Things you could never imagine saying before 2020

[CompleteBarstool]

Today I found myself saying how much I love doing jigsaw puzzles.

Prior to lockdown the last time I did a puzzle (other than 4-12 piece ones with my DC about 15 years ago) was about 40 years ago.

What things did you never imagine saying?

Those people across the road never come out and clap

No you can't blow the candles out on your cake this year

I've used the word, "furlough" a lot this year. I'm not sure I even knew what it meant before.

Dam need to go back to car
Forgot bags and masks

Where is your violin teacher? He isn’t in this Skype, I can’t find which Skype invite he’s sent for today.

Have you wiped it down?
Right who is helping washing the shopping?
If I hold the envelope open can you pull the contents out?

“Have you bleached the bleach?“
Said to DH whilst he was wiping the shopping down.
I’m mean ffs

That Jeremy Corbyn would have been a less incompetent Prime Minister than the one we have.
That the French President has a clue compared to our government.

Come round for a drink - obviously we'll cancel if it's raining

If you need to come into the house, I've sanitised the loo

That sounds like a great pub/bar/restaurant - did you feel safe?

I'm looking forward to the moment where I can legally see a play again

Also-

(to 70+ neighbours, much fitter than me): I don't think you should be going to the shops, I'm entirely happy to shop for you

Shall we try WhatsApp or Zoom for our catch-up later?

Lovely - lets do a Zoom quiz tomorrow!!

The pub is selling eggs - do you want a tray of 30 ?

"fuck, I'm 60 next week"

That Jeremy Corbyn would have been a less incompetent Prime Minister than the one we have
Good try mate

I miss the gym
I miss the office
To my daughter 'no don't stand so close to grandma' 'no hugging nanna'
How many masks do I need

We've put your tip in this - handing the Chinese delivery guy his tip wrapped in an antibacterial wipe

Why was their wedding postponed?

Well, they don't want to be responsible for people dying, do they?

I don't know if it's safe to touch the post

I should leave my amazon parcel in the hall for a couple of days in case it's contaminated

It could be too dangerous to go to the supermarket

Would it be really reckless to get a McDonald's milkshake do you think?

We had our first day out in months - to the virus testing centre

It's ok, everyone will be wearing masks and gloves

Do you think it will ever be safe to go to a festival again?

I think we should make sure we are always well stocked with toilet roll in case it happens again

It's ok, it was only flu

You might get fined if you go and see your friend

It's not safe to touch doorhandles

I don't know how long I will be -god knows how long i'll be deprends on the queee.

is it clapping day.

cross the road there are people coming.

to dh who had just come home via the supermarket:

" how long was the queue for Morrisons did you see? "

PMDD LOL Happy bday!!

" xxxx you need to unmute your microphone"...many a MS teams meeting

are you on mute?

"How many dead today?"

"The GP said I can see my mother for my mental health, but I think she meant in the garden."

"How come we are supposed to elbow bump when we've just sneezed into our elbows like the government told us to do?"

@cheeseychovolate

Those people across the road never come out and clap

No you can't blow the candles out on your cake this year

you cant blow our candles?

“I miss my colleagues.”

Always wanted to WFH. Now I do, and it works perfectly well, but I do miss the office banter. A bit. Probably not enough to go back to the commute, the scramble for a parking spot, the annoying office radio, the irritating pettiness and politics etc etc.

you can smile with your eyes

cough into your elbow

is it covid secure