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Just been contacted by friend abroad in dire straits

465 replies

WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 09:47

Have name changed.

Several years ago I went on a tour of a country I've always wanted to visit. A very beautiful yet poor country with amazing wildlife. I had an amazing time and the guide was very friendly and knowledgeable. We stayed friends on Facebook and have spoken a few times since then.

Anyway he's just contacted me on Messenger and said that all the tours have been cancelled because of Covid and he's starving. He had a child who he'd saved up for to study abroad and the child recently died in an accident over there and now he's got no money and wasn't able to bring him home for the funeral.

I'm not sure what to do. Just giving? There's another one of the people on the tour who I'm still friends with on FB so I might ask if she's heard from him too.

I feel awful 😥

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
XiCi · 12/09/2020 14:20

I cant believe that you actually sent on this probable scam to another person you know. Another potential victim of this scam now.

Malahaha · 12/09/2020 14:23

I agree with @disorganisedsecretsquirrel

People here have heard so much about third world country scams, they've come to think that everyone in a poor country is out to scam, when in fact they are just trying to survive. I know lots of people in India with low income, struggling with work even before the pandemic, rickshaw drivers, gardeners, maids, tailors, etc, most of whom were dependent on the many Western tourists that visit their town, most of whom are extraordinarily lovely, friendly, polite people just doing their jobs. The first thing I though of when I heard of the draconian covid restrictions in India is, what are they going to do?
Not one of them has asked me for help, though most have my email address; the man I mentioned earlier, he actually told my son of his situation, not me, and my son asked me to help, as I am better off than he is.

These people are ALL struggling. They don't have to write me for me to know that. They have families to support.

I have also donated to an Indian charity that feeds the poor daily, and I know that there are many charities doing this. I belong to a FB group that reports on this. But to tell you the truth, I'd rather send the same amount to a friend directly. How would you like to line up on the street with a bowl, to get your daily meal?

I don't think anyone is starving there, as food IS being given out on a daily basis. But I prefer the help to be personal, so I gave directly.

I understand that if you don't have a friend in a poor country you might be suspicious. But dismissing any call for help as a scam just doesn't do it for me. Nobody is thriving in those countries; surely a scam is a get rich quick scheme by conmen, not ordinary people who just want to live their lives and don't have government help. They are not scheming. They are not asking you to marry them.

Giving £50 was not a big deal for me, soon forgotten. I know it was a big deal for my friend, and that's what counted.

BlueThistles · 12/09/2020 14:24

Block him 🌺

Yankathebear · 12/09/2020 14:25

You don’t have to help financially. Get in touch with organisations that can help. Signpost him to the appropriate channels.
That would be the kind and sensible option.

GlassInEachHand · 12/09/2020 14:25

I would immediately be suspicious with the "Hi Whatdo" and nothing else. - Agreed - if he's been hacked the scammer might just have gone through his friends list and sent out loads of these just to see who would respond.

BigBadVoodooHat · 12/09/2020 14:34

@GlassInEachHand

I would immediately be suspicious with the "Hi Whatdo" and nothing else. - Agreed - if he's been hacked the scammer might just have gone through his friends list and sent out loads of these just to see who would respond.
That’s exactly what it was. A rarely used Facebook account has been hacked and a greeting was sent out to everyone on their friends list to see who would respond.

Someone you barely know and haven’t had any contact with for years sending a message that says ‘Hi [name]’ and nothing else, and that’s not suspicious? Hmm

BooseysMom · 12/09/2020 14:37

Those msgs are chilling. I can't believe it's a scam as Malahaha says there are many thousands desperate and starving. I think if I had met this guy, swapped details etc, I would help him. I mean he's lost his wife and son ffs.

DoulaDaisy · 12/09/2020 14:39

This is most definitely a scam.

IntermittentParps · 12/09/2020 14:39

I'm sorry but I agree it's a scam. I don't think he himself has anything to do with it; I think some scammer has hacked his accounts.

To be sure/set your mind at rest, you could contact the tour companies he's employed by. Apart from anything else, he may not know he's been hacked, so it'd be helpful if they could let him know. And they may be able to put you in proper touch with him, if you'd like to contact him.

minipie · 12/09/2020 14:41

I was on the fence until I read the messages. They do look like a hack tbh. The person you describe with good English, who’s been in touch occasionally, would surely chat with you a little before saying how bad things are and wouldn’t straight away launch into “starving”.

Having said that, it is undoubtedly true that tour guides in poor countries must be suffering a lot right now and if you can it would be good to help this country you enjoyed visiting.

In your shoes OP I would donate to a reputable charity that operates in Madagascar and reply to your friend that you have done that and maybe they can help him. If it’s a scam they will go quiet if it’s your friend hopefully he will be grateful and investigate that avenue.

dollypartonscoat · 12/09/2020 14:43

And now we've seen the messages it is 100% scam.

FOKKYFC · 12/09/2020 14:44

Frankly, if you'd posted those messages first Confused I'd've said 'scam' straight away.

BlueThistles · 12/09/2020 14:46

Scam or not... do you want to financially support this man for however long it takes 🌺

Thisisnotnormal69 · 12/09/2020 14:47

That reads pretty much like textbook scam Sad

WhatdoIdo2020 · 12/09/2020 14:52

I'm going to contact his employer. I checked my email and I did have one email from him in response to a group message I'd sent out ("It's great to hear from you and hope we keep in touch") but that's it.

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 12/09/2020 14:55

It’s a scam. I had similar from a friend who rarely uses FB recently. The message started in the same way and asked if I could help pay her mortgage as they had fallen on hard times. I texted her and her response was wtf? Reported to FB. Doubt they did anything.

Quaagars · 12/09/2020 14:56

I'm going to contact his employer

Sounds like a good plan

okeydokeywokeyblokey · 12/09/2020 14:57

I lived in south Africa which borders Mozambique and have visited Mozambique a few times. My ex husband still lives in SA so know a lot about the situation there. So much starvation going on with less work than usual. There aren't any handouts. I have no doubt hes telling the truth. He is reaching out to someone he thinks can help. The worst is, it's so hard to send help.

Lweji · 12/09/2020 15:00

I know lots of people in India with low income, struggling with work even before the pandemic, rickshaw drivers, gardeners, maids, tailors, etc, most of whom were dependent on the many Western tourists that visit their town, most of whom are extraordinarily lovely, friendly, polite people just doing their jobs. The first thing I though of when I heard of the draconian covid restrictions in India is, what are they going to do?
Not one of them has asked me for help, though most have my email address; the man I mentioned earlier, he actually told my son of his situation, not me, and my son asked me to help, as I am better off than he is.

Surely this experience would make you think that people like these are unlikely to send emails or messages asking for help. Not the opposite.

I know people in countries like Venezuela and Mozambique, even as their homes were flooded. No requests for help not then and not now, even though they are occasionally on FB.

This thread shows how gullible people are.

I agree that if you are not sure you should contact the company directly.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 12/09/2020 15:00

It's a Scam but you seem to have decided it isn't so say goodbye to your money.

caughtalightsneeze · 12/09/2020 15:03

I'm horrified at people berating others for a lack of humanity for thinking that a well known scam might, in fact, be a scam.

A lack of humanity is sending money, knowing that it's probably a scam but there is a teeny chance it might be real, and letting them get rich off your generosity whilst leaving genuinely struggling people to carry on struggling.

Yes, if you have a friend, someone you know well, someone you trust, and you know the money will actually reach them by all means send them money.

Someone who was your tour guide years ago and you have as a Facebook friend is pretty much a stranger.

Donate to charity, find a small organisation that is doing hands on work in the area. Volunteer to go and do aid work yourself if your circumstances allow. That is showing humanity, not handing out money to organised criminals then shrugging your shoulders and saying 'meh, I can afford it'.

okeydokeywokeyblokey · 12/09/2020 15:08

If he lives in a major town you. Could get him some aid, but if it's anything big, it will get stolen off him. I don't know how easy it is to spend money received on PayPal in Mozambique but if it was someone I knew, I would probably send something. I used to pay school fees for a lady who worked for me when I left, but they weren't starving

TorkTorkBam · 12/09/2020 15:13

I have always wondered who on earth falls for these scams. This thread is astonishing.

okeydokeywokeyblokey · 12/09/2020 15:14

Wittering on about Mozambique, my eyes are so bad, I don't know anything about infrastructure in Madagascar, sorry

SockYarn · 12/09/2020 15:20

Well the trouble here is if it had come out of the blue of course it would be a scam.

But it has come totally out of the blue. Very little contact except a "happy new year" a few years ago then all of a sudden a message that says "hello Poster". If you're getting in touch with an old friend you don't just send two words. You say hello, remember me, we met in X, I remember you wore that pink hat, and that day it poured and we all got soaked.

If you're into someone's FB account of course you can work out what they do for a living, where they live and of course with the help of google you can easily make it seem as if you are that person. Then launch into your tale of woe in the hope that one of the thousands of people you're emailing send money. You can guarantee that this scammer has probably hacked into lots of FB profiles. The very second message is "please help" - obviously money as he won't be expecting the OP to order him a Just Eat or pop round with a casserole. Hmm

It is a SCAM, A SCAMTASTIC SCAMMY SCAM.

How clear does it have to be?

Slow handclap to all the numpties posting "well I'd rather be scammed than risk someone starving" as you've just given the green light to the posters who regularly pop up at this time of year claiming they're down to their last 50p and can't afford Christmas for their kids.

Fucks' sake. Just when you thought people couldn't get any more stupid, you're proved wrong.

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