Were you embarrassed or proud of your house growing up?

[Worriedaboutcovid19]

Pondering this thought after reading another thread which reminded me.

My mum and stepdads house was very cluttered growing up. Not hoarded, just cluttered. My mum smoked inside the house too so it stank. They weren't the type to spend any money on aesthetics if it wasn't broken. So they wouldn't buy new curtains if her old ones were undamaged or new carpets/sofas even if they were worn out/haggard unless it was broken. So the house was very mismatched as they would replace things when needed without thinking if it was matched.

To clarify we werent particularly hard up for money or anything, it just wasn't a priority to my parents I don't think.

Although the basics were done such as hoovering and wiping down the sides. We NEVER deep cleaned such as dusting, pulling out sofas/microwave/cleaning windows or cleaning skirting boards etc.

When going to friends houses there was always a stark difference. All their houses were cleaned well with soft furnishing and the decor matching. None of their houses stank of smoke. No matter what kind of style their parents had they obviously carried out home improvements. Im assuming if they ever came into any kind of money such as a work bonus or inheritance or something they would use it on home improvements such as decking in the garden or a new kitchen etc. Whereas I don't think it would even cross my parents mind and instead they'd spend it on a holiday or car or something.

The houses all felt like show homes!

Now I'm an adult I realise they weren't emmaculate show homes at all, just that most people enjoy living in a nice home free of clutter and smoke!

I would feel quite embarrassed having friends over after seeing their homes and wonder what they must have thought! The funniest thing is... my mother believes she's house proud!

I've always wondered if anyone ever felt proud of their homes?! Knowing they were lovely and cared for? Or did most kids just not ever think about it as they lived in nicely decorated houses similar to their friends so it wasn't an issue?

As an adult now I have to write a list of deep cleaning things to do every now and again and put it in my diary like cleaning behind the microwave or cleaning the fridge and cupboards. As I didnt grow up doing it, those things don't come second nature!

My home growing up was warm and friendly. Everyone loved coming to mine. It wasn't uber clean and sterile like some friends homes but it was tidy and had a welcoming vibe. I am not sure I was proud of it in any way. It was just my home and friends were always welcome.

Or did most kids just not ever think about it as they lived in nicely decorated houses similar to their friends so it wasn't an issue?

This is how it was for me. My home was always lovely and clean, as were my friend's homes. It wasn't until I was about 9/10, when I had made a new friend that I realised how differently some people lived. I went to my friend's home for the first time and I was utterly shocked. It was absolutely filthy and just horrible. I had never seen anything like it because no one, friends or family, lived that way. I remember very clearly feeling horribly sad for my friend.

I was embarrassed and it has affected me long term. Our house was very cluttered and always needed decorating, my parents were no good at diy. Our furniture was all second hand, my dad chain smoked. My mum was not house proud at all, to be fair she had her hands full and gave up I think.

I’m a bit obsessed with decluttering and housework. I never think my house looks good enough, I constantly compare it to other people’s. I’m worried about repeating my childhood home.

Horribly embarrassing. I never had friends round. Parents hoarded. House was falling apart. It was filthy. For some strange reason there were water issues so the water was frequently turned off. Lots and lots of weird things.
As an adult I now see a lot of neglect but it wasnt a money issue, parents were not that bothered.

Not embarrassed exactly, but we were very poor, and our house — which belonged to my grandfather and great-uncle, and which we shared with a number of other extended family members — was tiny, unkempt and overcrowded, with only an outdoor loo.

I was embarrassed of our home as a child , my mum had a really hard life due to the way my dad treated her and struggled to cope. She tried her best and we were always well dressed and fed properly but she never kept on top of the house. Once he died it was like she has a new lease of life and the family home since then is lovely. My own home is always immaculate and I can't cope with any mess or clutter which know doubt stems from my childhood.

I was very embarrassed of my home, my mum died when I was 12 and my dad was left a single parent of 3 and suffered awful depression which he's never recovered from, as a result, growing up and still now, the family home was messy, dirty, cluttered, damage never got repaired, pictures never put up, things never thrown away, animal mess etc. It's been something I've been trying to get on top of for years but as a kid I never had my friends over and even now if a new bf or anyone has to go to the house I give them 'the talk' explaining how bad it is before they go in!

I didn’t really think about it, we shared a flat with another family for most of my childhood. I don’t think I ever considere what it looked like, I don’t remember anyone mentioning what my home looked like etc to me.

I lived in a shabby council house, with wallpaper peeling from the walls, and jazzy carpets. My dad was an unemployed alcoholic, so we could barely afford the basics like food, clothing and heating. So yes I was ashamed of my house. Our furniture was also second hand, old fashioned and mismatched, and all our internal doors had holes through them, where my dad had smashed them in a temper. My mum kept a clean and tidy house, but I still vividly remember all her little china ornaments were glued back together, because my dad had smashed them too. Some kids weren't allowed in my house anyway, as their parents wouldn't let them.

I was embarrassed by my house growing up, I felt similar going to friends houses, I was always fansinated by other houses because they usually looked nicer than ours. There were lots of broken things that were just never fixed, the carpet was ripped up from the stairs and not replaced for years. It was always messy and not very clean either

Neither ashamed or proud.

It was giant fucking mess, constant changing pile of clothes in living room ready to be ironed etc.

There were 4 kids, so there was ALWAYS ironing to do, which we took in turns each day.

I was proud of it because it was a comparatively big house with a huge playroom and garden, I had stacks of toys and things and it was a clean, smoke free environment, but I was embarrassed by my mum asking my friends to take their shoes off, and by the other 'posh' things my friends pointed out - like the fact we had a formal sitting room, and a hat stand instead of just wall pegs, and 2 knives set in our places at teatime, that sort of thing.

Our house was big old Victorian (though very light) and full of interesting furniture and art - nothing like the mahogany heavy/velvet sofa of my aunt's and uncle's homes. I don't think I was particularly proud of it- it was just my home. I do now admire my mother's ability to keep it tidy and presentable with three kids and two dogs.

Neither. It was just ‘normal’ to me, the same as any other houses I went into of friends and family. Tidy, clean, nice enough furniture. Nothing fancy. But I didn’t know any different so I never really thought about it.

Ashamed, I couldn't live like that now. Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, mental health issues. Just a melting pot of disfunction.

I was really proud of mine. We were poor and it was a council house on a really deprived estate but my mum kept it lovely. It was home. Not clinical, or perfect but warm and ordered, and all my friends (from 'bought' houses) always said it was so relaxing being at mine. We were a chilled family and welcomed everyone, anytime. Its what I have always aimed to recreate, not the decor/ house keeping standards, but the feel.

Embarrassed. We had a fairly big house in a nice area, but it was full of clutter and the furniture was all old or inherited, with new things squished in rather than got rid of. It was fairly clean but not to the same standards as my friend’s houses. There was a lot of poor quality inbuilt furniture that my parents always meant to rip out but still haven’t 40 years later. On the plus side I think my friends felt relaxed about coming over when I was a teenager as there wasn’t a fear of messing things up. I don’t really know how to make a home tidy and cosy and I’ve definitely inherited some hoarding aspects which I am constantly battling with.

I was a bit embarrassed. My home was always clean and we were always clean too but it was a council house and it had a horrible kitchen and bathroom. I was friends with people from the posh suburb and going to their homes was like stepping into a glossy magazine. One even had a swimming pool. I had a lovely childhood though so I can't complain.

I never gave it much thought. It was "normal" amongst my friendship group. It was always clean and not much clutter. My DM was very good at painting and decorating so we always had newly decorated rooms etc.

There was one friend when we were teens who's house was disgusting. Fag ends in the sink, mouldy cups and newspapers on the window. We just had her round ours instead. She felt incredibly embarrassed and would clean the house when home from school, only for her siblings and parents to trash again. She is diagnosed OCD now and spends all day cleaning her clean house. Very sad.

Deeply embarrassed.

We were very poor.

The sofa was split and covered in a cheap cotton throw.

The carpet on the stairs was also all split.

Our kitchen was tiny and so dated with a wooden floor that was grimy and full of holes because the linoleum had long ago expired.

We couldn't afford a telephone.

It was so shit. My mum still lives in that house but it's better now.

My house was always tatty. My parents split up when I was young and my mum worked long hours in two jobs to keep a roof over our heads. Our TV was old, it didn't have a remote, and we did not have the latest things or go on holidays to Disney etc. I felt embarrassed about that because I lived in a reasonably wealthy area and the kids at school DID have all those things. I probably gave my mum a hard time about it

BUT my house was the one that everyone gravitated to, my mum was pretty laidback and friendly, everyone was welcome and I think the fact it wasn't show home clean made it easier.
She had the sell the house when I turned 18, it hadn't been decorated since the 1970's (this was the 1990's!).

Funnily enough my childhood home came up for sale a couple of years ago and the people who bought it from my parents did nothing to it - same kitchen, even the same old carpet in the lounge (20 years on!) so maybe I was just imagining how bad it was?

Lived in a council house , but it was very clean and tidy . Always had a home cooked meal every day and clean clothes etc . My dad was quite old fashioned and my parents had an almost 1950s relationship.

Definitely embarrassed. Parents both smoked so the house stank, and never had much money so the carpets were threadbare. They were hopeless at DIY and didn't look after the garden either so that was all overgrown, it was a dump!

Neither embarrassed or proud. Didn't matter wasn't really allowed anyone round anyway. Spent all my free time in my bedroom as "I took up too much space" (words of step mum).

Not enough money to keep things up to date. No interest from Dad. Dad and step mum smoked lots.

Was clean though. My sibling and I had SO MUCH cleaning to do. Gardening too. Ironing and polishing shoes as well.