Do you eat with your children. How?!

AmIAWeed · 13/08/2020 18:00

Make them set the table themselves.
Cutlery, condiments and drinks for all. If they are young make a jug of water or squash and they out the cups out.
You sit and if they want something remind them they set the table and will need to get it the next time

IWantT0BreakFree · 13/08/2020 18:01

We eat with our young children every night except Saturdays when we tend to feed them early and then have a grown up meal and a drink together.

To be honest I think a big chunk of it is just blind luck that they are "good eaters" in the sense that there is very little they won't eat, and they enjoy food so they are happy to sit nicely and eat until they are full. I'll take a smidge of credit though, because I have always made a real effort to carve out dinner time as family time where we all get together and chat and eat. So they've learned table manners from participating in that every day. They are responsible for helping to set the table, choosing their own plate and their own cutlery, helping to pour glasses of water etc. They also often help me to cook or prepare whatever we are having. Like with almost anything, they are usually more interested in something if they've had a part to play in it.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/08/2020 18:01

Not every day- 3 year old. I don’t want to eat at 5pm, also it’s a good time to potter and do chores whilst they eat.

adulthumanwoman · 13/08/2020 18:02

Yes. Always. They set the table from age 3- badly but it got better. They get drinks and food is plated at the table. They started cooking a meal a week each age 11.

FreeButtonBee · 13/08/2020 18:03

I started with lunch and yes to getting them involved in setting table (and clearing up if they want fruit or pudding after). There is still quite a lot of up and down but I have an enormous kitchen table so can normally throw everything on there so it’s a bit easier to serve extra stuff.

Dinner we normally do Sunday night and maybe Friday if it’s a burger/pizza/pasta night rather than wanting something special.

Fatted · 13/08/2020 18:04

Don't pander to the more food, less food, different cutlery etc. Mine are also of an age where they can be trusted (somewhat) to get things for themselves. We have also always lived with a kitchen/diner so within reach of drinks etc

jessstan2 · 13/08/2020 18:05

I never had that problem. I put condiments and a jug of water on the table and nothing extra was asked for. As they get older they can get anything they want for themselves without mum or dad jumping up to do it, that's awful! Just don't.

Rainbowsoup · 13/08/2020 18:05

The key is preparation. Lay down everything needed first. We have the rule once mummy starts eating you’re not allowed anything else until mummy has finished eating 😂 just cook things we all like or separate meals at the same time, never been an issue.

Pepperwand · 13/08/2020 18:06

It is often a pain in the arse but I think it's a good habit so try to stick to it, although not every day as three days a week they get fed at nursery at 4pm so just have a snack at home.

That said, we don't give them a different meal if they complain. They can have bread and butter or fruit as an alternative but that's it, I'm not cooking anything else.

MynephewR · 13/08/2020 18:07

Cook food.. set table (cutlery, drinks, sauces etc).. plate up food.. sit down and eat. I might get up once if I've forgotten something.

How old are your kids? Mine are 2 and 4 so can't really reach things but if yours are older then they should be getting these things for themselves. Also it sounds like you are pandering to their every whim so maybe stop doing that

BingoGo · 13/08/2020 18:07

We eat with ours (12 months old) at 5.30 pm. They are given our dinner with extra fruit and veg. If they don't eat a lot we give them porridge when we are done

SandieCheeks · 13/08/2020 18:08

How old are they?

I don't get up and down Table is laid before we sit down so no fetching more cutlery, if they want seconds they need to wait.
I don't need to listen to them saying they don't like food or want less! Tell them to eat what they want and not moan about it.

AmIAWeed · 13/08/2020 18:09

@OnlyFoolsnMothers honestly I think it's important to always sit with them, leaving them to do chores opens the possibility up of not eating with knife and fork, messing around. To me family meal times involve sitting and talking. If you don't want to eat at 5pm make yourself a drink, sit down and talk about their day.
It's the only time I can get both my teens in the same room and chatting now but it's a special part of the day for us

OpalExtra · 13/08/2020 18:09

Cutlery goes on the table, extras if they're fussy.
Make drinks beforehand.
Have condiments to hand.
Anything else can wait until I finish eating.
Kids age 2 & 5

BeeTrees · 13/08/2020 18:09

You could be my sister and only have the kids eat with them on birthdays and Christmas. Poor kids eat at school, nursery or they have their own sitting for lunch and tea at the weekend. Shit beige food and the adults eat nice food after they’ve gone to bed. Kids ask to eat what the adults eat but given crap.

StyleandBeautyfail · 13/08/2020 18:09

@Bloodylush

It’s impossible!

Mine always want extra drinks, more food, less food, different food, different cutlery, extra sauce, they like this, don’t like that. I’m up and down ten times.

It’s so stressful there’s no point in trying. It’s easier to just sort them out and then eat later. I don’t know how a whole family can sit down to eat together at the same time and actually finish their meal and enjoy it.

Why on earth are you jumping up and down?

"No Im eating, eat your food" is all they need to hear.

MrsJonesAndMe · 13/08/2020 18:11

We all eat together and often someone will need a drink refill or an extra piece of cutlery, but the meal is the meal - I try very hard to serve things that everyone will eat. Once or maybe twice a week, they might get beige freezer food chucked at them and we'll eat something more adventurous.

Now one is older, they're a lot more adventurous and will eat most things I'd serve.

MrsJonesAndMe · 13/08/2020 18:12

Like your rule @Rainbowsoup

Oblomov20 · 13/08/2020 18:12

I never had any of these problems. I wonder why. Mind just ate what they were given, right from weaning.

TheSunIsStillShining · 13/08/2020 18:12

....different food, different cutlery, ....
really? Well, if they don't like them feel free to go into the kitchen and pick whatever they want.
We always eat together, but i have rarely jumped up and down. Rule is/was: as soon as I sit down I am entitled to have a decent, calm meal as much as the other person. So if you need anything go get it.

On the hand, my mu will do what you do for my dad. Every xmas when they are here for 3-4 weeks he tries this with me. And it takes about 2-3 days to get it through his skull that in this household it's a massive no. And I won't let my mum jump up and down either.

toohot200 · 13/08/2020 18:15

@Bloodylush

It’s impossible!

Mine always want extra drinks, more food, less food, different food, different cutlery, extra sauce, they like this, don’t like that. I’m up and down ten times.

It’s so stressful there’s no point in trying. It’s easier to just sort them out and then eat later. I don’t know how a whole family can sit down to eat together at the same time and actually finish their meal and enjoy it.

I don't get this. Why are you getting up constantly? Lay the table with cutlery and sauces, 1 drink each and then service up 1 meal. Don't make multiple meals and let the kids learn that you aren't their slave!

We eat every meal as a family including weekend breakfasts. It's REALLY important for social communication development in children and a sense of family. Honestly, I've never found eating as a family difficult. I would lower the children's expectations and get on with eating your meal and having a chat!

SimonJT · 13/08/2020 18:16

@Bloodylush

It’s impossible!

Mine always want extra drinks, more food, less food, different food, different cutlery, extra sauce, they like this, don’t like that. I’m up and down ten times.

It’s so stressful there’s no point in trying. It’s easier to just sort them out and then eat later. I don’t know how a whole family can sit down to eat together at the same time and actually finish their meal and enjoy it.

If he wants anything that isn’t on the table he has two choices, one go without, two get off his bum and get it himself.

latticechaos · 13/08/2020 18:17

How old are your children?

This needn't happen, echo a lot of the stuff ⬆️ we put cutlery in a jar on the table, drinks in jugs, they choose what they want on their plate etc.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 13/08/2020 18:17

They lay the table - I let them know what we are eating and they get whatever condiments they will want and ask what I will want.
Big jug of water.

Want different food /cutlery. Tough luck. It's dinner time. Sit down and eat.

WorraLiberty · 13/08/2020 18:17

You need to toughen up, OP.

Jug of water and sauces on the table.

No way would I ever have jumped up and down throughout a meal with my kids. My mum did either, which is just as well as there were 5 of us!