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Original poster

I may have the only teenager who agreed this was fair....

179 replies

DoorstoManual · 15/08/2020 01:47

He has landed a job, it is full time he will be on £10 an hour, he asked what we required for bed and board.

I said £400 a month.

He said, presume that includes food......... I said it includes everything, he said that is a bargain, thank you so much.

We will save it for him, but I was so impressed that he already knew it was good value.

He sat down and worked out income, tax, NI, travel, phone etc., it was a revelation.

For the record, we have been very fluid financially for the last ten years of his life, but he has clearly not forgotten the tight times, not bone crunching tight, but tight.

OP posts:
user1497207191 · 15/08/2020 07:27

@oranges29

This crazy. I don't understand why parents take money off their children if they don't need it. Leave him to enjoy the money that he has earned. Taking money off your children does not teach them 'responsibility'.
Then you get hoards of people on MN whingeing that their partner/husband won't contribute properly towards expenses, don't understand money, don't realise what things cost, etc etc. That's because their parents didn't teach them and just handed them everything on a plate - when they leave home, they are wholly unprepared for real life!
pumpkinpie01 · 15/08/2020 07:27

It's good that he feels he is getting a bargain and wants to contribute. But if he is on £10 an hour and doing a 39 hour week doesn't that equate to roughy a third of his wage ?

NatashaAlianovaRomanova · 15/08/2020 07:31

To all those griping about OP taking a huge sum of money working a 37.5hr week even after statutory deductions & paying for his keep he'll still have approx £1,000 per month to do with as he pleases.

I think you're doing the right thing OP no working adult should ever expect to be kept for free it teaches them nothing about how the world works & when they do get out there on their own it's a big shock how much things cost.

ginghamtablecloths · 15/08/2020 07:33

Well done OP, it sounds like you've raised a proper grown-up there.

NatashaAlianovaRomanova · 15/08/2020 07:34

No it isn't. Uni students are paying more than that in halls without food, television licence, washing, cleaning etc. It's cheap.

My 17yo goddaughter starts uni soon & is £150 per week for halls which are essentially a bedsit!

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/08/2020 07:35

I think it’s a perfectly reasonable amount - if he were living outside of the house he’d be paying much more for probs my less pleasant living circumstances. In all honesty I’m not sure I’d be saving it all for him, usually we need to budget for savings after our living expenses and giving you money is meant to pay for his accommodation- if you have another working adult at home it should ease the financial burden on everyone because more is going into the pot.

Ragwort · 15/08/2020 07:35

user makes a good point, there are so many threads on here with partners who seem to assume that all their earnings are for 'fun' and expensive hobbies and don't understand about the basic costs involved in running a household. Hmm.

And so what if it's a third of the DS's income, how many of us have two thirds of our income to spend exactly as we wish ? Confused

Frenchfancy · 15/08/2020 07:37

Well done OP.

Contributing to the household doesn't stop it being a home.

20viona · 15/08/2020 07:42

How is he ever gonna save for his own house when you're taking £400 a month off him? That's really expensive.

Angelina82 · 15/08/2020 07:42

Well done for raising a child to know the value of money OP.. Those posters stating that they would never take money off of their little darlings are making rods for their own backs, and will in years to come be on here moaning that their entitled offspring are still cadging money off of them at 40 Hmm

Rosieeeee · 15/08/2020 07:50

Pretty sure I was still in college and only earning £120-140 a week on £3.95 an hour when I was 17/18 (15 years ago) when my mum asked for £100 a week to help with house costs/food. I was amazed by how much she wanted as I was working a lot of hours despite being full time at college, and subsequently refused to give her a penny and moved out into my own flat asap after finishing college! Might not have had any money left doing that, but the principle of giving her that much of my salary was outrageous, and I was proud to pay for my own place. We didn't have the best relationship and she had a very poor paying job. I'd have happily contributed if she had asked for a reasonable amount though.

Northernsoullover · 15/08/2020 07:52

@20viona if you read the OP correctly she is saving it. I hate these threads and really need to learn to scroll by. However, I think I end up posting to try and make at least one person amongst the privileged understand that some families have to charge an adult not in educational a contribution towards the family home. I rent my house and its 3 beds. When I no longer receive WTC and child benefit and lose my single person council tax benefit I won't be able to afford my house. At this point my children can decide to chip in or move out and I'll downsize.
If you are lucky enough to be in a position not to need a contribution then I'm genuinely delighted for you but please stop thinking that ANY family can do this because so many absolutely cannot.

00100001 · 15/08/2020 07:53

@oranges29

This crazy. I don't understand why parents take money off their children if they don't need it. Leave him to enjoy the money that he has earned. Taking money off your children does not teach them 'responsibility'.
Boo, so when your child is living at home at 37, earning £89k and you're paying all bills and food etc. Presumably you'll have no issue leaving him to enjoy his money?

After all you don't need his money.

Confused
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 15/08/2020 07:54

I used to earn £120 a week and my mum took £60. I would absolutely charge my child rent for living here in the future. But a proportionate amount

Confused that's a lot!

How is he ever gonna save for his own house when you're taking £400 a month off him? That's really expensive

The op is saving it for him.

We didn't charge any of our DC anything and wouldn't if they ever came home. I can understand charging if you need the money but some people charge way too much!

00100001 · 15/08/2020 07:54

@Rosieeeee

Pretty sure I was still in college and only earning £120-140 a week on £3.95 an hour when I was 17/18 (15 years ago) when my mum asked for £100 a week to help with house costs/food. I was amazed by how much she wanted as I was working a lot of hours despite being full time at college, and subsequently refused to give her a penny and moved out into my own flat asap after finishing college! Might not have had any money left doing that, but the principle of giving her that much of my salary was outrageous, and I was proud to pay for my own place. We didn't have the best relationship and she had a very poor paying job. I'd have happily contributed if she had asked for a reasonable amount though.
... Maybe that was her plan?
IWantT0BreakFree · 15/08/2020 07:55

How is he ever gonna save for his own house when you're taking £400 a month off him? That's really expensive.

Assuming that he's working full time, he's left with around £1000 of disposable income. He could easily save. Most people do not have £1000 of completely disposable income per month. Also, OP has said that she is saving the £400 to give back to him. It's hilarious that there are people who think this kid is being hard done by 😂

As for "it's expensive", please tell me where I can get a room with all bills and all food included for £400pcm. It's the bargain of the bloody century.

OP, you're doing a good thing for your son. You are teaching him to budget, teaching him to be responsible, and also making sure he's got a great chunk of money for a house deposit etc when he needs it. It's what I've always planned to do for my kids when they are older if they're still at home. I think if my parents had done this for me then I wouldn't have spent my 20's wasting every penny I earned and I'd be in a far better financial position right now. It's extremely important to teach your kids how to responsibly handle their money and to budget. I think it's one of the very most important things you can teach them.

Palavah · 15/08/2020 07:57

Well done OP.

I'm not sure if you can open a lifetime ISA in his name but if you could that would be a great place to put it.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 15/08/2020 07:59

@20viona I saved for my own house as a single parent paying bills in a rented flat and I earn less than £10 an hour. If you can't save for a house with £1000 disposable income a month then you're doing something very wrong.

AIMD · 15/08/2020 07:59

I think it’s a great amount. It’s a bit less than what he’d probably pay if he moved out (when you consider all bills) and you are saving for his long term future. That’s fab!!!

My kids are only small but I’ve recently thought about how to help them save/save for them. I really think this is a great way to help a young person save a chunk of money as presumably you are used to covering his cost in your household expenses anyway.

AIMD · 15/08/2020 08:00

Op does he know you are saving it?

user1497207191 · 15/08/2020 08:04

It's extremely important to teach your kids how to responsibly handle their money and to budget. I think it's one of the very most important things you can teach them.

Well said. If parents aren't going to teach their kids about money, no one else will and they'll end up in trouble. Either severely in debt, or incapable of saving a deposit for a houses or just end up regretting wasting shedloads of cash on rubbish and non essentials.

For those saying £400 is expensive, I wonder how many of them don't pay full costs themselves, i.e. subsidised accommodation, or receiving housing benefits, council tax discounts, etc. £400 for bed & meals, washing & cleaning, etc is bargain of the century.

Parker231 · 15/08/2020 08:10

It’s brilliant that your DS understands the costs involved. It will stand him in good stead for the future. Some DC’s leave home and have no idea on how to manage a budget.

FippertyGibbett · 15/08/2020 08:18

Lucky you, mine don’t pay rent.
DH doesn’t think they should. If I forced the issue and took it off them he’d just give it back.

AIMD · 15/08/2020 08:21

@user1497207191

It's extremely important to teach your kids how to responsibly handle their money and to budget. I think it's one of the very most important things you can teach them.

Well said. If parents aren't going to teach their kids about money, no one else will and they'll end up in trouble. Either severely in debt, or incapable of saving a deposit for a houses or just end up regretting wasting shedloads of cash on rubbish and non essentials.

For those saying £400 is expensive, I wonder how many of them don't pay full costs themselves, i.e. subsidised accommodation, or receiving housing benefits, council tax discounts, etc. £400 for bed & meals, washing & cleaning, etc is bargain of the century.

I would have thought it more likely people with excess don’t understand living costs. People living on low incomes and receiving things like housing benefit are probably more than aware of the cost of living.
Jellycatspyjamas · 15/08/2020 08:22

How is he ever gonna save for his own house when you're taking £400 a month off him? That's really expensive.
Perhaps he’ll learn that most people don’t have huge amounts of disposable income each month. Even if he saved a further £400 a months he’d have £600 to spend as he pleases, which is loads when you’re living at home with all other chars covered.