Things you could never imagine saying before 2020

[CompleteBarstool]

Today I found myself saying how much I love doing jigsaw puzzles.

Prior to lockdown the last time I did a puzzle (other than 4-12 piece ones with my DC about 15 years ago) was about 40 years ago.

What things did you never imagine saying?

"I had to queue for 45 minutes to get into the supermarket"

Don't have any plans to travel abroad anywhere in the foreseeable future.

Haven't visited poor granny in the care home for 3 months.

Have left the post in the hall for 2 days before risking touching it.

(My ds watching people hug on tv)

'Uh oh.. are they allowed to do that? '

No you can't see your wife who was an emergency admittance with a heart attack last night. No I cannot give a likely date when you can see her.

Are we allowed to visit one another yet?

"Quick, coat on. The Argos 62 miles away has oximeters in stock!"
"Hold your breath when you pass these people" ( on our daily walk)
"Quick- get in from the garden now!!!" (lady two doors down was sat in her garden coughing)

“Don’t forget to social distance“ every time your dd meets a friend.

“DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE” every two minutes to the same dd when out with her.

“Have you got your mask?“

“Look at my pretty mask.“

“After the pandemic I will...“

“How many people died in the last 24 hours?”

“Were people wearing masks?”

“Wash your hands” everytime someone opens a parcel.

That’s all I can think of for now but sure there are more.

You are not allowed to sing.

'We can't go to the park it's closed'

Actually I've said that before just I was telling the truth this time 😂

Have you wiped the dogs paws before she comes in?

They clearly aren't one household.

Ooh we're allowed to go to Leeds.

I don't think you should go on holiday Dad cos they'll probably quarantine you.

(sorry I can't do that unpaid work, I'm) "Under employed & over worked"

"I have no idea when you'll be going to school again"

"The 24 hour Tesco [in tourist town] is empty every time I go there"

"France is now a high risk country to travel to"

If dad had to die then I'm glad it was before all this started and not during it.

@HeronLanyon

Are they in your bubble ?

I’ll just pop out to clean the gates after the postman.

Oh for gods sake I’ve forgotten my mask - have you got one ?

Flour is starting to come back ! (In excited time even though I rarely bake).

I’m ‘glad’ mum and dad both died just before all of this. They never knew what was about to happen. I’m really glad about that’.

I know what you mean.

Well fuck! As I break yet another mask taking it off.

'I'm so excited, the dump is reopening'.

'Fantastic, flour is in stock'.

'Stop flapping Covid around' when DC run around with Amazon delivery.

It's that Carole Baskin

'Has someone bleached this chocolate?'

'no don't touch my notebook, it's in quarantine'!

You’re on mute.., mute.. you are on mute. PRESS THE UNMUTE... great we can hear you.. but we’ve lost Julie.

I got a lockdown dog

If we ever get to travel again...

We really can't kill Granny/other elderly relative by meeting them for coffee...

Do we have life insurance? Does it cover Covid?

When I go in for surgery where I might die you can't visit me.... but if I live we can FaceTime wtf !!!

Put your mask on pet.
When we fly abroad again, I mean IF we fly abroad again....

And
Jesus Christ I just want to go back to work!!!!

My brother in law said this in a moment of candour

"If I knew that this would happen I wouldn't have had the children. There is no way I want to look after them ALL the time"