Things you could never imagine saying before 2020

[CompleteBarstool]

Today I found myself saying how much I love doing jigsaw puzzles.

Prior to lockdown the last time I did a puzzle (other than 4-12 piece ones with my DC about 15 years ago) was about 40 years ago.

What things did you never imagine saying?

I am glad I go to work and do not work from home

I put a self adhesive hooks up for face masks today - never been on my to do list before

Don't hug granny 😔

I’ve been sarcastically muttering “do we think they’re related?” about groups of non-social distancing teenagers a lot!

I thought you were a natural blonde.

Don’t get so close to your friend

Is anyone going out today?

I’m afraid you can’t have your friends for tea on your birthday

I’m sorry Mum....

I'm glad the state & international borders are shut. (In QLD)

I never thought living in a police state would feel comforting & safe.

Have we flattened the curve?

Don't forget to Dettol the Dettol

Yes! The R-Number is under 1

Sorry I can't ask you in. Shall I put one of the chairs in the front garden and make you a drink? I can give you some gloves if that helps?

I've heard the N-95s really dig into your face.

I miss working in the cafe (still working in a supermarket, just not doing my usual job.)
I like wiping baskets.
I love JK Rowling.
Fuck Covid/stupid germs!
I've put my shopping in quarantine.
I really like your mask.
I REALLY can't wait for the kids to go back to school.
Fuck it, I'm still going to London even if I can't see Evanescence till next year.

I bet that they don’t live together.

Can I do a nature wee there?

Also:’Can I wee in your garden?’

The supermarket is out of toilet roll and pasta. And tinned tomatoes.

I wanted to go to Scotland but it's closed.

"Oh I love your mask! Where is it from!?" Just bizarre.

@ravensoaponarope

"How many dead today?"

"The GP said I can see my mother for my mental health, but I think she meant in the garden."

"How come we are supposed to elbow bump when we've just sneezed into our elbows like the government told us to do?"

Never thought of the elbow thing 😂

I miss the kids (from work in preschool when furloughed)

No you can't come to tesco with me, have you gone mad? (to dd 12 who's bored)

Shit it's Friday you need to get on zoom quick for scouts.

What day is it?

Are we going for our Wednesday walk (we only went out once a week at the beginning)

How many layers is this mask? Does it have a filter pocket?

To dh wfh - are you going into work this month?

What was your CAG?

The fucking algorithm.....

“Let’s not go abroad, found a holiday home in Lincolnshire that doesn’t look too bad”

“I’m beginning to like Piers Morgan”

Who is she? And where is Chris Whitty?

Oh good Chris Whitty is back. It's not the same without him.

Don't worry love, whatever GCSE's results you get, we'll cope.

"I'm in no hurry to go back to the pub"
"Quick, the coronavirus show is on" (govt briefing)
"Finally managed to get some eggs"
Sending work emails that end with, "Stay safe and well"

2020 can do one now.

Unwell 5 year old with 42 degree temp that wouldn’t drop. On phone to GP:

• I feel I should see him but DO NOT bring him into the surgery as we don’t have the contamination room set up. You should ring 111 but it is a 3 hour wait at the moment. If his temp doesn’t go down don’t ring an ambulance as waits are so long. Drive to A and E and someone go in ahead to warn them.

Day of lockdown with v unwell child. Was genuinely frightening at the time as first time I’ve had any idea of not being able to access health care easily ( and I don’t drive).

I wish Jeremy Hunt was Prime Minister.
I don't want football to return.

Oh good grief @BighouseLittlemouse - was your child seen in the end?

Thank you for asking @BikeRunSki.

Luckily I have a friend who is a GP who advised giving ibuprofen ( at the time the advice was generally only paracetamol). His temp came down to 39 with that so I decided to ride it out and he did pick up ( temp kept spiking up and down for a week). It was a funny time at the start of lockdown so really hard to judge what to do for the best, I’m a single mum which made it doubly difficult.

He seems to have caught it from his best friend ( identical symptoms and 24 hours later). His best friends mum also v unwell 5 days later and has been ongoing. GP tested them both and both positive for COVID antibodies so do wonder if it was that.