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Original poster

Do you eat with your children. How?!

145 replies

Bloodylush · 13/08/2020 17:52

It’s impossible!

Mine always want extra drinks, more food, less food, different food, different cutlery, extra sauce, they like this, don’t like that. I’m up and down ten times.

It’s so stressful there’s no point in trying. It’s easier to just sort them out and then eat later. I don’t know how a whole family can sit down to eat together at the same time and actually finish their meal and enjoy it.

OP posts:
HopeClearwater · 13/08/2020 20:09

You tell a 13 year old not to be so bloody rude asking people to get up and down for different food and a third drink for them

I hope this isn’t a boy. There’s enough useless blokes about as it is.

EatsShootsAndRuns · 13/08/2020 20:10

If it wasn't on the table you went without. Everyone is entitled to enjoy an uninterrupted meal once the children are past the newborn stage.

Your 13 year old really shows you what he thinks of you!

user1487194234 · 13/08/2020 21:19

We always eat together as a family

beautifulxdisasters · 14/08/2020 00:55

It does sound like it's what and how you decided to cook today that caused all the faffery, not so much your DCs!

I don't tend to do a 4 course meal when I cook for mine, and if I need to heat up several portions I wouldn't do them all separately!

Shamp · 14/08/2020 01:50

Then the juice thing. I did say have water but they wanted juice and it felt mean when there was a new one out in the kitchen. Not a big deal so I got it.

Feels like your making a rod for your own back. Heat things up in a pan for quickness and for drinks, once they're out of juice they can have water, it's not mean to not have an endless fill of juice in the fairly short amount of time it takes to have dinner.
Sit down at the table, if they actually need to get something urgently get them to get it themselves, anything else can wait until after or is not needed, you're not a waitress you don't need to be running to get different drinks or cutlery all throughout the meal.

IHaveBrilloHair · 14/08/2020 02:43

I'm stressed just reading this.
What happens when you eat out?
Do your kids suddenly need more condiments or juice or anything that means getting up and down from the table?
Your Dd is 13, you are doing her a huge disservice not teaching her how ti politely ear a meal.
My Dd is almost 19 but her and her friends have been going out for meals at places orher than Maccas/KFC etc since they were about 15.
Your Dd wouldn't be invited if that's how she behaves.

Porridgeoat · 14/08/2020 02:50

Your 13 year old should be wondering around the kitchen doing all these things. Not you. Irrelevant that your kitchen is small.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/08/2020 02:57

Some poor bloody woman (or man) is going to marry your boy in 10 or 20 years and divorce them five minutes later because they will be completely useless.

We are raising functional adults not serving babies.

My 9 yo gets me a drink if I'm cooking, or a spoon if she needs one, or waits if she can't be bothered. Doing these things gives her a sense of pride and independence. It's not 'mean'; it's actually 'mean' to raise helpless manchildren.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/08/2020 02:59

Or girl, I can't find the sex. Either way!

IHaveBrilloHair · 14/08/2020 03:19

Oh, yes, I just realised I used DD when it may be DS, same stands though.

PlanDeRaccordement · 14/08/2020 03:30

We ate together every day as a family when children were young and even as teens/adults we all eat together everyone who is at home. It’s not as you portray. I was never constantly running back and forth for sauce, drinks, etc.

PlanDeRaccordement · 14/08/2020 03:36

After now reading your cooking style, I agree with pp, that you’ve made a rod for your own back. Why heat 1 portion at a time in the microwave of everything- soup and rice pudding? It is so much easier to reheat it on the hob in a sauce pan or in the oven and then just have everyone line up and serve themselves however much they want to eat. Obviously very young children you have to stand and help them fill their bowl, but by 6 or 7, they can serve themselves. This means too, if they want second helpings, they can go and get it by themself.

1forAll74 · 14/08/2020 03:38

I always without fail had meals altogether with my children and late Husband years ago.. It was always the nicest of times. No gadgets then, and no TV ever on. Just eating and chatting about things, and everyone always enjoyed whatever I had prepared.

lovelemoncurd · 14/08/2020 04:44

I tell the 14 year old I'm making dinner, make it, lay the table, we eat. Yesterday my 20 year old came home too and we ate together. Sometimes youngest is meeting friends so she will take sandwiches or money then. Can't you get everything out on the table or get kids to do that so they are not up and down?

RaisinGhost · 14/08/2020 06:43

I agree with the stressful parts that you've listed, but actually I can't imagine how anyone eats without their kids. I can't imagine anything worse than cooking a meal, getting them sitting down and all the above faff as you described, cleaning up and putting everything away, putting them to bed, then starting to cook another meal, serving it, eating it, putting everything away again and loading the dishwasher. That's the whole evening gone just on dinner.

And I like cooking, but not so much I'd like to do it twice in one evening.

Porridgeoat · 14/08/2020 08:10

Does your 13 year old cook?

Illuyanka · 14/08/2020 08:30

Agree with PlanDeRaccordement. Why microwave? Why not serve everything except dessert at the same time? Soup, gnocchi and rice pudding on the hob. Salad wraps can be made in advance and kept in the fridge, or do it before you sit down for meal. Everything on the table, each one can get seconds if they want. Once meal is done, you can dish up the rice pudding for all.
It really sound like how you serve dinner is very unorganized.

Original poster
Bloodylush · 14/08/2020 08:44

Yes it was a bit disorganised but I had made the soup earlier in a pan and then blended it so poured it from the jug Into bowls to heat up at dinner time. The gnocchi was bad luck as everyone normally likes it and it takes three minutes to cook but I didn’t realise the dried version was so different from the fresh one and it was horrible.

The drinks thing could be solved with a jug of water on the table (never would normally) although tbh that wasn’t a major deal, it’s the whole thing! Even if I had done that, it wouldn’t have enhanced the experience of eating as a family. I maintain it’s not a relaxing or enjoyable way to eat a meal although according to this thread I seem to be the only one!

Btw everybody is fine in a restaurant.

OP posts:
SandieCheeks · 14/08/2020 08:54

Reheating things individually and remaking food mid-way through dinner definitely isn't relaxing or enjoyable.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 14/08/2020 08:55

13?! Flipping heck OP!

They can get their own carton of juice FFS! And the heating everything separately is bonkers. Soup - saucepan. Gnocchi not so delicious? Well, no-one will die of starvation if they chose to leave it and you won’t buy it again Rice pudding? Saucepan. Jam on table, everyone helps themselves.

You are in a prison of your own making!

Illuyanka · 14/08/2020 08:56

You can easily pour soup back in the pan from the jug and heat it up while you are preparing other stuff . Then you don't need to microwave individual serving and it doesn't go cold quickly either.
And yes, you are the one making it harder for yourself. It should be relaxing and enjoyable for you too, with little bit of planning.

TheClitterati · 14/08/2020 09:17

Most nights we eat together.

DC set the table. If they need anything else they get up to get it.

BacklashStarts · 14/08/2020 09:29

I get you’re annoyed and I would be too. But there is a level of you being a tiny touch martyr-ish here. People have made very bland suggestions and you’ve shot them all down. If you just wanted a whinge then start a thread for that but don’t try and extrapolate to saying eating together can’t be done.

It’s also not mean to say no, how will they learn the behaviours you want if you don’t reinforce them?

In case it helps, here’s my view:

extra drinks - you don’t need multiple drinks for 1 meal. Ask before I sit down or you don’t get.
more food - either it’s on plates or the table, there is no extra elsewhere.
less food - how does them leaving stuff on plates make work?
different food - nope
different cutlery, extra sauce - get themselves or no
they like this, don’t like that - ok, but that means they leave what they don’t like so no more work here.

You had a misfortune with the main today. I wonder if heating loads of individual portions n the microwave rather than all in one go in a pan (which would also be quicker) added to the strain.

foamrolling · 14/08/2020 09:31

We would never have a 3 course meal for a start. We'd have had either soup or wraps - that cuts out a bit of faff right there. And yeah, warmed the soup in a pan so I could dish it all out together. Wraps I tend to put everything on the table and they assemble their own.

Pudding is usually just fruit but I would have warmed up rice pudding in a pan too like the soup and probably just put the jam on the table for the kids to add themselves.

The problem isn't eating with your kids it's the fact that you're making life so much harder than it needs to be!!

lemonsquash4 · 14/08/2020 09:32

I eat with my kids (2.5 years and 10 months) every meal. DH usually joins us for supper due to work. We don't have seating in our kitchen so it can take several trips to take everything through to the dining room (particularly when the baby won't be put down). We eat the same food, although I might get the baby a banana if she refuses what we are eating (she then often goes back to what is on her plate). The 2.5 year old sets the table and gets his and his sister's water. I usually put a small pot of fruit on the kids plates for pudding so I don't have to go back to the kitchen. We used to eat separately but I found it double the workload for me.