Were you embarrassed or proud of your house growing up?

[Worriedaboutcovid19]

Pondering this thought after reading another thread which reminded me.

My mum and stepdads house was very cluttered growing up. Not hoarded, just cluttered. My mum smoked inside the house too so it stank. They weren't the type to spend any money on aesthetics if it wasn't broken. So they wouldn't buy new curtains if her old ones were undamaged or new carpets/sofas even if they were worn out/haggard unless it was broken. So the house was very mismatched as they would replace things when needed without thinking if it was matched.

To clarify we werent particularly hard up for money or anything, it just wasn't a priority to my parents I don't think.

Although the basics were done such as hoovering and wiping down the sides. We NEVER deep cleaned such as dusting, pulling out sofas/microwave/cleaning windows or cleaning skirting boards etc.

When going to friends houses there was always a stark difference. All their houses were cleaned well with soft furnishing and the decor matching. None of their houses stank of smoke. No matter what kind of style their parents had they obviously carried out home improvements. Im assuming if they ever came into any kind of money such as a work bonus or inheritance or something they would use it on home improvements such as decking in the garden or a new kitchen etc. Whereas I don't think it would even cross my parents mind and instead they'd spend it on a holiday or car or something.

The houses all felt like show homes!

Now I'm an adult I realise they weren't emmaculate show homes at all, just that most people enjoy living in a nice home free of clutter and smoke!

I would feel quite embarrassed having friends over after seeing their homes and wonder what they must have thought! The funniest thing is... my mother believes she's house proud!

I've always wondered if anyone ever felt proud of their homes?! Knowing they were lovely and cared for? Or did most kids just not ever think about it as they lived in nicely decorated houses similar to their friends so it wasn't an issue?

As an adult now I have to write a list of deep cleaning things to do every now and again and put it in my diary like cleaning behind the microwave or cleaning the fridge and cupboards. As I didnt grow up doing it, those things don't come second nature!

Ours, was pretty much the same as everybody else's at my school, 1970's 3 bed semi. BUT I suppose I lived a very sheltered life, or went around with my eyes closed as I was under the impression that they were the only houses that really existed and I absolutely knew that I would live in one of those houses when I grew up, because that's all there was!

The fact that I now live in a 4 bed detached, in a completely different style to the house I grew up in, continues to be something that I'm surprised by!

What's hilarious is that mother will often criticise my SIL for the state of their house (never thinks my DB could pull his finger out) and their house is nowhere near as bad as ours was growing up!

She will often tell me about how housework is such a priority for her these days as she likes a clean house, yet she never even used to make the bed (as in straighten the duvet!) when we were kids.

I grew up on what was quite a deprived estate in a HA house until I was 18. My mum was and still is absolutely spotless and our home was lovely. She was brought up by her mum who was German and extremely houseproud and it showed.

When I was little we didn’t have much but as I got a bit older we were better off and I was always proud of anyone visiting. When I was 18 I moved away to university and the week after that my parents bought their first house, a brand new 3 bed detached house on a “posh” estate.

My childhood home wasn’t perfect in any way but I loved it. Nobody smoked and shoes were off! I have been diagnosed myself with OCD which centers around cleaning and I’m the same with my home.

My childhood homes, like the houses of most other people we knew, would be politely described as "bohemian". Scruffy but stylish, lots of plants, pets, books, dust. I found it very weird when visiting cousins or friends who lived in "show homes". My parents both worked full-time and their domesticity was focused on cooking and gardening rather than cleaning or decorating. I live exactly the same way.

I didn't really notice it as a kid as we was so used to saying "sorry about the mess" my mum still says this now. But it was dirty like horribly dirty for example my dad through a dinner plate at the wall when we was young and the food was just left stuck on in bits that dried and went hard.

Our house was a small, slightly old fashioned terrace. It was a like a living, ever-changing modern art sculpture of bad DIY, thanks to my dad who would rather have died than let anyone do a job he could manage himself - except he couldn't!

When I was small, most of my friends were from the local area and we all lived in similar houses. But when I got older and made friends from further afield, I did become more aware that my house was small and the furniture was a bit 'retro'. There were a few comments, almost exclusively from the boys in my group of friends. I remember feeling embarrassed and in later years feeling ashamed of my embarrassment. Some kids can be quite nasty and competitive. As if they played any active role in their parents' acquisition of wealth.

Our house was immaculate at all times as dm cleaned constantly. None of my friends or my siblings' friends ever saw our house though as we weren't allowed to invite them in because they might make a mess. I work hard at not being obsessive like dm but house is very clean and tidy (three of my siblings have similarly immaculate homes)

I was mildly embarrassed, as we lived in a tied cottages and my parents wouldn't spend money on them as they saw it as a waste, they brought carpets but they were never fitted downstairs and were to big so curled up the walls, they were like this in every house we lived in and moved with us our bedroom carpets were too small so just sat like big unfinished rugs in the middle of the floor and were very dated, we had no heating upstairs, and downstairs we had a storage heater in the dining room and an open fire in the sitting room, the bathroom was full of mould as no heating and single skin walls so lumps of plater would just fall off if you tried to clean it, the rest of the house was clean, but I would go to friends houses that had fitted carpets and pictures and just nice stuff and heating and tiled bathrooms, double glazing.

I grew up living first in a small basement flat, with my parents and three kids in one bedroom. I was too young to be embarrassed about it. Then we moved to a caravan park where I lived until I was 17 and left as soon as I could get away. I always hated, hated it. We were visibly poor and it wasn't nice. It was always clean though, we always had good clothes, and a car but compared to my friends we were not in a good place. So I wasn't unhappy as such, my parents were good parents.

@cakeandeatit Love that I wish my family was like yours. My kids are only small now but I really hope my home feel like that now and I hope when my kids are older they feel comfortable to bring friends around and visit all the time.
I'm late 20s now one of 6 siblings none of us are close except for one little sister I have. Not close to parents either they live 15 minutes away and I visit maybe four times a year now.

I lived in a 3 bed house with an integral garage in a quiet cul de sac with parents and sibling.
Our house was like a show home, huge pampas grass in front garden. Walk in to lots of glass tables and wall units and lots of expensive ornaments and dried flower arrangements. House was always clean and tidy.
Myself and my brother could never relax properly in the house as we wasn't allowed to sit on sofa how we wanted, couldn't move any cushions around, wasn't allowed play doh or glitter etc etc, wasn't allowed a drink or an ice cream in the lounge, had to be careful when we walked past the tv etc

I want my house to be a happy house, my children can play with play doh or paint, sit on sofa how they want, have a drink in the lounge etc

Flat was ok. Clean but shabby as not much money.
I was highly embarrassed of situation with our neighbours as my mother was always falling out with people. Some weren't nice so I had to endure abuse and witness public fall outs in the street- mother and neighbours yelling at each other and police being called. This was a regular occurrence I was far too ashamed to bring my friends around for that reason. I felt anxious and uncomfortable all the time.

Grew up in a fairly shabby council flat, but it was clean and tidy, if a bit cluttered.

I was a bit embarrassed of it, because my mum was a bit of a boho hippy type and we had mismatched furniture and lots of books and hippy-ish Knick knacks. I longed for the black (fake) leather sofas, matchy matchy soft furnishings and massive tellies of my friend’s (also council) flats .

I was embarrassed. We lived in a small terraced house that was a little dated as we never had much money. I went to a school where a lot of people were affluent. I didn't invite school friends round very often but street friends were in sometimes as we all lived in the same style houses.

DD1 is embarrassed about our house, and it breaks my heart. We live in an ex-council semi which is tiny, and most of her friends live in much larger, detached properties, all with fairly modern, contemporary decor. Ours is clean and tidy, but the decor, although neutral, could do with updating. It just looks a little tired. And it's tiny.
We could afford to redecorate and put in a new kitchen and bathroom, but have so far reasoned that it's silly to replace fully working appliances / units / flooring etc, prioritising saving instead, but I have recently begun to think that perhaps we should just splurge a load on a refurb for the DCs sake. I just need to get over myself, as I freak out about perfectly good stuff with years left in them going to landfill because ...aesthetics.

Neither. As a child I wouldn't have noticed anything about friends homes. IME most dc are pretty accepting of anything being different.
Even as a teen / young adult, the only home I was a bit uncomfortable in was one friend's whose hose looked a bit like a showhome. I was frightened to have a drink or to walk into the rooms tbh.
I loved going to friends' homes who were welcoming, not because the 'decor matched'.

Lived in a very nice house , that was always clean and tidy
I didn't really think about it as a child , you don't think anyone lives in any way different to you , you're the normal one
It never felt like a show home , did they even exist in the 60s ?
Mind you , I do remember Mum bringing in mine and DSIS dresses which had frozen solid on the washing line , and putting them in front of the fire ( the dresses standing frozen solid , standing on the floor )
I don't remember us wearing them that day though !

Kids, I worry DD1 will be you in 20 years time.

I was embarrassed of my house in my teens but for the wrong reasons. I lived in a 5 bed detached house with big garden, my parents spent a lot of money doing it up when we bought it. I had a friend who constantly made catty remarks and it made me so self conscious.m, I hated telling anyone where I lived.

The same friend now has a bigger/nicer house than anyone else she knows. As soon as someone she knows moves or has an extension she has to update her house to make sure she has the better one! Weird!

I could have written your post @Worriedaboutcovid19. My mum hated housework, so our house was not only cluttered and full of smoke but filthy. The kitchen was didgusting.

I am clean and tidy, and hate clutter. It makes me feel claustrophobic. That said, our house is a home not a show house.

My Mum is and was very house proud, our home was fairly big and she worked hard to keep it shining. However I never brought people round as it wasn't relaxing, I preferred my friends homes that were much more lived in.

Nope, it was mainly catsh*t and newspapers, with lots of heaps everywhere. Thankfully noone ever came round to see it.

So interesting all of these. My folks were “bohemian” though I didn’t know that word back then. We lived in a little cottage with a massive garden, my dad was renovating it almost single handedly so for years there was work going on and we’d be cooking in the caravan in the garden or sleeping there or something. We didn’t mow the front lawn as it was a “wildflower meadow.” We didn’t have tv or telephone or mains gas or sewerage, it was freezing and I was sometimes slightly envious of friends who all seemed to live in “normal” three bed terraces which were very clean and tidy with all modcons. However i wasn’t ashamed as people always said “wow” when they came to our house and said how lucky we were.

Embarrassed.

My mother is a hoarder so the house was (still is) packed full of junk.
I went to a private girls school (with a scholarship) and lived in a different world to the other girls at school. We lived on a very grim council estate and everyone else at school lived in lovely big houses in nice areas. I was so embarrassed telling people where I lived and could never invite anyone home (and wasn’t allowed to anyway, but that’s a whole other story).

It was a nice house, but I never felt my parents made my friends feel welcome. It didn't help that my best friend had the loveliest mum, it was just the two of them so we had some amazing sleep overs and days out together

I've made sure our home now is friendly and welcoming. It might not always be the tidiest but you're always welcome and I've always got food in the freezer. My eldest DS says all his friends like coming round, which I like. Feels nice that they see our house as a good place to be ( rather than loitering on a corner somewhere!)