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Original poster

Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits

465 replies

WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 09:47

Have name changed.

Several years ago I went on a tour of a country I've always wanted to visit. A very beautiful yet poor country with amazing wildlife. I had an amazing time and the guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We stayed friends on Facebook and have spoken a few times since then.

Anyway he's just contacted me on Messenger and said that all the tours have been cancelled because of Covid and he's starving. He had a child who he'd saved up for to study abroad and the child recently died in an accident over there and now he's got no money and wasn't able to bring him home for the funeral.

I'm not sure what to do. Just giving? There's another one of the people on the tour who I'm still friends with on FB so I might ask if she's heard from him too.

I feel awful 😥

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
VickySunshine · 12/09/2020 12:05

They all start off by not asking for money, then they feed you a sad story and when they think they've got you on the hook they sting for your cash and , of course, you never see that money again, just another begging message a few weeks later until the penny drops and the all of sudden they ghost you. You could try talking to their embassy or the Foreign Office but you are almost certainly being played. And of course you feel upset, thats the point. Delete and block.

Curioushorse · 12/09/2020 12:05

So I spent several years working in a similar country, in Africa. I don’t know how most of the people I met there in the tourist industry can possibly be surviving. The person who was your FB friend MUST be in a mess, because how on earth can he be earning money? Yeah, he may well literally be starving. I have sent out money to people I knew. I know it’s genuinely them. OP, what have you got to lose- even if he’s been hacked? £30 would feed him for a couple of months, but you’ll probably barely notice it.

HannahStern · 12/09/2020 12:06

Obviously, you need to determine whether this is real or a scam.

Remember that this is mumsnet, a world where every DH is a cheat, every friend is toxic and every cry for help is a scam. You might die very lonely and bitter but at least you won't have been taken for a mug.

zafferana · 12/09/2020 12:06

Completely agree you should contact the tour company you used before you do anything at all OP. If this is a scam they will, I'm sure, be well aware of it. If it's not and the guides they are using are actually starving they should be organising some sort of Go Fund Me relief effort.

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 12/09/2020 12:06

@vodkaredbullgirl

For posters who say donate, why don't you donate too??????
Haahaa! Too right! It's a scam, OP.
ancientgran · 12/09/2020 12:07

If he was really starving, then he'd sell his phone to get food. Total scam. In a poor country where people are starving I wonder how much he'd get for a second hand phone? If he could even find a buyer.

Genevieva · 12/09/2020 12:08

I wonder if there is a charity in his area you could point him towards and then give a donation to that charity.

ancientgran · 12/09/2020 12:11

For posters who say donate, why don't you donate too?????? I don't know him, don't know his name so it would be a bit difficult. I have sent a decent donation to help with the situation in Yemen so I do give.

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/09/2020 12:13

Just ask the op, im sure she could tell you.

ancientgran · 12/09/2020 12:14

Shall I ask for the money back from the Yemen?

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/09/2020 12:17

If it through an organisation then no dont ask for the money back.

SockYarn · 12/09/2020 12:17

I have sent a decent donation to help with the situation in Yemen so I do give.

Assuming that you sent this through a reputable charity though, not to a random person from the Yemen you met once on holiday several years ago and haven't heard from since? Hmm Or did you just ask Western Union to send a couple of hundred quid to an office in Yemen and hope for the best?

slashlover · 12/09/2020 12:17

conversation.which.co.uk/money/facebook-account-hacked-posing-scam/

It's well known as a scam.

Theimpossiblegirl · 12/09/2020 12:21

I would proceed with caution, OP, this could well be a scam.

But...I had a similar message from a family I met in Morocco and sent £20, not much for me, I could spare it, but enough for them to get some food in. They sent pictures of the food shop (pasta, rice etc.) and haven't needed to ask again as they have had food parcels since. I would send it again if needed. I would have rather be scammed a small amount than think of them starving for the sake of a few quid.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/09/2020 12:23

I had a request for donations from ... of all things ... a struggling airport transfer service I once used, but at least they didn't include a dead wife and child in the scenario

If you really want to help a disadvantaged nation then by all means donate to a suitable charity, but for pity's sake don't get involved on a personal level like this ... it's the biggest scam of the lot and the script matches exactly

Nat3kids · 12/09/2020 12:23

A bit sad to read some of the reactions to this. Of course it could be a scam but on the other hand it could well be true because tourism has collapsed in many countries. I would try to send back and forth a few messages to get a feel for whether it really is your guide sending the message (maybe mention some things that only he would know) and then, if it is, send some money for food. Even if the whole story isn’t true people must be in a desperate situation as there is high dependence on tourism.

Wnikat · 12/09/2020 12:24

Personally I would offer to send some money for food (if you can afford it) to the western union in the place where he is. In his name, so he’ll need his ID to collect it. If he’s been hacked and it’s a scam then they’ll want another payment method and you can judge then whether it seems suspicious

AlternativePerspective · 12/09/2020 12:25

Of course, this thread could be a scam. Or designed to see who would donate for the benefit of future scams.

You post a thread saying that someone on FB is in a difficult situation and should you set up a justgiving page... Loads of people come back saying “scam” but loads come back saying “I would give,” and then if you’re lucky some will even send a private message saying “your poor friend, I would really like to help them, how can I send you some money?” Posting a thread like this is a sure way to find out how susceptible people actually are to being scammed. Even if the thread itself wasn’t designed to do that, anyone having scamming in mind could read it and be encouraged that many people will give them money when they play their hand....

Quaagars · 12/09/2020 12:26

A bit sad to read some of the reactions to this

That's what scammers bank on though - you feeling sad.
Of course it could be genuine, but better safe than sorry especially seeing as what he's asking is textbook scam, right down to a dead child - have seen this scam before.

TheBeesKnee · 12/09/2020 12:26

Honestly, I'm always of the opinion I'd rather be scammed than risk someone possibly being hungry.

But why not donate to food relief charities if you really can't bear the thought of someone going hungry?

Choosingmyring · 12/09/2020 12:28

Come on OP! You mean nothing to this person and he just wants money out of you. Total scam. I believe by him though rather than a hacker.

Jojobythesea · 12/09/2020 12:29

@WhatdoIdo2020 I had a message very very similar a while ago from a friend abroad and it was a scam. Her account had been hacked and the same message was sent to all her contacts. Ignore. If it's niggling you send him a general message saying hi, how are you?

mypetEufy · 12/09/2020 12:30

Not read all the messages, so don't know if it's been said already, but why not do a face time call to see if it's actually him?

Thinkingg · 12/09/2020 12:38

@vodkaredbullgirl

For posters who say donate, why don't you donate too??????
Because I don't know him, so for me it's no different from donating to charity.

But if i heard this one of the people I got to know when I was abroad in a developing country, I'd certainly consider it, after videocalling to check they hadn't been hacked. A small amount by Western standards good a long way there. It was a bit of a closer relationship though, these were local staff at an organisation I volunteered, so I visited their homes and met their families.

CatSmith · 12/09/2020 12:38

Definitely sounds like a scam!