Should we be more honest about weight?

[LockdownLoser]

A friend of mine has put weight on, she checked her BMI and is firmly in the overweight category.

Now in a large size 12, bordering on a 14 she is not huge by any stretch of the imagination and is probably the slim one at work, amongst her friends etc.

She posted on Facebook how much of a shock it is and how she has always been the skinny one.

Queue people falling over themselves to say how BMI is rubbish, how there's nothing of her, how she should ignore it as she is the size of one of their thighs and so on.

Now she does look great, and I have told her so whilst suggesting a few exercise classes we could do together IF she wants to lose the extra couple of pounds, but when does body positivity become dangerous?

BMI is not just made up figures? It's based on something and serves a purpose, being overweight does come with health risks.

So when do we be honest and say actually yes you could do with losing a couple of pounds for the sake of your health, let's do it together. Instead of saying oh the medical guidance is rubbish, you look fantastic.

All this, well you are smaller than me so have a biscuit seems like encouraging each other in the race to become unhealthy.

I think someone can be overweight but look good. However, for health purposes I think it is important to eat healthily, (not over eat) and exercise regularly. If someone does this they are less likely to be overweight.

I have a healthy BMI and am a size 10 at 5ft 7 but I still want to lose some body fat. My scales tell me I am approx 31percent fat when I last measured. I run about 6 miles most days and walk about 3. I track what I eat and aim for a calorie deficit. I have lost weight (and body fat) over the past 3 years as I was overweight and a size 14.

Ok Miss Marple. Not sure what your problem is, as I don't even remember seeing you before but whatever floats your boat 👀 🤷‍♀️

I do think vanity sizing plays a role. I’m 5’3” 8 stone and size 6-8; at the same height and weight in the 80’s my dm was a size 10-12. Now neither of us were / are overweight, but someone who’s now a 10-12 but would have been a 14-16 quite possibly is.

People who are overweight don't need you to tell them they are overweight, they know

Not true. I gained a lot of weight during a depressive fog and I wish someone had told me about it.

if someone brings up their weight, should we be honest and encourage them to develop healthier habits or should we deny the issue and reassure them that it is fine and the medical guidances doesn't apply to them.

There are other response options... I merely listen. If they ask for my support I will try to give it. One plump friend talks about screwy stuff her parents did around food & I have commented "That is so wrong" and said no more. My friend's relationship with their body or with food is their situation to handle.