Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits

[WhatdoIdo2020]

Have name changed.

Several years ago I went on a tour of a country I've always wanted to visit. A very beautiful yet poor country with amazing wildlife. I had an amazing time and the guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We stayed friends on Facebook and have spoken a few times since then.

Anyway he's just contacted me on Messenger and said that all the tours have been cancelled because of Covid and he's starving. He had a child who he'd saved up for to study abroad and the child recently died in an accident over there and now he's got no money and wasn't able to bring him home for the funeral.

I'm not sure what to do. Just giving? There's another one of the people on the tour who I'm still friends with on FB so I might ask if she's heard from him too.

I feel awful 😥

@Thecobwebsarewinning

The lack of humanity in this thread is depressing. This isn’t a stranger sending out a mass email, this is a long term friend of the OP who is going through a very hard time in a country that doesn’t offer paid furlough or Unemployment benefit or even charity food banks.

It’s up to you OP. If you can afford to send something and want to, then do it. Obviously don’t send so much that you get into difficulties yourself, but even a little might make a difference.

Repatriating a body is very expensive, even people in the developed world can’t alway afford it but the fact that the man says his son’s funeral has already taken place indicates he isn’t hoping to do that. The fact he says he is starving is much more serious. I would reply commiserating with his loss and with a small sum of money to help,him out until things improve n

I quite agree with @SummerHouse - I’d rather be ripped off for £50 or £100 than leave a friend or even an acquaintance hungry.

Thank god for some humanity !!

Yes there ARE a gazillion scams of this type on the internet.

They come from people you don't know or have only just befriended.

You do know this person.

He DOES work in tourism.
Tourism HAS been decimated.

Local tour guides most badly hit.
He hasn't contacted you before because he hasn't needed to.

Anyone saying 'oh he's got Internet, red flag red flag red flag, because if he was really destitute he wouldn't have Internet ... have absolutely NO idea how people live in the developing world. ..

My ex husband's family are all subsistence farmers. They can all get somewhere to access the internet. ! (They literally live in the jungle !)

I am also an Organised Fraud officer.. (hence the user name ! ) this does not have the usual hallmarks at all.

Ultimately.. if YOU were starving. No welfare state, no family.. wouldn't you try asking for help from someone who May be in the position to help. ?

Give what you can afford if your gut tells you its true. Don't if you can't afford it.

Can you look him up in the news? Find out if there's any mention of said accident perhaps?

I would respond and say you will donate to a local food bank (or similiar) for him and see what he says. I think he will just want cash. It seems over the top to have a dead wife and child ...

I round send £50 if you can afford it
That would keep someone in good for a month or longer in most places with poverty.

If it is a scam you haven’t lost much, if not you have helped someone

Very well known scam which has been tweaked due to covid. We had it from a very good mate who had been hacked, luckily we had his phone number as he had no idea, elsewise our first thought was how awful it was for him. When we called he didn't have a clue about it.
Just be careful OP

The msg may be legit from himself yet still a scam of sorts... under pressure from family members he is expected to help out, if his usual remittances to them have dried up.

I would send him enough to feed himself for a week, and have him get in touch with a local church or charity. Even if it’s a scam, which I don’t think it is, this is a human being.

Here's the messages. I've removed names.

That didn't work, files too big maybe.

Nah still think it's a scam. The way it's written the spelling, the OTT detail. Sorry but I would contact the tour operator

this does not have the usual hallmarks at all

Really? From the OP's first post, mentioning recently deceased child, got no money and is starving as well, I have definitely seen a scam almost word for word right down to the child.

If he can text you, why can you not ring him? Would your recognise his voice after all this time?

I would take it to be equally likely to be legit because OP knows this guy makes a living from tourism and everyone knows this industry has come to a crashing halt.

Well, yes ~ anyone who has hacked his facebook will likely know what he does for a living and will be able to piece together some details about his personal life, all the better to tailor the message to foreign acquaintances who haven't had any actual contact with him in years. Even better that it's an industry that is known to have been hit hard by the pandemic.

The fact that the message correctly mentions his occupation (or, at least, the occupation that the OP knew him to have several years ago) doesn't make it "equally likely" that it's legitimate. Anyone who hacked my facebook would know be able to work what I do for a living without too much difficulty, as well as how many children I have and roughly how old they are.

As I mentioned previously, of course there's a chance that it's true. But it's far more likely to be a scam, given that it correlates very closely with a well-known scamming strategy.

I agree that it's a scam by the way he immediately launched into his tragic events and by the fact he contacted you out of the blue.

Well the trouble here is if it had come out of the blue of course it would be a scam.
The best scams appear not to come out of the blue - like this.
You do know him and what ‘he’ Describes sounds very likely.
It could be someone else emailing you.
Even if it is him you don’t know he is being honest. Although what he describes will be happening to many worldwide.

So what to do.
If you were to reply to reassure yourself it is him you could get dragged inTo a scam further.
If you were to just say hell I can lose £50 (or whatever) however you gave it might expose you to I’d fraud etc and would definitely expose you to further requests whether he is genuine or not.

This is the trouble a just possibly genuine reach out Has to be treated with utmost caution and care.

I think I too would send something I could afford to lose and consider it done. Even writing that though I would be v hesitant. I would for sure leave it for a while and do nothing right now when head may not be clear abkut this.

Sorry OP, but you seem to be far, far too invested in the life of someone you met briefly on holiday several years ago.

Why on earth is this bothering you is much - to the extent that you won't post about your wedding anniversary because you're so upset? Are you focusing on this as a distraction from something in real life?

Please don't send anyone any money. Be sensible.

Even if it’s a scam, which I don’t think it is, this is a human being

You know these scams aren't just cobbled together by one down-on-their-luck person tapping away at their computer to see if a wealthy Westerner will sling twenty quid their way, don't you?

They are often connected to criminal gangs with involvement in people trafficking, money laundering, drugs, etc.

Yes there ARE a gazillion scams of this type on the internet.

Yep, all worded just like this one.

They come from people you don't know or have only just befriended. Like the OP you mean?

You do know this person.

No, she doesn’t. She met him on holiday several years ago, added him to facebook and then heard from him once in the subsequent years. That doesn’t constitute knowing someone. By that definition I know my local bus driver,and should give him money if he messaged me on FB, because he could be begging legitimately.

Scam!!!

Do not send any monies to him! This is exactly what scammers want. I would immediately be suspicious with the "Hi Whatdo" and nothing else.

Can you get on a different computer with a good antivirus program and contact him through Facebook and ask how he's doing? It may not be that he's been hacked but rather you've been hacked. Although I may be totally wrong...

Even if it’s a scam, which I don’t think it is, this is a human being know it really isn’t. These scams are put together by gangs, who judging by some of the responses on here don’t need to be that clever, since people seem desperate to give their money over to drug dealers, human traffickers and the like....

And I wouldn’t be too concerned about letting him know his account has been hacked. Because if it has, he will have some real friends on his FB who will hopefully inform him.

Why would you not contact the large well known Company you took the tour with ? They will know the situation with the local Tour companies.

I wouldn't send any money and would probably block him on social media. You could copy and paste some of his Facebook posts from around 24 January into Google translate to see if he did post anything about his son?

Why would you not contact the large well known Company you took the tour with ?

Quite. Or attempt to contact him by some more verifiable means other than Messenger, given that the OP is so concerned it's affecting her wedding anniversary?