex does
Leaves you answered with a question mark"

Seriously if I was Alanis M I'd be furious that everyone bangs on about one stupid song of mine and yet ignores the entire Duran Duran oeuvre.

Sweet Caroline by Neil diamond. "Good times never seemed so good". I just wish he hadn't used good as an adjective twice. Lazy writing! I do like the song but that just grates on me

@ItBurns

James Aurther - Say You Won't Let Go:

"We danced the night away, we drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up
Then you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute, I was stone-cold sober
I pulled you closer to my chest
And you asked me to stay over
I said, I already told ya
I think that you should get some rest
I knew I loved you then"

So she threw up, turned round (and smiled??),most likely with vomit all over her face, but James thought..."man, I love you"

Also irritates me how he barely opens his mouth when he sings. Just a sort of rolling whine.

Yukky naff lyrics. I agree.

I'm contrast I love that Kate Nash song from years ago with the lyrics "oh, no, you got sick on my trainers, I only got these yesterday....I don't wanna look at your face 'cos you're making me sick..." Nothing like honesty in a relationship