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Original poster

I may have the only teenager who agreed this was fair....

179 replies

DoorstoManual · 15/08/2020 01:47

He has landed a job, it is full time he will be on £10 an hour, he asked what we required for bed and board.

I said £400 a month.

He said, presume that includes food......... I said it includes everything, he said that is a bargain, thank you so much.

We will save it for him, but I was so impressed that he already knew it was good value.

He sat down and worked out income, tax, NI, travel, phone etc., it was a revelation.

For the record, we have been very fluid financially for the last ten years of his life, but he has clearly not forgotten the tight times, not bone crunching tight, but tight.

OP posts:
TalkingOutOfMyBottom · 15/08/2020 02:32

Is this a holiday job or permanent job?

SingingSands · 15/08/2020 02:35

Good for him. And you!

Change17 · 15/08/2020 03:27

Good for him! Sounds like you’ve raised him to be very responsible and aware about finance.

caringcarer · 15/08/2020 03:30

My adult son who lives at home in loft conversion so has enormous room and shower room, he pays £400 pcm but he gets rediculously fast internet we only do for his gaming, Virgin Oumph including Sky sport, BT sport and Sky movies in his room, also Netflix, Disney +, and Prime, Virgin go etc. all food, washing powder, electricity, gas and use of home phone.

He is very happy to pay that and offered more when he got pay rise.but we said he was covering his share of bills.

He has friends who share a house and recognises the true cost of living.

eatsleepread · 15/08/2020 04:37

That's a shitload of money to take every month, even if you are saving it to give back to him.
I don't even understand that, to be honest. I'd rather just take £200 per month and keep it, as then he's genuinely paying his way.

BarbaraofSeville · 15/08/2020 04:51

Bollocks is it a shit load of money, he'll still have hundreds of pounds a month to spend as he likes, which is more disposable income than most adults have.

Plus as it sounds like the OP will be saving it for him anyway, so he will get it back later when he needs it for a house deposit etc.

£200 pm is not 'paying his way' for a working adult. His food is likely to be more than that, then you have all the other bills and simply taking up space in the house.

The OP isn't obliged to house him forever, if the OP had another period of money struggles, they would need to either downsize or get an income from his room. Only the better off can afford to house working adult children for a token sum, many people need them to contribute and it doesn't do him any favours to get used to having all the money he earns available to spend.

oranges29 · 15/08/2020 05:55

This crazy. I don't understand why parents take money off their children if they don't need it. Leave him to enjoy the money that he has earned. Taking money off your children does not teach them 'responsibility'.

Purpleartichoke · 15/08/2020 06:00

Excellent op

I do think parents should charge rent that gives an idea of the real world. 25% for housing, utilities, and food is a bargain. When a young adult moves out they are likely to be spending 30% or more of their income just on housing.

RosieLemonade · 15/08/2020 06:52

I could never take that much keep off my child. My home is her home forever.

justanotherneighinparadise · 15/08/2020 06:54

You’re doing a great thing OP. He learns the value of money, doesn’t have the kind of excess of money that makes you do stupid things with it, plus you’re going to save it for him and give it back as a lump sum down the road. Fabulous!

TildaTurnip · 15/08/2020 06:57

This is brilliant. The fact he wants to pay his share as a working adult shows he knows the value of it all plus he clearly cares about and respects you.

A friend’s parents did this for her (saving the money) and she had enough for a house deposit at the end that she didn’t expect.

SteakExpectations · 15/08/2020 06:58

If you’re going to save it for him, would it not be better for it to go in a LifeTime ISA?

TildaTurnip · 15/08/2020 06:59

@RosieLemonade

I could never take that much keep off my child. My home is her home forever.
Does it feel less a home if you’re contributing financially?
backaftera2yearbreak · 15/08/2020 07:01

I used to earn £120 a week and my mum took £60. I would absolutely charge my child rent for living here in the future. But a proportionate amount.

devildeepbluesea · 15/08/2020 07:05

@oranges29

This crazy. I don't understand why parents take money off their children if they don't need it. Leave him to enjoy the money that he has earned. Taking money off your children does not teach them 'responsibility'.
Bollocks. It teaches them many, many things: how to budget, that they can't have something they want if they don't have the cash to cover bills as well, it teaches them that they don't get a free ride in life, it teaches them that in order to fulfil their responsibilities they must earn money somehow. I genuinely fear for the millions of working young adults living free at home. I've seen so many of them not have a clue when they finally move out.

OP your son sounds like he has his head screwed on. In your situation I'd be inclined to save half and keep half - after all, he should pay his way.

Ragwort · 15/08/2020 07:08

Very fair on both sides, why on earth shouldn't an employed adult contribute towards the running of the home (even if it is discretely saved) - enabling your grown up child to live rent free is just treating like them like a baby who has no responsibilities in life.

xoxogossipgirl2020 · 15/08/2020 07:10

@oranges29 that’s exactly what it does...

Rainallnight · 15/08/2020 07:11

When you say teenager, what age is he? Is this a summer job or something permanent?

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/08/2020 07:14

That's brilliant OP. Sounds like you've raised a great kid.

dicksplash · 15/08/2020 07:16

There was a post on here this week with a parent who couldn't get her 30 year old to move out. If we allow adults to live responsibility free they will never truly be an adult. I would hope we are in a position to do the same for our children one day (ie take rent but save it to give back to them).

Trashtara · 15/08/2020 07:18

Taking money off your children does not teach them 'responsibility'.

But it does teach them to budget. It's stupid for an adult to get used to such a high level of disposable income when in a few months/ years he will have to pay rent or mortgage and bills. Better to get used to it now!

goingtobeokay · 15/08/2020 07:19

Well raised son. Good work OP.

longtimecomin · 15/08/2020 07:20

Great idea to take that money off him and pay him back as savings. I intend to do the exact same with mine. Ignore those who say you shouldn't take anything off him and just let him 'enjoy his money' very irresponsible, quickest route to show him how to live beyond his means and end up with lots of debt.

AnotherBoredOne · 15/08/2020 07:22

Great job. Your son is a good one.

user1497207191 · 15/08/2020 07:24

@eatsleepread

That's a shitload of money to take every month, even if you are saving it to give back to him. I don't even understand that, to be honest. I'd rather just take £200 per month and keep it, as then he's genuinely paying his way.
No it isn't. Uni students are paying more than that in halls without food, television licence, washing, cleaning etc. It's cheap.