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Original poster

Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits

465 replies

WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 09:47

Have name changed.

Several years ago I went on a tour of a country I've always wanted to visit. A very beautiful yet poor country with amazing wildlife. I had an amazing time and the guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We stayed friends on Facebook and have spoken a few times since then.

Anyway he's just contacted me on Messenger and said that all the tours have been cancelled because of Covid and he's starving. He had a child who he'd saved up for to study abroad and the child recently died in an accident over there and now he's got no money and wasn't able to bring him home for the funeral.

I'm not sure what to do. Just giving? There's another one of the people on the tour who I'm still friends with on FB so I might ask if she's heard from him too.

I feel awful 😥

OP posts:
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7
Natsku · 12/09/2020 11:42

Most likely to be a scam. You could video call him on messenger and then you'd know if he was hacked or not but even if its not a hack scam, he could be the scammer.

justanotherneighinparadise · 12/09/2020 11:43

@bonnielassie1

I’m actually disgusted with the amount of people saying this is a scam- someone foreign from a poor country and everyone thinks it’s a scam?

Op you have met this person, you found them genuine and kind, you have known them for a period of time and they didn’t immediately ask you for money. I believe this could be very genuine. I would send some money however I would be mindful that there could be need again in the future in which he may reach out.

I’m not sure people are saying the man the OP met wasn’t genuine. I think they are advising caution based on the fact the account could have been hacked or something along those lines.
Isol · 12/09/2020 11:44

Contact the tour operator you booked through 100%.

Madagascar is a country I know reasonably well and I work in the industry. It is devastating the impact the loss of tourism have had to the island - one of the poorest countries in the world. I don’t automatically assume this is a scam and personally know guides out there.

Do not send money or aid yourself. Contact the tour operator you booked through and ask them to make enquires through their ground agent. They should have contacts with the guides and be able to verify. That way they will be able to pass on assistance. A very small amount of money would go a long way if he is genuine.

3rdNamechange · 12/09/2020 11:44

I'd be thinking scam, but even if it isn't are you likely to be sending money to a tour guide you've met once a few years ago ?
Realistically how much would you send ? enough to get his life back on track?

SockYarn · 12/09/2020 11:45

this isn’t a stranger sending out a mass email, this is a long term friend of the OP

No, @Thecobwebsarewinning. It's someone who guided the OP on a holiday "several years ago" and added her on social media. That is not a long term friendship by ANY stretch of the imagination.

Incacat2 · 12/09/2020 11:47

If he was really starving, then he'd sell his phone to get food. Total scam.

stoppingstones · 12/09/2020 11:50

To give a totally different perspective- I think this is an entirely plausible situation, and likely not a scam. Having been on tours like yours abroad, we all know this is the guides only income, and it is logical that if there are no tours, he has no income. There is often no social welfare in very poor countries. By your description of him, he sounds like a lovely man, and it seems out of character to have to beg- for food of all things. Personally, I would send £30-50

If it seems out of character for someone to have to beg, then it is out of character. Most likely his account has been hacked.
The only way to prove it genuine is to fins another more official way of contacting him, perhaps through the tour company

TheGinGenie · 12/09/2020 11:51

I also immediately thought scam. Why would you be the person he asks? I'm not sure a few messages on Facebook makes
you a friend. The only people who would contact me in this situation are very, very close friends or close family members. Sorry OP, I think he's having you on.

TitsOutForHarambe · 12/09/2020 11:51

Just call him. Then you know if it's really him. Mystery solved.

Rosehip10 · 12/09/2020 11:51

scam

AlternativePerspective · 12/09/2020 11:52

It doesn't sound like he has been hacked. I don't know why everyone is in denial about what it must be like to work in a third world country in the tourist industry during covid no denial here. But the current crisis is a perfect opportunity for people exploit the gullible.

I would imagine these scams run rife after any kind of disaster. Because people are blinded by the situation and not the fact that they are being contacted by some random acquaintance implying they need money.

caughtalightsneeze · 12/09/2020 11:53

@SummerHouse

I would rather give money to a scammer than not give money to someone who is destitute.
I think that this is very misguided. Because in doing so, people who take this attitude encourage scammers to continue and to try to scam bigger amounts. So although you see it as something compassionate to do, because you can afford to lose £50 or whatever amount you're willing to part with, you're giving the scammers proof that it works and giving them the confidence to scam someone much more vulnerable than you, possibly out of every penny they have.
WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 12/09/2020 11:53

Can you ring and speak to him ?

Realistically if he isn't working he will be suffering, we're really lucky in the UK to have the support systems we have.

No, I wouldn't be roped into sending hundreds of pounds but if he's someone I'd considered a decent, hard working person who's fallen on bad times through no fault of his own I'd have no problem sending the odd tenner or twenty pound so he can at least eat.

SockYarn · 12/09/2020 11:54

She can't call him. Because chances are they haven't spoken in person since that holiday several years ago, and he wouldn't have a clue who she was.

Never ceases to amaze me how many gullible people there are.

FiremanSpam · 12/09/2020 11:55

If you can verify it is the same person you know, and he hasn’t been hacked, then if you are able to afford it you can send a small amount of money (will go a long way in Madagascar) via Western Union. You could go through the agency, but you may risk him getting in trouble with his employer. Or them not passing it on. Times are hard for anyone dependent upon the tourist industry, in a country with no safety net and where many people living hand to mouth: this story is credible. He is your contact so you are best placed to judge. I probably would. Because I’d weigh up all the factors. Potential it is a scam/amount I would donate/potential for this to help a human in need if it isn’t a scam. He didn’t directly ask for money - thread carefully in terms of this fellow’s dignity. Good luck Flowers

stoppingstones · 12/09/2020 11:55

This isn’t a stranger sending out a mass email, this is a long term friend of the OP
??? Really? This is a tour guide she met once on a holiday. A tour guide she doesn't actually have a telephone number, email address or actual address for. The only point of contact is messenger. Op admits that whilst he's on FB he rarely uses it. She has no idea of his actual circumstances. He hadn't previously mentioned his son ( I don't think).
He's hardly a long term friend. He probably is a genuinely nice guy, who has no idea his messenger account has been hacked

AlternativePerspective · 12/09/2020 11:55

Well, there is one way of finding out...

If you offer him money and he comes back saying you need to donate through credit union then you have your answer right there...

Setting up a just giving for some bloke you’ve only met once and haven’t seen for years and wanting people to donate to it is bloody ridiculous and I would probably unfriend someone who did that, at the very least I would tel them they had a bloody nerve begging money for some scammer on the internet.

CandyLeBonBon · 12/09/2020 11:55

I thought this was a thread about Dire straits on tour!

FiremanSpam · 12/09/2020 11:59

Everyone saying I’d rather eat that have the Internet. Your ignorance and judgement is depressing. You have no idea. But for the serendipity of your place of birth, this could be you. Check your internalised racist stereotypes.

AlternativePerspective · 12/09/2020 11:59

Ah yes western union

@ FiremanSpam western union is the classic tool which scammers use because it is non traceable.

And there is 0 way of verifying that this man is genuine. Absolutely none.

As an aside, my DP says he had a rough childhood, was abused and has struggled through his life and could people please give him money? Grin Grin

Bearing in mind that posts on here from people talking about their hardships and implying they need money are regularly deleted.

I am actually sickened by the fact that there are so many gullible people on here who would give money to a man who is practically a stranger.

FiremanSpam · 12/09/2020 12:00

Chippy much, @AlternativePerspective ?

tara66 · 12/09/2020 12:02

If it is Zimbabwe - people there are starving - a lot of people.

ancientgran · 12/09/2020 12:03

It might be a scam, I might be a fool but I'd send him something. If it is a poor country then probably a relatively small amount of money to us would make a massive difference to him. I'd hate to think of someone I know starving and obviously it depends on your circumstances but I could send him £50 or £100 without any real harm to myself.

Scbchl · 12/09/2020 12:04

Honestly, I'm always of the opinion I'd rather be scammed than risk someone possibly being hungry.

Legoandloldolls · 12/09/2020 12:05

At the end of the day OP it's up to you, your mo ey.

But if doesnt stop there please read up on cat fishing.

Lovely man, always widowed or divorced from a woman that took their every penny. Young kids that have died / are dieing.

They have a disaster, you send them some money, but it's never enough. They start telling you you are amazing, the most fantastic woman they have ever met, they want to marry you, just send them x amount...

Or maybe its it's for real. If it was me I would dig about to find out why the other person is no longer friends etc.

If you send £500 and you can afford to loose it far enough. But if you send thousands on trust alone then it doesnt really matter if he is scammer or not does it? Basically if that was the case you would seriously need to think about why you can not protect yourself imo.

If it was me i would dig about ( well in truth i wouldnt after seeing my mate being sucked in by two millionaire widowed foreigners with dead kids online. It was terrifying but the words scam feel on deaf ears. luckily by the time they got round to the "explosion", "stabbing" they went in for the 5k request for hospital fees. She didnt have 5k to give away.

Even if was true my friend knew her kids needed 5k far more than any randomer

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