Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits

[WhatdoIdo2020]

Have name changed.

Several years ago I went on a tour of a country I've always wanted to visit. A very beautiful yet poor country with amazing wildlife. I had an amazing time and the guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We stayed friends on Facebook and have spoken a few times since then.

Anyway he's just contacted me on Messenger and said that all the tours have been cancelled because of Covid and he's starving. He had a child who he'd saved up for to study abroad and the child recently died in an accident over there and now he's got no money and wasn't able to bring him home for the funeral.

I'm not sure what to do. Just giving? There's another one of the people on the tour who I'm still friends with on FB so I might ask if she's heard from him too.

I feel awful 😥

OP, I know several people in less developed countries struggling to survive even though - shock horror - they have mobile phones and WhatsApp. If you want to, or are able to, help this person and your instinct is that he's for real, a few quid can go a long way. The mean spiritedness and, frankly, racism that I've seen in this thread make me very depressed.

Depending how well I knew him and where he was etc I think I might send £20 then I’d block him. I know that sounds weird but that’s what I’d do.

Having a phone and using Western Union or similar does not automatically mean he is scamming.

scammer419.wordpress.com/scam-victim-stories/

I'm helping a waiter that I met last year in the Caribbean, the hotel is shut and they have all been laid off.

I'm not sending much but I hope it's helping a little.

I offered, he didn't ask by the way.

The way to deal with this is to get in contact directly where you can verify what is going on. Maybe try and find a third party way to get help through etc. Maybe post directly on their page as scammers often just work through DM. Did you have an independent email for them etc - just dig a bit and see how you feel

I'd be wondering 'Why me?'
He must have met thousands of people whilst running these tours.
You don't honestly think you're one of a chosen few that he's genuinely 'friends' with surely?
Well, actually you are. You're one of the chosen few. The chosen few he thinks he can manipulate. I bet there are a few hundred of you actually, with all his 'touring'.

So people genuinely believe that someone going through a hard time would randomly message someone who they were a tour guide for several years ago, who they essentially haven’t spoken to since? Really?

Bearing in mind the OP didn’t even know his wife had died and that was several years ago it’s fairly clear they didn’t have anything close to a friendship, let alone that he would message randomly saying he was starving and had fallen on hard times.

Jesus, I seriously can’t believe how gullible some people really are.

There are plenty of charities abroad where you can help several disadvantaged people, and they’re not scammers.

How are people on here been racist????

Just catching up. So he sent me a message two days ago just saying hi Whattodo and I replied back saying I hoped things there are ok and he's well. Not thinking anything of it and then he replied saying things are tough and he's starving.

We haven't spoken much really, the tour was years ago and when he added me (and the other girl plus another young couple on the tour which comprised mostly of older people) I posted a message on his page saying I hoped he was well and I missed Madagascar. Got a message a few years ago saying Happy New Year and said the same back and that was it. He doesn't show up on my page because of the algorithm but I just had a look. Nothing posted by him but several tagged in posts by others and I can't understand them because they're in Malagasy. He's got over 700 friends but only a handful have western names the rest appear to be from Madagascar.

He recall he did mention the dead wife and one child when I was there, just in passing but mostly was telling stories about life there, the customs and beliefs etc.

He's in his 50s I'd say not a young guy. I'm married, it's my anniversary today actually but I've not put anything on FB about it because I've been too upset about this.

My friend hasn't seen the screen shots I sent her yet. I called the guy in Madagascar friend in my post here, was going to put acquaintance but it seemed a bit cold. True I only knew him through this tour. The poverty there is awful, I remember sitting eating on the tour bus at night and tiny children running along the side of it banging on the bus asking for food. I gave them some of mine because I felt so bad.

I do have a couple of other friends who are tour guides in countries that rely on tourism. One had posted on FB about how the tours had all been cancelled because of Covid but she hasn't asked for money. I think her family are quite middle class though so perhaps they're ok and I think things were picking up again recently.

I guess this has just brought home how quickly circumstances can change and how lucky I am to have a (hopefully secure) job and live in the UK. Some others are not so lucky.

Sorry OP I feel this was designed to pull on your heart strings

@AlternativePerspective

Of course, this thread could be a scam. Or designed to see who would donate for the benefit of future scams.

You post a thread saying that someone on FB is in a difficult situation and should you set up a justgiving page... Loads of people come back saying “scam” but loads come back saying “I would give,” and then if you’re lucky some will even send a private message saying “your poor friend, I would really like to help them, how can I send you some money?” Posting a thread like this is a sure way to find out how susceptible people actually are to being scammed. Even if the thread itself wasn’t designed to do that, anyone having scamming in mind could read it and be encouraged that many people will give them money when they play their hand....

Yep. An excellent point.

I'm amazed how many people would blithely send money to a vague acquaintance off the back of a social media request. No wonder scamming is rampant ~ beats working for a living!

You seem pretty trusting of him OP. If I was you I would verify the son passing away - surely he/his friends have Facebook, or the university website, local new sources etc. See if you can make that link

Apparently, the cost of food is about £20 per day. So even if you gave him £100, you'd only be 'fixing' food for 5 days. Whether a con or genuine, your money isn't going to help him unless you're very rich.

So, you met several years ago and added each other to facebook, as you do. And since then you only ever had one message from him saying happy new year, and since then nothing, until this message telling you how hard things are.

I don’t know if google translate reads malagassi sp?) but you could try putting the messages on his fb between him and his friends into google translate to see what they come up with.

But given you’re not actually friends, the idea that he would tap you up for cash, even indirectly,.

As for the poster throwing around the term “racist” what rubbish. The idea that it’s racist to suggest that people messaging from the third world is ridiculous. Fact is that most of these scammers probably aren’t even in the 3rd world, but are from soffisticated outfits and using the 3rd world as a cover to pull on the heart strings.

people are far more likely to give to someone saying they’re in a country with serious deprivation than a western country which in the scheme of things is perfectly sound.

It might be a scam but it seems equally likely to be legit. People are definitely suffering in this pandemic, especially if tourism is their main source of income. In your shoes I would give him whatever you can easily afford. If he's genuinely in dire straits I would hate to ignore his need.

Sorry to say, but that has the signs of his account being hacked.

I work in a church office, we had an email apparently from one of our members.
The first email looked innocuous.
"Hi Witchend, How's things going at this difficult time? "

He's a lovely chap, it's been a very difficult time for us and him and it is the sort of thing he writes.

So I replied. "Hi, Not too bad, hope things are okay with you? Look forward to seeing you when you next pass. Witchend."

Got back: "Yes, a difficult time. I'm struggling in a lot of ways, and it's difficult to get help."

This was when alarm bells rang to me. I knew he'd been in regular contact with the minister and other church members and if he needed help, it would have been there.

Turned out he'd been hacked.
People who replied to this one then got a story of financial hardship (which isn't his difficulty) -still not asking for money, I don't know anyone who got further than this, but I suspect that would come.
But the financial difficulty he apparently was in was plausible if you didn't know him very well. They'd clearly spent some time looking at the emails to find out some things about him, and were dropping the information carefully.

So tread very carefully if you decide to reply.

It might be a scam but it seems equally likely to be legit

What qualifies it as 'equally likely to be legit'? It's a social media message form someone she barely knows and with whom she has had no contact for years, that, apropos of nothing, alludes to extreme financial hardship. His timelime shows nothing posted by him for ages, so he's not an active facebook user, so has very possibly been hacked.

There is of course a very small chance that it is genuine and in his time of need he has unfortunately mimicked the exact strategy of a very common internet scamming procedure. But I cannot imagine how this is "equally likely to be legit".

If you genuinely believe it's him then send him some money.

I'd be very sceptical unless you can verify this story independently.

To me, it sounds like a scam and it's by no means the first time I've heard variations on a similar theme. Be wary.

My dad apparently sent an email like this. Those of us who knew him well knew instantly it was a scam. An old email account had been hacked. But he travels a lot with work to quite volatile places so it was, to some who knew him less well, semi-plausible. I know my cousin's daughter (his great-niece) was concerned but she sensibly contacted me and I could say it was rubbish.

You have to make a choice.

You can not give the money.

Or you can give it, knowing full well it could be a scam, but also that it could help. You have to accept that it might not be true, and make your decision anyway.

I have been, and still am, in this position with friends in India. I made the decision to help them, and decided I was prepared to accept that they might be taking advantage, because I know they also might be telling the truth.

If you decide to give, don't give a huge amount and dont give regularly. Make it clear it is a one-off and they mustnt ask again. If he asks for the repatriation there could be evidence of that he can show.

People on here are very sceptical and scams are indeed rife, but these desperate situations do occur. If I was in a desperate situation I might also ask for help.

@BigBadVoodooHat

It might be a scam but it seems equally likely to be legit

What qualifies it as 'equally likely to be legit'? It's a social media message form someone she barely knows and with whom she has had no contact for years, that, apropos of nothing, alludes to extreme financial hardship. His timelime shows nothing posted by him for ages, so he's not an active facebook user, so has very possibly been hacked.

There is of course a very small chance that it is genuine and in his time of need he has unfortunately mimicked the exact strategy of a very common internet scamming procedure. But I cannot imagine how this is "equally likely to be legit".

I would take it to be equally likely to be legit because OP knows this guy makes a living from tourism and everyone knows this industry has come to a crashing halt. I remember from going to uni in France that there were quite a few students from Madagascar so I guess it’s common for people to send their kids abroad to study.

Action Against Hunger is active in Madagascar. I'd much rather support a cause like this than an individual who might not even be who he purports to be. I wonder if there's a way to direct him to help from them?

www.actionagainsthunger.org.uk/africa/madagascar

Google Malagasy to English translator if you want to check out the FB posts. I can't say how accurate it is, but it gave correct translation for the handful of Malagassy words I happen to know.

It has all the hallmarks of a scam tbh and most likely he's been hacked, but a little research might help you decide.

Sounds like you barely, barely know this person. Even if it's really him you're speaking to, you don't know if what is being said is true.